Large N-Power Bill..
Discussion
Here is a genuine letter copy and pasted from someone's Fookbace account.
The Author will be made aware its been posted on here..
The Author will be made aware its been posted on here..
Guy on Facebook said:
Dear npower
I am writing to you with regard to a very impressive bill for electricity received by myself via email on the 1st of March 2010 for the rather princely sum of £2559.37. As I am sure you can imagine I was very shocked to see this dazzling number glancing nonchalantly from the screen at me especially as this is a domestic electricity bill for a small but tastefully decorated apartment that has a sum internal square footage smaller than that of the accompanying outdoor balcony.
As I moved out of said apartment back in November in 2009 I had to cast my mind back a few months and ponder exactly what strange and unusual events could have led to myself consuming such a tremendous amount of electricity to lead to such a dizzying bill. The likes of which I have never seen before, I hasten to add.
Firstly, I considered a few environmental factors. Natural resources are forever dwindling and we are constantly reminded this by pressure groups and lentil loving environmentalists who smell of compost and cannabis. However I swiftly remembered that a wonderful company such as yourself is committed strongly to using renewable sources, and being a big fan of those pretty windmills, my first line of investigation was extinguished.
Secondly I considered the global economic slowdown. Perhaps npower had shrewdly turned to fleecing its customers for bills heftier than the price of a small used car? A quick call to the OFT informed me your price increases were subject to to regulation and so again I found myself without an answer to this financially challenging riddle.
This was clearly going to require some deeper thought, how could one man consume so much juice on his own in a residential shoebox? Perhaps I had been attempting some sort of scientific experiment that had slipped my mind? I have wanted to travel through time since I was a small boy, and any scientist will tell you that time travel requires exactly 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity before any jump across the space time continuum can occur. Perhaps that was how I had used all this electricity? Once again I believed the answer to be within my grasp, until I dishearteningly remembered that I had left my flux capacitor on the 35 bus before I even moved to Manchester, so that was out of the question.
As you can see, I am at a loss as to the nature of this telephone number sized figure you are demanding from me. I have narrowed it down to the possibility you have employed a random number generator to produce bills, or perhaps a fat man was typing my bill when he dropped a egg custard on the number pad? Maybe he was too busy thinking about pastry to think about checking if the impact of the egg custard drop had added some digits to the total of the bill he was producing? I entrust you will check this matter with some haste.
Your sincerely
<name removed>
I am writing to you with regard to a very impressive bill for electricity received by myself via email on the 1st of March 2010 for the rather princely sum of £2559.37. As I am sure you can imagine I was very shocked to see this dazzling number glancing nonchalantly from the screen at me especially as this is a domestic electricity bill for a small but tastefully decorated apartment that has a sum internal square footage smaller than that of the accompanying outdoor balcony.
As I moved out of said apartment back in November in 2009 I had to cast my mind back a few months and ponder exactly what strange and unusual events could have led to myself consuming such a tremendous amount of electricity to lead to such a dizzying bill. The likes of which I have never seen before, I hasten to add.
Firstly, I considered a few environmental factors. Natural resources are forever dwindling and we are constantly reminded this by pressure groups and lentil loving environmentalists who smell of compost and cannabis. However I swiftly remembered that a wonderful company such as yourself is committed strongly to using renewable sources, and being a big fan of those pretty windmills, my first line of investigation was extinguished.
Secondly I considered the global economic slowdown. Perhaps npower had shrewdly turned to fleecing its customers for bills heftier than the price of a small used car? A quick call to the OFT informed me your price increases were subject to to regulation and so again I found myself without an answer to this financially challenging riddle.
This was clearly going to require some deeper thought, how could one man consume so much juice on his own in a residential shoebox? Perhaps I had been attempting some sort of scientific experiment that had slipped my mind? I have wanted to travel through time since I was a small boy, and any scientist will tell you that time travel requires exactly 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity before any jump across the space time continuum can occur. Perhaps that was how I had used all this electricity? Once again I believed the answer to be within my grasp, until I dishearteningly remembered that I had left my flux capacitor on the 35 bus before I even moved to Manchester, so that was out of the question.
As you can see, I am at a loss as to the nature of this telephone number sized figure you are demanding from me. I have narrowed it down to the possibility you have employed a random number generator to produce bills, or perhaps a fat man was typing my bill when he dropped a egg custard on the number pad? Maybe he was too busy thinking about pastry to think about checking if the impact of the egg custard drop had added some digits to the total of the bill he was producing? I entrust you will check this matter with some haste.
Your sincerely
<name removed>
dibbers006 said:
GKP said:
These 'witty' complaint letters are usually fairly dull and invariably over long. This one is no exception and only serves to boost the writer's opinion of their own writing style
You are missing the point.My experience of writing such letters is purely venting, an outpouring of frustration at the inadequacies of the services which we part hard earned cash to utilise.
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