In the doghouse
Discussion
OK, seems I'm persona non grata at the moment, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet to read Pistonheads because the other half's not talking to me.
I'm retired, living very happily in Bulgaria thank you very much, on my pension, our only source of income.
The wife's daughter (from her first marriage) who I love dearly, has just been out here for a week (for mum's 50th birthday) with her boyfriend of a couple of months. Plan 'A', cooked up by her and her mom, is that the happy couple say 'f
k it' to Britain, and come and live with us permanently, because they loved it here so much.
The boyfriend, presently 'between jobs', has a chequered past, in bother with the law, into drink and 'substances' but is a 'reformed character' now he's met our daughter. The chances of either of them getting a decent job in Bulgaria are slim to none, that's just the way it is.
I've said no.
I worked my bks off for four decades to get this pension, and I'm fked if a pair of 26 year olds are going to come and live off it too. I feel it's 'good parenting' to insist that they stick in and build their own lives, work their way through the 'system' into decent jobs, and stand on their own two feet. </cliche>
I do not think it's in their own best interests to just give up and 'retire' out here.
So am I the 'wicked step-dad'? Or am I right to stick to my guns, man up, grow a pair, etc. etc.?
All opinions gratefully received,
(I'd be a bit of a 2@ posting if I didn't want your opinions)
I'm retired, living very happily in Bulgaria thank you very much, on my pension, our only source of income.
The wife's daughter (from her first marriage) who I love dearly, has just been out here for a week (for mum's 50th birthday) with her boyfriend of a couple of months. Plan 'A', cooked up by her and her mom, is that the happy couple say 'f
k it' to Britain, and come and live with us permanently, because they loved it here so much. The boyfriend, presently 'between jobs', has a chequered past, in bother with the law, into drink and 'substances' but is a 'reformed character' now he's met our daughter. The chances of either of them getting a decent job in Bulgaria are slim to none, that's just the way it is.
I've said no.
I worked my b
ks off for four decades to get this pension, and I'm fked if a pair of 26 year olds are going to come and live off it too. I feel it's 'good parenting' to insist that they stick in and build their own lives, work their way through the 'system' into decent jobs, and stand on their own two feet. </cliche> I do not think it's in their own best interests to just give up and 'retire' out here.
So am I the 'wicked step-dad'? Or am I right to stick to my guns, man up, grow a pair, etc. etc.?
All opinions gratefully received,
(I'd be a bit of a 2@ posting if I didn't want your opinions)
HOGEPH said:
What could possibly go wrong with that idea?..............
Oh, I don't know. Maybe the kids will realise that Karona has worked his bks off all his life, saved his pennies and jumped through all the hoops that he had to in order to enjoy his retirement in his own little Shangri La?And maybe, just maybe, they'll learn a lesson and get a little inspiration from that.
Fully agree with your actions, cheeky sods 'retiring at 26 to live off you'..
If they really love it out there tell them both to find a trade that they could get a job in, (teaching/nursing at a guess possibly), study up in the UK and when qualified move out and start a new life for themselves.
If they really love it out there tell them both to find a trade that they could get a job in, (teaching/nursing at a guess possibly), study up in the UK and when qualified move out and start a new life for themselves.
I'm with you on this one, but what you could suggest is that they come back over for a couple of weeks and find a job to fund living with you - In the event that they don't find proper employment, they don't stay with you.
The downside, of course, is that if they lose cedde job in a few months time, you're potentially stuck with them.
Another alternative is that you could offer to subsidise a flat for them (in their name) for a few months so at least they're not stuck with you.
Sod it - stick to your guns and say No.
The downside, of course, is that if they lose cedde job in a few months time, you're potentially stuck with them.
Another alternative is that you could offer to subsidise a flat for them (in their name) for a few months so at least they're not stuck with you.
Sod it - stick to your guns and say No.
i say your right.
I am 24 and my missus is 25 - i would NEVER look back to my dad to sponge off.. he would help if i was in dire need but there is no bloody way i would want to sponge off him like that..
tell the BF to grow some and sort himself out and tell the daughter to sort herself out..
fking bums.
You are in the right !
I am 24 and my missus is 25 - i would NEVER look back to my dad to sponge off.. he would help if i was in dire need but there is no bloody way i would want to sponge off him like that..
tell the BF to grow some and sort himself out and tell the daughter to sort herself out..
f
king bums.You are in the right !
Cock Womble said:
You're in the right (enjoy this feeling, as no-one may ever say that again).
Tell the kids to fk off, get a life, get jobs, earn some money, sort themselves out, then maybe earn the right to pop over to see you for up to a week at a time. Maybe.
fTell the kids to f
k off, get a life, get jobs, earn some money, sort themselves out, then maybe earn the right to pop over to see you for up to a week at a time. Maybe.kin A man!I've gotta admit that as much as I would love to up and bugger off away from this country, I would never go out to a place where I stand little to no chance of finding good employment only to live off a relative!
I think I have more pride in myself than that
What? So they want to come and sponge of you? F**K that. Why should you bust your nuts for 40 years to then have them take it?
Tell them they can move to Bulgaria in about 30 years when they have a pension as well to live off.
Seriously, under NO circumstances would I accept what your wife proposes.
Tell them they can move to Bulgaria in about 30 years when they have a pension as well to live off.
Seriously, under NO circumstances would I accept what your wife proposes.
You are right.
The only thing you have to consider now is if you think you can realistically survive the fall out from this situation which is not of your making.
You need to consider your fall back position and how far you are prepared to compromise if it turns out to be a deal breaker on more than one front.
Sure as hell though they would have to wipe their own face.
The only thing you have to consider now is if you think you can realistically survive the fall out from this situation which is not of your making.
You need to consider your fall back position and how far you are prepared to compromise if it turns out to be a deal breaker on more than one front.
Sure as hell though they would have to wipe their own face.
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