Cheese and sleep
Discussion
I've been conducting a "not very scientific experiment" into the effects of cheese on sleep patterns. When I say experiment, it's actually just the observations of a single nights activities after having had some Bavarian Smoked Cheese.
The evidence thus far is that there is a correlation between the imbibing of said cheese and some odd behaviour. Little of the following I can actually remember:
1) Waking the other half by poking her in the eyesockets and bellowing "Are you crying?!"
2) Waking the other half again to ask "Are you hungry?", to which she sleepily and somewhat confusedly replied "No"...pausing long enough for her to return to slumber I then asked "Would you like a yoghurt?" to which she replied, sleepily and a little angrily "What? No. I'm not hungry"...I then shuffled off for a yoghurt. And some apricots. And some ryvita.
3) Waking the other half again by saying "We're like peas in a pod, we are" to which she replied, decidedly angrily, "We are now, now that we're both awake"
4) Waking the other half to ask "What's going on outside?" as there were people having a conversation in the road. I then proceeded to barrel roll out of bed and approach the window while hunkered down like "a butt naked SWAT team". I then clambered all over a chest of drawers in order to get a better view at the people having a conversation, offering my beloved "a quite novel view of your arse, lit by shining streetlight". I returned to bed and said "I think they were foreign". Apparently I resembled a worried, naked Ewok on speed.
What are your cheese related night activities? I want to know I'm not alone.
Please.
The evidence thus far is that there is a correlation between the imbibing of said cheese and some odd behaviour. Little of the following I can actually remember:
1) Waking the other half by poking her in the eyesockets and bellowing "Are you crying?!"
2) Waking the other half again to ask "Are you hungry?", to which she sleepily and somewhat confusedly replied "No"...pausing long enough for her to return to slumber I then asked "Would you like a yoghurt?" to which she replied, sleepily and a little angrily "What? No. I'm not hungry"...I then shuffled off for a yoghurt. And some apricots. And some ryvita.
3) Waking the other half again by saying "We're like peas in a pod, we are" to which she replied, decidedly angrily, "We are now, now that we're both awake"
4) Waking the other half to ask "What's going on outside?" as there were people having a conversation in the road. I then proceeded to barrel roll out of bed and approach the window while hunkered down like "a butt naked SWAT team". I then clambered all over a chest of drawers in order to get a better view at the people having a conversation, offering my beloved "a quite novel view of your arse, lit by shining streetlight". I returned to bed and said "I think they were foreign". Apparently I resembled a worried, naked Ewok on speed.
What are your cheese related night activities? I want to know I'm not alone.
Please.
I think the OP is right. Smoked cheese can disturb your slumbers. I don't go into hyperactive butt naked SWAT mode but I do have the most clear and bizarre dreams which I often wake up from wondering why I'm in my bed and not still driving the tank through Bowness with someone from school I haven't seen for 30 years... or similar.
t 
Ah, bedtime cheese.
Very happy memories, but alas, thats all they are now, as mrs emsman banned me from eating it less than 4 hours before bed.
Highlight for me (on mature canadian cheddar): Trying to climb out of the bedroom window to kill the shed.
The low point would be a huge cheese platter consumed mainly by me, comprising of all of the usual suspects and a load of stinking bishop. The evening concluded with me walking into the spare room as naked as the day i was born, at 3 in the morning, to have a piss in a drawer.
No huge problems, except a/. her best mate was in the spare room, and b/. i obviously chose the top drawer of the 4 available- later to find out that all 4 were full of handbags.
By all accounts I really needed the loo, as the urine cascading through the drawers made quite some din.
Very happy memories, but alas, thats all they are now, as mrs emsman banned me from eating it less than 4 hours before bed.
Highlight for me (on mature canadian cheddar): Trying to climb out of the bedroom window to kill the shed.
The low point would be a huge cheese platter consumed mainly by me, comprising of all of the usual suspects and a load of stinking bishop. The evening concluded with me walking into the spare room as naked as the day i was born, at 3 in the morning, to have a piss in a drawer.
No huge problems, except a/. her best mate was in the spare room, and b/. i obviously chose the top drawer of the 4 available- later to find out that all 4 were full of handbags.
By all accounts I really needed the loo, as the urine cascading through the drawers made quite some din.
I have always tended to categorise any odd nocturnal effects experienced after eating cheese in the "alcohol consequences" bucket, since my late-night cheese consumption usually occurs after plenty of Claret and frequently before whisky.
Thus, the night-time experiences I most usually associate with cheese include insomnia, confusion re. my current location and that of nearby lavatory facilities, and waking up in the morning feeling as if a pig has shat liberally in my head.
I shall experiment; Serious Cheese before bedtime without alcoholic lubrication will be a new experience.
I did once find a wine (Manzanita Creek 2004 Old Vine Zinfandel, in case there's any left in the world) which generated reproducible effects: utterly bizarre, vivid, almost lucid dreams. These effects appear to be universal, in that everyone exposed to the wine enjoyed them (Mrs. Quaint, friends, my parents-in-law etc.). Needless to say, we've drunk it all.
Thus, the night-time experiences I most usually associate with cheese include insomnia, confusion re. my current location and that of nearby lavatory facilities, and waking up in the morning feeling as if a pig has shat liberally in my head.
I shall experiment; Serious Cheese before bedtime without alcoholic lubrication will be a new experience.
I did once find a wine (Manzanita Creek 2004 Old Vine Zinfandel, in case there's any left in the world) which generated reproducible effects: utterly bizarre, vivid, almost lucid dreams. These effects appear to be universal, in that everyone exposed to the wine enjoyed them (Mrs. Quaint, friends, my parents-in-law etc.). Needless to say, we've drunk it all.
I thought I had a cheese induced nightmare once, I awoke to what I thought was the house shaking, I started shouting and running about preparing for my invitable doom, only half awake I returned to sleep after some incoherent shouting which woke everyone else up. Turns out there had been a small earthquake in the night.
After Smoking some cheese last weekend i went to sleep, only to be woken up by a loud ringing, thinking it was my phone, i picked it up thinking who the hell is phoning me at this time of the morning 5am on a Saturday, picked up phone, turns out it was on silent & it was in my mind.
Not cool.
Not cool.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff