Moving Out / In Advice

[Progressive]

Just after some general life advice from the (probably) more experienced folk on here.

Here is the situation:-

I'm 23, other half is 21. Been together 5 years. Happy together. Think this is for the long haul. She is coming back from uni in 3 months and I am more than ready to move out. I think that the idea is for us to move in together.

Our personal situations are I have got a steady job. She is leaving uni with a degree and no 'career job' to fall into. She has plenty of options for high street retail work while she looks around for a job. Basically this will bring cash in but is just a stop gap (hopefully).

I have a fair chunk saved which would cover a deposit on a house / flat of a suitable size. Although I am going into this with the view that it is a long term thing, I want to be sure. I am a realist and we have never lived together before. Surely buying together would be naive.

Any suggestions on how I can proceed with this. What seems reasonable to me is to take on a flat (6 months to begin) and take it from there.

Our take home pay would be about £2,000 per month (worst case scenario). We have seen a number of 'nice places' for £600pm.

I am of the mindset that renting is wasting money but feel like that this is the best situation at present. The flexibility is important to us both. She is likely to find a city job and I am open to re-locate and have scopr for working abroad.

Sorry if this seems like a bit of a ramble. Just feel like I need to get my situation reviewed by somebody who isn't friend / family. Sometimes they tell you what you want to hear.

Cheers,

[Planet Claire]

I would suggest that you rent first to test the water. Living together can be a different kettle of fish than staying over a couple of nights a week. Coming out of uni your girlfiend may well, as you say, have to relocate for a job, and being tied into her own home isn't going to help her, or you. You don't have to rent forever, just until you are settled in jobs and living together, then you can make that next step if it still feels the right thing to do.

[edc]

Probably a bit too boring and sensible but can I suggest a combined take home salary of £2k and living near enough to the city to seek work there is not a lot to live on. Why not come back from uni to the parents home, do the first rung on the ladder jobs whilst looking for the careers job then rent in a few months when the savings are looking better and the job front for the both of you is looking a bit more stable.

Edit - also given that one of you is effectively unemployed then it will be tough to secure a mortgage let alone service it. I'd concentrate on getting steady income before committing yourselves to a mortgage.

Edited by edc on Tuesday 16th March 21:28

[Progressive]

Agreed. Taking out a mortgage isn't the best idea straight away.

The £2k was a 'worst case' figure. My take home plus a few quid for her working part time in a shop.

Maybe her coming home to her parents and me sitting it out for a while longer might be a good idea. Just feels like I'm ready to fly the nest and for me, her coming home seemed like the time we would do it.

I also have a considerable chunk of cash in the bank so once she gets settled and begins to save, we will already have a foundation of savings.

[stigmundfreud]

as said rent first and as the icing on the cake ensure both your names are on all bills etc

[XJSJohn]

If you are ready to "fly the nest" whats to stop you renting. Move into a house share, that will be lots cheaper and be much more flexable too, you get the freedom and she can come over and stay, whilst still being able to go home to folks too until she has her career on its feet too.

If things are still rosey at that point then you can look at the next option.

Is it just me or do people just not want to house share any more? I shared flats with mates (and people that i never knew, but became great mates with by the time i moved on) until i was 26 and had a great time of it whilst not over spending my income!! edit to add - at least not overspending my income on rent ... the drinks bill was quite high as i recall

Edited by XJSJohn on Wednesday 17th March 05:43

[vxsmithers]

Progressive said:

I also have a considerable chunk of cash in the bank so once she gets settled and begins to save, we will already have a foundation of savings.

My 2p: make sure she is 'the one' before throwing a load of money into something, especially if it is not equal quantities from both sides. Even then, draw up an agreement to what additional stake you have in the property over her.

This can get very messy if it all goes wrong, not very romantic, but neither is seeing someone else walk away with something they don't deserve.

Rent first and buy later, plenty of time for getting tied down when you're in your early 20's

[Wings]

vxsmithers said:

Progressive said:

I also have a considerable chunk of cash in the bank so once she gets settled and begins to save, we will already have a foundation of savings.

My 2p: make sure she is 'the one' before throwing a load of money into something, especially if it is not equal quantities from both sides. Even then, draw up an agreement to what additional stake you have in the property over her.

This can get very messy if it all goes wrong, not very romantic, but neither is seeing someone else walk away with something they don't deserve.

Rent first and buy later, plenty of time for getting tied down when you're in your early 20's

Absolute brilliant advice, the number of couples that rent property from me and then break up before the first six months are up, nothing to do with me mine, so rent first.

Also to the OP renting is no more “dead money” than paying interest on a mortgage loan, and just consider other costs incurred in buying, solicitors, stamp duty etc. etc., in this financial climate, renting can be a much more cheaper option and quicker settlement in packing up and moving on.

[Progressive]

Thanks for all the advice.

I was always under the impression that (basically) after 6 months of living (including renting) with a partner all your assets and savings we're put into a pot and split.

For the current circumstances (never lived together, both uncertain about where we will have to or chose to work, current climate) I think it would be a stupid mistake to consider buying over renting.

It seems as though this has been echoed accross the board.

Nice to have my mind put at ease. Thanks.

[vxsmithers]

Progressive said:

Thanks for all the advice.

I was always under the impression that (basically) after 6 months of living (including renting) with a partner all your assets and savings we're put into a pot and split.

No! It was probably a woman that gave you that advice

joking aside, no one should consider they are entitled to half of something they haven't worked for, and I doubt most unmarried couples who don't have joint assets would bother with a solicitor to break up assets they don't share... unless you have pooled all your assets into a joint account, which is unwise to say the least

btw I'm not speaking from personal (bitter) experience, just observations of people who have been royally shafted by unreasonable other halves

[sjj84]

Progressive said:

I am of the mindset that renting is wasting money but feel like that this is the best situation at present. The flexibility is important to us both. She is likely to find a city job and I am open to re-locate and have scopr for working abroad.

I was of the same mindset so I bought a flat when I left home at 22. It is something that I now deeply regret, I could of rented the same flat for the same money and I now wouldn't be wanting to sell at a loss. You are unlikely to stay at your first place for too long, especially if it's a flat, renting gives you the option of moving on at very short notice and with little hassle.

As for an income of £2000 a month, I can't see why that would be a problem, my take home is less than that and I pay all the bills on my own.

[fido]

Wait till you are certain that she will land a high-flying job, before locking yourself into a shared mortgage. That's the ticket. I'd go with the house-sharing option as well, perhaps with another couple.

Edited by fido on Wednesday 17th March 22:29