Dear people of the UK.....

[saleen836]

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much st (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of st it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough st, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the st you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown

[working class]

My life, i read that around 4 years ago! (but not the gordon brown slant)

Edited by working class on Sunday 21st February 22:36

[NiceCupOfTea]

Saw a version of that pinned to the wall in the staffroom at my dad's school 25 years ago

[HBLC]

Crikey. Last time I saw that, it was signed Harold Macmillan.

[chim]

That just goes to show that things have not changed much