Discussion
There have been plenty of comedy threads on house sharing here, but I need a bit of advice "what would you do in my shoes" etc.
I've been living with my best friend for 5 months. Generally it's been ok but I seem to do all the cleaning, tidying etc and it's starting to gripe. When the bin is full he just puts the rubbish in a bag next to it etc, despite me asking. Constantly leaves lights on etc and it just generally annoys me as I'm a very particular/tidy person. Coupled with the fact that we now work together and he is my supervisor, I'm just finding the whole work/living relationship quite hard. I've spoken to him but seem to get ignored afterwards
I'd like to ask him to find somewhere else to live but I feel awful as he got kicked out by his parents not long ago - don't want to make him feel unwanted or whatever. I can just about afford the rent etc for this place on my own and most of the stuff here is mine anyway...
What would you in this situation?
I've been living with my best friend for 5 months. Generally it's been ok but I seem to do all the cleaning, tidying etc and it's starting to gripe. When the bin is full he just puts the rubbish in a bag next to it etc, despite me asking. Constantly leaves lights on etc and it just generally annoys me as I'm a very particular/tidy person. Coupled with the fact that we now work together and he is my supervisor, I'm just finding the whole work/living relationship quite hard. I've spoken to him but seem to get ignored afterwards
I'd like to ask him to find somewhere else to live but I feel awful as he got kicked out by his parents not long ago - don't want to make him feel unwanted or whatever. I can just about afford the rent etc for this place on my own and most of the stuff here is mine anyway...
What would you in this situation?
Been there, done that. It'll get worse if you don't get it sorted out now! I put up with the same situation for 8 months and it did my head in. You need to lay down the law and tell him exactly what is expected and what is or isn't acceptable. The problem is that if he only left home recently he is using you as his MUM! I had to ask a close friend of 10 years to sling his hook, it ruined the friendship but he simply didn't know how to live away from his parents. Sit him down and have a chat. It shouldn't be relevent that he's your supervisor, any petty work issues should be addressed to the manager above him.
Oh, and obviously.... Man Up! Grow some! Kick his back doors in ( if you're that way inclined ) 335mapped, MX5 etc, etc, etc...
Oh, and obviously.... Man Up! Grow some! Kick his back doors in ( if you're that way inclined ) 335mapped, MX5 etc, etc, etc...
Get a cleaner in for £20-ish per week or whatever it takes to clean the kitchen/bathroom/living areas. Sometimes cleaners do bedrooms too but that's up to you, you might like the idea of him wallowing in his own filth while the rest of the house is fine 
I've shared with blokes (friends) before and this is the best way to keep the peace!
I've shared with blokes (friends) before and this is the best way to keep the peace!
Don't let it continue. If it's your house and he is renting from you then you are perfectly within your rights to tell him what you expect from him. Doesn't matter re: work.
Even if you both rent equally you need to draw up a rota of some kind. If you are particular give yourself the nitty gritty of cleaning but make sure he knows he has to to do the basics.
I know from experience it's better you do the cleaning you want as even if he does do it he won't do it to the standard you want so give him the jobs that help you out but are easy for him to do!
Even if you both rent equally you need to draw up a rota of some kind. If you are particular give yourself the nitty gritty of cleaning but make sure he knows he has to to do the basics.
I know from experience it's better you do the cleaning you want as even if he does do it he won't do it to the standard you want so give him the jobs that help you out but are easy for him to do!
T89 Callan said:
Living and working together will always drive you apart. Move out and try to remain colleagues and freinds before you end-up hating each other.
I don't completyely agree with that, I've house shared with 2 work colleagues who were also very good friends at different times and we are still good friends.Of course there were occasaions when disagreements occured, usually over housework but it never caused an issue at work.
becksW said:
T89 Callan said:
Living and working together will always drive you apart. Move out and try to remain colleagues and freinds before you end-up hating each other.
I don't completyely agree with that, I've house shared with 2 work colleagues who were also very good friends at different times and we are still good friends.Of course there were occasaions when disagreements occured, usually over housework but it never caused an issue at work.
I don't believe that spending that much time together is good for any freindship.
becksW said:
I don't completyely agree with that, I've house shared with 2 work colleagues who were also very good friends at different times and we are still good friends.
Of course there were occasaions when disagreements occured, usually over housework but it never caused an issue at work.
Me too! Of course there were occasaions when disagreements occured, usually over housework but it never caused an issue at work.
But that's why I suggest a cleaner - then the housework issues almost cease to exist.
T89 Callan said:
becksW said:
T89 Callan said:
Living and working together will always drive you apart. Move out and try to remain colleagues and freinds before you end-up hating each other.
I don't completyely agree with that, I've house shared with 2 work colleagues who were also very good friends at different times and we are still good friends.Of course there were occasaions when disagreements occured, usually over housework but it never caused an issue at work.
I don't believe that spending that much time together is good for any freindship.
I think a cleaner is a good idea, if you can afford it.
Edited by becksW on Monday 1st March 06:26
I am currently moving out of a house where pretty much the same happened. Similar thing is that he got chucked out of his parents too...now I know why.
I do not consider myself the tidy king or anything near but my ex friend would let dishes pile up next to the sink (once I eventually gave up doing the washing up FOR him after 4 months of living there and realising the favour was never going to get returned) He would constantly leave take-away’s in the middle of the floor, so on my return from work (I work nights) I would either have to sit with the smell of kebab or Chinese engulfing the front room or clean it myself.
It got to the point where even if I made the place spotless I was still scared of bringing anyone over just in case he had decided to have some food and the dirty plate would be left next to the sofa. Whilst I am not the kind of guy that insists the plates are washed up as soon as you use them and the bin must NEVER overflow, he took the biscuit, days and days worth of washing up to the extent that if I had not hidden a plate and a knife and fork under my bed I would have nothing clean to eat off and bins that if I did not change would sit for weeks un-emptied and just getting more overflowed.
Same with dusting, hovering etc. He has cleaned twice in the year I have been living here. Granted those twice he did make the place spotless but both were after I got very nasty about his living habits...it didn’t change though.
I even went so far as to go on about his bedroom as he would leave the door open and it was just like WTF when people walked past, think about one of those humorously dirty and un-tidy rooms, with pants hanging off the lampshades, dusty carpet etc etc...That was/is his room.
I have since given in my notice and am moving out on the 15th of this month. He can live in his own s
t as far as I care once I move out.
I think you can only do what I did, tell him, tell him again and then if you both have the spare cash insist on a cleaner. He rejected my offer of a cleaner however, but you can only ask. I got crap off his girlfriend for asking them BOTH to clean up on several occasions, so much so that my own girlfriend got involved in the dispute...it went downhill from here.
I do not consider myself the tidy king or anything near but my ex friend would let dishes pile up next to the sink (once I eventually gave up doing the washing up FOR him after 4 months of living there and realising the favour was never going to get returned) He would constantly leave take-away’s in the middle of the floor, so on my return from work (I work nights) I would either have to sit with the smell of kebab or Chinese engulfing the front room or clean it myself.
It got to the point where even if I made the place spotless I was still scared of bringing anyone over just in case he had decided to have some food and the dirty plate would be left next to the sofa. Whilst I am not the kind of guy that insists the plates are washed up as soon as you use them and the bin must NEVER overflow, he took the biscuit, days and days worth of washing up to the extent that if I had not hidden a plate and a knife and fork under my bed I would have nothing clean to eat off and bins that if I did not change would sit for weeks un-emptied and just getting more overflowed.
Same with dusting, hovering etc. He has cleaned twice in the year I have been living here. Granted those twice he did make the place spotless but both were after I got very nasty about his living habits...it didn’t change though.
I even went so far as to go on about his bedroom as he would leave the door open and it was just like WTF when people walked past, think about one of those humorously dirty and un-tidy rooms, with pants hanging off the lampshades, dusty carpet etc etc...That was/is his room.
I have since given in my notice and am moving out on the 15th of this month. He can live in his own s
t as far as I care once I move out.I think you can only do what I did, tell him, tell him again and then if you both have the spare cash insist on a cleaner. He rejected my offer of a cleaner however, but you can only ask. I got crap off his girlfriend for asking them BOTH to clean up on several occasions, so much so that my own girlfriend got involved in the dispute...it went downhill from here.
Edited by ymwoods on Monday 1st March 06:47
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