Advice from the Emsmans?

[br d]

Just watched my beloved Man U win,had a few too many drinks. Stuck on the Clash (I fought the Law), Went into the kitchen to make some burgers (Complete Control), cut through a bap right into my finger, lots and lots of blood.(Career Opportunities)



The bugger won't stop bleeding, had the food but I'm now basically mopping up the claret from everywhere. What to do? Going to the hospital is going to involve a cab and I'm pretty well p*ss*d so I don't fancy turning up at A & E in this state. It'll make me look like some drunken chav (Police and Thieves). christ it's p*ssing out!

What the Emsmans do? This is nothing compared to their probs, just tough it out or spend 4 hourds in the hopital?

Idiot.

[The Hypno-Toad]

If you can type its not that bad.

[Six Fiend]

Have you bled out yet?

[Pigeon]

I am not an Emsman, but the advice from the avian world is either to put a wad of bog roll over the cut and then wind insulating tape round it really tightly (actually the bog roll is optional), or just use superglue. It works for me.

[Targarama]

I believe honey is a good healer/stiucky thing to cover it with.

Seriously though, I'd call NHS Direct and get their advice, this is the kind of thing they are there for.

[OllieWinchester]

Apply a clean dry cloth or towel, do not lift it up to look. If it keeps bleeding, you're probably not pressing hard enough.

[Shaw Tarse]

Pigeon said:

wind insulating tape round it really tightly It works for me.

This works

[br d]

ran it under the tap fot 10 minutes didn't help now rapped it in gauze and holdin on. its gotto slow down soon, doesn't even look thast bad a cut, must've hit a vein. idiot idiot idiot. (Fill her up jacko)

[Dimski]

Toilet paper is fiberous, so not the best idea.

Direct pressure, a large plaster/bandage is best. If it really won't stop then hospital.

[Shaw Tarse]

Ring for an

[condor]

Stick your hand up in the air so there's no spare blood to spill

[DocJock]

Tourniquet.

Round the neck works best...

[Cock Womble]

Do what I did when I put a Stanley blade through the palm of my hand (Top Tip - cut away from the body):

Wrap hand in tea-towel.
Ring GF to tell her I'm off to hospital.
Ring dentist to cancel impending appointment.
Clean up blood off of kitchen walls/cupboards/floor.
Jump in car.
Drive to A&E.
Plonk hand on reception desk, remove blood-soaked tea-towel and say "I need this looking at."

[Mazda Baiter]

Shaw Tarse said:

Pigeon said:

wind insulating tape round it really tightly It works for me.

This works

3M masking tape is better. That or superglue.

[br d]

Held hand above head with tighty wrapped gauze. waited till arm went to sleep. It is definitely easing now,looks like i'm going to live. had plenty of wounds before but this was realy leaking at a fast rate, more beer to replace my blood loss.

thanks for advise people.

[mickk]

What about the burgers?

[br d]

mickk said:

What about the burgers?

well theres the irony, they were veggie burgers, bloody nice too.

[dickymint]

Chop it off you wimp.

[Dimski]

br d said:

mickk said:

What about the burgers?

well theres the irony, they were veggie burgers, bloody nice too.

What an unusual combination for a veggie burger. One could even say rare.

[sday12]

Chelsea will win it, sorry.