Groom's speech tips?
Discussion
Googling this gets me an awful lot of adverts. Can anyone offer tips? I haven't been to too many weddings.
This is my outline so far:
- Thank the Master of Ceremonies who'll introduce me (him and his wife have done a lot for us)
- Thank father of the bride for his words and generosity
- Thank everyone for coming (on behalf of beautiful wife and I who I'm grateful to for marrying me) and their help with organising the day, particularly a couple of people who've come from abroad
- Tell a brief and hopefully slightly amusing story about how we got together which links in at the end to the best man's involvement, who I'll then thank
- Thank my mother for putting up with me and for small a part she played in how we got together, hand out flowers to her
- Thank mother of the bride for beautiful daughter, hand out flowers to her
- Thank bridesmaids and toast them.
Do I have to make some sort of promise to the father of the bride about how I'm going to treat the Mrs, any tips on wording that if so? Welcoming me to the family perhaps?
Toasting the bridesmaids, is it ok to say something along the lines of just '...so please join me in raising your glasses in a toast to... the bridesmaids'. As opposed to toasting their good health or something.
Is the order ok? Am I missing any etiquette?
Anything else I'm missing? I'm sure there's plenty! TIA.
This is my outline so far:
- Thank the Master of Ceremonies who'll introduce me (him and his wife have done a lot for us)
- Thank father of the bride for his words and generosity
- Thank everyone for coming (on behalf of beautiful wife and I who I'm grateful to for marrying me) and their help with organising the day, particularly a couple of people who've come from abroad
- Tell a brief and hopefully slightly amusing story about how we got together which links in at the end to the best man's involvement, who I'll then thank
- Thank my mother for putting up with me and for small a part she played in how we got together, hand out flowers to her
- Thank mother of the bride for beautiful daughter, hand out flowers to her
- Thank bridesmaids and toast them.
Do I have to make some sort of promise to the father of the bride about how I'm going to treat the Mrs, any tips on wording that if so? Welcoming me to the family perhaps?
Toasting the bridesmaids, is it ok to say something along the lines of just '...so please join me in raising your glasses in a toast to... the bridesmaids'. As opposed to toasting their good health or something.
Is the order ok? Am I missing any etiquette?
Anything else I'm missing? I'm sure there's plenty! TIA.
Sounds pretty good but I think you are missing the most important bit about your new wife (everyone will cheer when you call her that for the first time). You need a nice sincere bit about how much your wife means to you and how much you love her.
The order is fine as is the wording and toasts etc, amke sure you talk about how stunning/beautiful they look.
The order is fine as is the wording and toasts etc, amke sure you talk about how stunning/beautiful they look.
ks, can someone move this to a more appropriate forum? Ta! 
Agree with Thorny - a couple of additions and you are almost there.
My one tip - PRACTICE!
I managed to find the time to practice mine for about 6 hours the day before the wedding and it paid off. I knew most of it by then and could give a confident speech without having my head in my notes.
Will make a difference, and you might suprise everyone like I did.
My one tip - PRACTICE!
I managed to find the time to practice mine for about 6 hours the day before the wedding and it paid off. I knew most of it by then and could give a confident speech without having my head in my notes.
Will make a difference, and you might suprise everyone like I did.
I used a few prompt cards just to keep in my hand so I didn't forget any vital bit. Definately avoid a script. And practice it, preferably in front of a trusted friend or two who will give honest feedback. And time it, bearing in mind it will always take longer in reality. Plenty of witty if well-worn lines to be found on various sites.
As your Best Man is about to follow you with some character assassination, (and in many ways he has a harder speech than you) work together on a couple of things that lead him in:
- Make a reference to something that sets up a story for him
- Introduce him
It gives you a point to end on, and gives him an early laugh
- Make a reference to something that sets up a story for him
- Introduce him
It gives you a point to end on, and gives him an early laugh
Lurking Lawyer said:
Don't stress about it - you're just the warm-up man for the Best Man! 
I went last on my big day! My bro (best man) wanted to hand it over to me to finish with, which I thought was quite nice.I didn't 'write' mine the night before but I'd kept notes about things that I saw and heard throughout the engagement right up to the morning of the wedding. It was quite easy to weave all the things that I noticed into going around the table / room and thanking all the people I needed to thank.
I didn't try and make too many jokes, just kept it natural and honest which to me was more meaningful. By saying things that you truly mean it will come across as though it's come from your heart rather than the internet.
Not sure if your parents will be with you, but it's traditional not to thank your Dad, which as my mum had passed away a few years ago I took the chance to 'break with tradition' and thank my dad. We are very close, but not very open emotionally and it was a nice time to do it. Ended up bringing him to tears which is something I've never seen before!
Oddly I'd go against the advice of practise, practise, practise. Obviously it's each to their own here, but I hate public speaking so I just knew what I wanted to say, made bullet points and used them to prompt me along the way. I found this made it a little more natural than reading the speech word for word. The other tip I've found that works for speaking is to find somebody in the audience to speak to, it helps if you are nervous. Pick out somebody and focus on them. Also remember to look to different parts of the room and use different people as your 'audience'. Of course you should be looking at the people you are thanking as well.
As for the opening "On behalf of my wife and I *pause for cheers* I'd like to thank you for joining us...." Just remember that everybody there is behind you and want it to be a great day for you and your lady, it's the best audience you will ever make a speech to!
Enjoy it and let us know how you get on
ETA: My thoughts on your actual questions rather than just rambling about my speech!!
I didn't make a direct promise, but said how proud I was to become part of the family (not technically true but it go the point over). I think I thanked them about all the efforts and generosity for the big day and congratulated them on how good a job they'd done on raising their daughter
How does your lady know her bridesmaids? Are they friends they have know for ages? This was the case with our bridesmaids, I mentioned something about how friends like that helped my wife become who she is today.
"Is the order ok? Am I missing any etiquette?" For both of these I'd do what feels right, I'm not sure how formal the wedding is, but it's your day and just make sure you thank those who you like to thank. As for the toasts, I didn't do those during the speech (although it might be a nice break to catch your thoughts etc) I just had one toast at the end of the speech.
Anything else I'm missing? I'm sure there's plenty! TIA.
Edited by theboyfold on Thursday 11th March 17:12
I looked here for inspiration when I was best man: http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/speechhome.aspx
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