Stupid things you have done
Discussion
was in Glasgow on Sunday with my Son, Lunch time and we decided on a subway. Spent a good 20 min wandering around looking for one to no avail, at this point we wander into a little shop on Buchanan street, on the way out I ask the guy if there is a subway anywhere near to which he replies with a strange look on his face, yea, its in the big glass building just outside the shop.
Yippee thinks me, we walk out the shop and there is the big glass building in the middle of the street. So off we trots to the entrance, down the escalator, get to the bottom, look around. I turn to my Son and say "that guy was at it there is no subway here this is just the sub..........."
Yippee thinks me, we walk out the shop and there is the big glass building in the middle of the street. So off we trots to the entrance, down the escalator, get to the bottom, look around. I turn to my Son and say "that guy was at it there is no subway here this is just the sub..........."
Edited by chim on Saturday 20th February 09:33
Spent 10 minutes trying to get into an identical model of my car. Didn't think to check the reg no.
Very regularly leave my weekend travel bag at the foot of my bed, wake up in the middle of the night for a piss and proceed to trip over the bag and swear loudly.
Completely failed to understand the concept of a revolving door and got squashed by it when I walked in, then caught the emergency bump stop when I walked out, causing the person leaving to walk straight into the glass.
If I could remember some more I'd post them
Very regularly leave my weekend travel bag at the foot of my bed, wake up in the middle of the night for a piss and proceed to trip over the bag and swear loudly.
Completely failed to understand the concept of a revolving door and got squashed by it when I walked in, then caught the emergency bump stop when I walked out, causing the person leaving to walk straight into the glass.
If I could remember some more I'd post them
Not done that before, but years ago i said to mrs slopes i was going to wash the car
she says"mind the window its open, you dont want to hit your head"
Me"yep, seen it, i'm not that stupid"
Then, walked outside with bucket of water, and straight into it, cut my head open, had to go to a&e to have it glued back together, what a tool!
Mrs slopes managed a good one a couple of years ago. She bought a scooter to make getting to work easier, so went off to do her cbt. Long story short, on a roundabout over the a1 near town, instead of focussing on the road, she looked at the verge and scored a direct hit. Cue drivers stopping to ask if she was ok, with her scooter on top of her legs, dozy mare
she says"mind the window its open, you dont want to hit your head"
Me"yep, seen it, i'm not that stupid"
Then, walked outside with bucket of water, and straight into it, cut my head open, had to go to a&e to have it glued back together, what a tool!
Mrs slopes managed a good one a couple of years ago. She bought a scooter to make getting to work easier, so went off to do her cbt. Long story short, on a roundabout over the a1 near town, instead of focussing on the road, she looked at the verge and scored a direct hit. Cue drivers stopping to ask if she was ok, with her scooter on top of her legs, dozy mare
Edited by snowy slopes on Monday 15th February 18:08
Edited by snowy slopes on Monday 15th February 18:11
Jumped out of hotel bedroom windoew on third floor of hotel in Aviemore when I was there for a weekend of skiing (I had been on the piste all day of course). Thought I was on ground floor. Broke back, leg and foot. After a long spell in Inveness hospital I was flown back to Heathrow (live in Reading) and was picked up by my dad in his transit van so that I could lay flat on a matress he put in the back. I got bored so stuck my finger in a finger sized hole on one of the structure bards inside. My dad went over a bump and I broke my finger - had to divert to Berkshire hospital A&E. Heard my dad swear for the first time in my life that day!
Sym7 said:
Jumped out of hotel bedroom windoew on third floor of hotel in Aviemore when I was there for a weekend of skiing (I had been on the piste all day of course). Thought I was on ground floor. Broke back, leg and foot. After a long spell in Inveness hospital I was flown back to Heathrow (live in Reading) and was picked up by my dad in his transit van so that I could lay flat on a matress he put in the back. I got bored so stuck my finger in a finger sized hole on one of the structure bards inside. My dad went over a bump and I broke my finger - had to divert to Berkshire hospital A&E. Heard my dad swear for the first time in my life that day!
f
k me we have a winner already 
I also had a revolving door incident - accidently followed somebody into the same section of quite a small revolving door and sort of got wedged in it with them, which bought the door to an instant halt, meaning the person in the other section hit their head on the glass and got a bloody nose, and we had to take many tiny shuffling steps to try and escape.
Edited by Georgiegirl on Monday 15th February 18:42
chim said:
Sym7 said:
Jumped out of hotel bedroom windoew on third floor of hotel in Aviemore when I was there for a weekend of skiing (I had been on the piste all day of course). Thought I was on ground floor. Broke back, leg and foot. After a long spell in Inveness hospital I was flown back to Heathrow (live in Reading) and was picked up by my dad in his transit van so that I could lay flat on a matress he put in the back. I got bored so stuck my finger in a finger sized hole on one of the structure bards inside. My dad went over a bump and I broke my finger - had to divert to Berkshire hospital A&E. Heard my dad swear for the first time in my life that day!
fk me we have a winner already Slammed my thumb in a car door - squashed flat like a pancake, lacerated and shattered it in several places, 2hrs before departing for a 2 week bike trip around Europe which included 2days on track.
The worst bit was wearing one winter glove and one summer glove. I like a co-ordinated loook.(only glove that would fit over the giant cast).
Oh and buttons, zips and fastenings - all of which are plentiful on motorbike attire.
The best bit was the ferry loaders who stuck a disabled sticker on my bike and allowed me to board early and in a prime spot.
The worst bit was wearing one winter glove and one summer glove. I like a co-ordinated loook.(only glove that would fit over the giant cast).
Oh and buttons, zips and fastenings - all of which are plentiful on motorbike attire.
The best bit was the ferry loaders who stuck a disabled sticker on my bike and allowed me to board early and in a prime spot.
Went to Finland recently on a business trip and was getting a train from Helsinki to Tampere - The train came along and after cheking it was the right one, I called everyone else to get on the train and jumped on. Sat in the buffet car and thought something didn't feel quite right. Looked out of the window and saw my laptop bag sitting on the platform and the train started moving 
The laptop bag had everything in it (laptop, ipod, car keys, house keys, not to mention the nice new 'Pistonheads The Best Bits 2009' I'd bought to read while I was out there). I felt physically sick. Spent the next day of the trip trying to sort out replacements, retrieving my work from the backup servers, how I was gonna get my car back from Heathrow etc then the next evening got a call from the Helsinki police telling me my bag had been found! Got the train back down to Helsinki and would you believe it, someone had picked it up and handed it in and all the contents were still there!
My faith in human nature was restored! That would never have happened had it been in the UK, would probably have been nicked, or blown up in a controlled explosion...
On the way home I was so paranoid about leaving my laptop bag anywhere that I nearly left my suitcase on the train, but that's another story.......
The laptop bag had everything in it (laptop, ipod, car keys, house keys, not to mention the nice new 'Pistonheads The Best Bits 2009' I'd bought to read while I was out there). I felt physically sick. Spent the next day of the trip trying to sort out replacements, retrieving my work from the backup servers, how I was gonna get my car back from Heathrow etc then the next evening got a call from the Helsinki police telling me my bag had been found! Got the train back down to Helsinki and would you believe it, someone had picked it up and handed it in and all the contents were still there!My faith in human nature was restored! That would never have happened had it been in the UK, would probably have been nicked, or blown up in a controlled explosion...
On the way home I was so paranoid about leaving my laptop bag anywhere that I nearly left my suitcase on the train, but that's another story.......
Edited by Joyrider1 on Monday 15th February 19:32
My career as worlds least successful stuntman began at the tender age of four.
My auntie bought me a spiderman outfit for my birthday, so at my party (with 9 of my friends and various parents in attendance) I put it on, ran downstairs, straight across the lounge/diner, tripped on a table that wasn't normally there, fell forward, knocked all of the food off the table and fell through the patio door, smashing the glass, my face and a huge cut down my back.
I then passed out.
I have been assured that no amount of special effects could have recreated the splendour of my stunt, and I woke up in the hospital the next day with 37 stitches.
In my defense, I was 4
My auntie bought me a spiderman outfit for my birthday, so at my party (with 9 of my friends and various parents in attendance) I put it on, ran downstairs, straight across the lounge/diner, tripped on a table that wasn't normally there, fell forward, knocked all of the food off the table and fell through the patio door, smashing the glass, my face and a huge cut down my back.
I then passed out.
I have been assured that no amount of special effects could have recreated the splendour of my stunt, and I woke up in the hospital the next day with 37 stitches.
In my defense, I was 4
parakitaMol. said:
Slammed my thumb in a car door - squashed flat like a pancake
soad said:
i got a bit of my todger's skin caught when zipping up!
Not wishing to sound like a topper of PKM 'Spatula thumb' and Soad's DIY circumcision attempt.......I caught my willy in a tractor whilst driving naked around the garden
In my defense I was only 4 years old and the tractor was only plastic - but the lesson was learnt well, and when I say caught I mean: I stood up in pain and shock but my bits remain trapped in the steering wheel.
My parents still laugh about it and I still recoil in recollection.
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