Food/living allowance for SWMBO when not cohabiting?

[308mate]

How best to do this? You see I dont actually live with her yet.

But I often eat at her place cause we spend most of our time there instead of my place as she has a young child.

Ive not had to cross this bridge before. Totally unprepared am I.

[soad]

Suggest payment in kind, surely?

[Don]

You're serious about this one, then.

I'd talk to her. Offer her something as a contribution, or offer to pick up the tab for something else, or buy her a meal out from time to time.

[Justayellowbadge]

These things are so subjective, and differ in every case.

It depends on many things, your incomes, your atttitudes to money, what you spend when you're both out and about, so many variables.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that we'd need pictures of her naked to be able to offer a valid opinion.

[ascayman]

you're a bloke you buy the food, she's a bird she cooks it.

[Mobile Chicane]

Offer to buy food / wine and take it over would be the simplest thing.

Edited by Mobile Chicane on Tuesday 2nd February 14:16

[crofty1984]

Just go out shopping with her once in a while and say something like "I'll get these in, I'm always eating at yours - It's making me feel guilty!"

[Gad-Westy]

Option A or something less formal, whereby you turn up every now and then with a sack full of shopping.

[308mate]

NB: Sadly, Ive already raised the idea of giving her a monthly food allowance. As a single parent, she wasnt exactly shy about agreeing to the idea. Which I suppose is fair enough.

[lawrence567]

I'm in the same boat as you OP.
I generally contribute to her weekly shopping.
Say it's £40 for example i'll give her £20.
Or i'll buy dinner for us from the supermarket on ngihts i'm round there.

[condor]

Food shopping costs a fortune!! I'd suggest you go shopping with her to get an idea of how much food costs...and then work it out for yourself. A fiver or £20 isn't enough if you're having most meals there anyway.

[bonsai]

Is this something that you're thinking about or did she mention it first?

[308mate]

bonsai said:

Is this something that you're thinking about or did she mention it first?

I started thinking about it shortly after she mentioned it.

[Justayellowbadge]

I wouldn't give her an allowance, however informally.

If she is on any kind of benefits, or maintenance from an ex, it may be considered income and fraudulent if she doesn't declare it.

You'd be better off paying for the shopping half the time or similar.

[Chris_w666]

I voted payment in kind, in reality I would offer to pay for every other food shopping trip and then offer to throw in some nights out if she offered recompense in the form of steak and a bj.

[ascayman]

condor said:

Food shopping costs a fortune!! I'd suggest you go shopping with her to get an idea of how much food costs....

are you f-ing mental??? whats the point in being in a relationship and doing your own food shopping??? before you know it you'll be having conversations with people you've never met on the internet about which is the classiest supermarket.

[Crusoe]

You are using up her water, electricity and gas too, I would offer to help towards some of the bills if I was round there most nights.

[condor]

ascayman said:

condor said:

Food shopping costs a fortune!! I'd suggest you go shopping with her to get an idea of how much food costs....

are you f-ing mental??? whats the point in being in a relationship and doing your own food shopping??? before you know it you'll be having conversations with people you've never met on the internet about which is the classiest supermarket.

No, I'm not f-ing mental. Just the poll options of throw her a fiver or give her £20 were a little short on the idea of how much food costs. For example, a loaf of bread is over a £1 and lasts a few days. Since she mentioned it to the OP then I think she can't really afford to keep feeding him without some contribution. It would be sensible for him to go shopping with her and see for himself how much a few groceries adds up to. It's a lot more than you would think.

[Mr Will]

Another vote for go shopping together and you pay for the whole thing some of the time. Anything else just seems forced.

[Justayellowbadge]

What you trying to say, Jamie?