Divorce Court Order question...
Discussion
Divorce completed last December, we are still living together and trying to achieve a clean break. Now the ex petitioned me but can I get a solicitor to set up the court order? I'm kinda stuck as she wants to sell the house (no kids, 4 year marriage) but seeing as we will be 55-60k short when all is said and done it isn't very appealing to me. I have suggested that she pays me her half of the debt she wants to absorb by selling and I will happily take her name off the mortgage. I need her half to put myself in a good enough position to be able to convince the lender take her name off the mortgage.
However her solicitor is advising her not to do this. There is no negative equity apparently, despite Estate Agent valuations saying differently, plus I value property for mortgage purposes as part of my job so have a good idea myself.
Option three is for her to keep paying into the house until we can sell, understandably neither of us like this idea as it doesn't achieve the clean break.
More worryingly recently things have started to get boxed up (to be sold apparently), things she's paid for, but why sell a can opener and all your clothes bar a few bits. I have the feeling she may walk out and possibly stop paying her share. Previously she has said she won't do this, but also she said she'd pay me for her half of the bills, which I am still waiting for.
Now she has stopped communicating with me (we have a pad on the kitchen side
). So as I said above kinda stuck.
I really don't want to go down the path of getting a solicitor and forcing a court order on her but is this my only remaining option. I can make it work financially if she walks out, it's losing the opportunity to get a clean break is what I'm worried about.
Is my suggestion so unreasonable?
(Sorry for the long post)
However her solicitor is advising her not to do this. There is no negative equity apparently, despite Estate Agent valuations saying differently, plus I value property for mortgage purposes as part of my job so have a good idea myself.
Option three is for her to keep paying into the house until we can sell, understandably neither of us like this idea as it doesn't achieve the clean break.
More worryingly recently things have started to get boxed up (to be sold apparently), things she's paid for, but why sell a can opener and all your clothes bar a few bits. I have the feeling she may walk out and possibly stop paying her share. Previously she has said she won't do this, but also she said she'd pay me for her half of the bills, which I am still waiting for.
Now she has stopped communicating with me (we have a pad on the kitchen side
). So as I said above kinda stuck.I really don't want to go down the path of getting a solicitor and forcing a court order on her but is this my only remaining option. I can make it work financially if she walks out, it's losing the opportunity to get a clean break is what I'm worried about.
Is my suggestion so unreasonable?
(Sorry for the long post)
Sounds like she is being a tad unreasonable.
Does it matter if the house is sold to you or somebody else?
Get 3 fair vaulations, pick the average and from that work out what she needs to pay you to get herself off the mortgage. Or is that to straight forward?
Bad luck about the negative equity by the way.
Does it matter if the house is sold to you or somebody else?
Get 3 fair vaulations, pick the average and from that work out what she needs to pay you to get herself off the mortgage. Or is that to straight forward?
Bad luck about the negative equity by the way.
As soon as you get solicitors involved they will goad you into a fight with one another whilst all the while the pot that you are fighting over decreases by the amount of their fees. It sounds as if you have both managed to be pretty grown up about the whole thing so far. Sit down. Agree who gets what. Don't get precious. Don't fall out over a £100 here and there. Don't even fall out over a £1000 here and there. Don't get overly sentimental about who gets what. When you've agreed it all get a solicitor to draw up the necessary documentation to make it all legal.
This is your best chance of remaining on decent terms when you're all done.
Good luck.
This is your best chance of remaining on decent terms when you're all done.
Good luck.
It seems like there are three options –
1. Sell the house - £20-30k to extricate yourselves (each)
2. Independent valuation – one person leaves and pays half the difference
3. Switch to an interest only mortgage, the leaving party pays half the mortgage until the property regains its mortgage value (quarterly independent valuation?)
Under the circumstances option 2 seems the cleanest, but she may not have up to £30k burning a hole in her pocket – option 3 may well be the cheapest option & option 1 leaves you both in a mess.
Good luck.
D
1. Sell the house - £20-30k to extricate yourselves (each)
2. Independent valuation – one person leaves and pays half the difference
3. Switch to an interest only mortgage, the leaving party pays half the mortgage until the property regains its mortgage value (quarterly independent valuation?)
Under the circumstances option 2 seems the cleanest, but she may not have up to £30k burning a hole in her pocket – option 3 may well be the cheapest option & option 1 leaves you both in a mess.
Good luck.
D
Road Pest said:
Divorce completed last December, we are still living together and trying to achieve a clean break. Now the ex petitioned me but can I get a solicitor to set up the court order? I'm kinda stuck as she wants to sell the house (no kids, 4 year marriage) but seeing as we will be 55-60k short when all is said and done it isn't very appealing to me. I have suggested that she pays me her half of the debt she wants to absorb by selling and I will happily take her name off the mortgage. I need her half to put myself in a good enough position to be able to convince the lender take her name off the mortgage.
However her solicitor is advising her not to do this. There is no negative equity apparently, despite Estate Agent valuations saying differently, plus I value property for mortgage purposes as part of my job so have a good idea myself.
Option three is for her to keep paying into the house until we can sell, understandably neither of us like this idea as it doesn't achieve the clean break.
More worryingly recently things have started to get boxed up (to be sold apparently), things she's paid for, but why sell a can opener and all your clothes bar a few bits. I have the feeling she may walk out and possibly stop paying her share. Previously she has said she won't do this, but also she said she'd pay me for her half of the bills, which I am still waiting for.
Now she has stopped communicating with me (we have a pad on the kitchen side ). So as I said above kinda stuck.
I really don't want to go down the path of getting a solicitor and forcing a court order on her but is this my only remaining option. I can make it work financially if she walks out, it's losing the opportunity to get a clean break is what I'm worried about.
Is my suggestion so unreasonable?
(Sorry for the long post)
I think more clarification is required, before proper advice/general bHowever her solicitor is advising her not to do this. There is no negative equity apparently, despite Estate Agent valuations saying differently, plus I value property for mortgage purposes as part of my job so have a good idea myself.
Option three is for her to keep paying into the house until we can sell, understandably neither of us like this idea as it doesn't achieve the clean break.
More worryingly recently things have started to get boxed up (to be sold apparently), things she's paid for, but why sell a can opener and all your clothes bar a few bits. I have the feeling she may walk out and possibly stop paying her share. Previously she has said she won't do this, but also she said she'd pay me for her half of the bills, which I am still waiting for.
Now she has stopped communicating with me (we have a pad on the kitchen side
). So as I said above kinda stuck.I really don't want to go down the path of getting a solicitor and forcing a court order on her but is this my only remaining option. I can make it work financially if she walks out, it's losing the opportunity to get a clean break is what I'm worried about.
Is my suggestion so unreasonable?
(Sorry for the long post)
ks can be imparted 
Edited by anonymous-user on Saturday 6th February 17:47
B17NNS said:
Road Pest said:
Update, she's moving out and stopping all payments.
She can't just do that. She has a mortgage to pay.Speak to your mortgage provider immediately.
Get yourself a diary and write EVERYTHING down.
Turns out she hasn't got the funds to cover the shortfall, or won't agree to get the funds.
The train crash that I've been waiting for for 12 months has finally arrived.
Options appear to be to either inject capital into the property and pray to be in a better financial position within 12 months or distressed sale.
Road Pest said:
B17NNS said:
Road Pest said:
Update, she's moving out and stopping all payments.
She can't just do that. She has a mortgage to pay.Speak to your mortgage provider immediately.
Get yourself a diary and write EVERYTHING down.
Turns out she hasn't got the funds to cover the shortfall, or won't agree to get the funds.
The train crash that I've been waiting for for 12 months has finally arrived.
Options appear to be to either inject capital into the property and pray to be in a better financial position within 12 months or distressed sale.
I'd second the stuff above about writing to the lender, and keeping good records (don't use cash for this). Ask them what effect something like an IVA will have, and look long and hard about filing a Notice of Disassociation with Experian and Equifax, so that your record doesn't take the taint.
Road Pest said:
FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckEdited by Road Pest on Saturday 6th February 18:28
+ a zillion, what a complete nightmare, both your life's must be hell. I hope there are no kids involved. This is like war of the roses, just avoid chandeliers in the hall.
Sorry that I can not really add anything to help but you have my sympathy for your situation. Personally I would do whatever it took to get as far away from the house as possible, can not not get a quick sale or one of these companies to just take the house, that way you can both get out quickly.
Sounds like you're in between a rock and a hardplace. 
I feel for you.
Your options seem to me to be:
a) Get financially shafted
b) Get financially shafted and let her take you and your credit rating down with you.
Speak to your mortgage provider. The last thing they want to do is repossess. Communicate with them.
If you can afford it (be realistic about it) I'd be tempted to get her to sign the house over to you meaning you take on all liabilities and assets.
Speak to your mortgage provider first though to see if they are willing to lend you the additional funds.
It seems to be a case of damage limitation now.
I feel for you.Your options seem to me to be:
a) Get financially shafted
b) Get financially shafted and let her take you and your credit rating down with you.
Speak to your mortgage provider. The last thing they want to do is repossess. Communicate with them.
If you can afford it (be realistic about it) I'd be tempted to get her to sign the house over to you meaning you take on all liabilities and assets.
Speak to your mortgage provider first though to see if they are willing to lend you the additional funds.
It seems to be a case of damage limitation now.
Right, money sorted so house won't have to be sold in two weeks.
Now what to do about the ex if I can't get her off the mortgages and deeds of both or one of the properties. Would a court order suffice to protect my property or would she be able to renegotiate at a later date - say three years time?
Can I apply for maintenance payments from her, she's pleading poverty but has lied to me several times recently. Once today, said that she has borrowed a laptop from work, I saw the box from Amazon that it came in
Now what to do about the ex if I can't get her off the mortgages and deeds of both or one of the properties. Would a court order suffice to protect my property or would she be able to renegotiate at a later date - say three years time?
Can I apply for maintenance payments from her, she's pleading poverty but has lied to me several times recently. Once today, said that she has borrowed a laptop from work, I saw the box from Amazon that it came in
Can you afford the mortgage on the house? If so, go for her signing over her interest in the property (lender willing). She ducks out of the negative equity, you get this sorted out quickly, without fear of comebacks.
As far as the lying about finances goes, its par for the course. She's frantically trying to get enough together to start life on her own, so "your" bills are down the priority list. Like I sadi above, get the Experian stuff sorted (and double check you havent accidentally acquired joint loans recently)
As far as the lying about finances goes, its par for the course. She's frantically trying to get enough together to start life on her own, so "your" bills are down the priority list. Like I sadi above, get the Experian stuff sorted (and double check you havent accidentally acquired joint loans recently)
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