Is it possible….
Discussion
Is it possible for a third party to prove that a child is being routinely exposed to drugs (marijuana) being used in the home?
I’m posting this question on behalf of a work colleague who is seeking any guidance/advice/direction about trying to prove that her (colleague’s) grand-daughter is living in an environment where drugs are being used.
Colleague doesn’t know where to turn next and is looking for any help
The background is complex on this, but essentially the Police and some other Agencies are being vague about if and how this can be done, as no real proof exists. My work colleague accepts that it may be an urban myth, but wants to know of it is medically possible to prove that the child has been exposed to inhaling second hand (drug) smoke and if so how and who should be approached to prove the case. Hair strands?
So there’s the question.
Any ideas?
For those intrigued by this, like I say, the background is complex but… (this is second hand)
(work colleague’s) daughter got pregnant and has the child. Child is now 4.
The child’s father (“He/Him”) is from the “other side of town”. He used the “I’ve got a child” argument to get a (council) house. The child’s mother (“She/ Her”) moves in.
She suffers from learning difficulties and is easily manipulated (and has been) to support the acquisition of benefits, by Him.
He does not officially recognise that She lives with him. He has even “encouraged” Her to sign over child benefit to Him. He also manipulated Her to pay Her salary into His bank account
She has slowly and over time become 100% subservient to Him. Violence possibly been used towards to Her in the past, but She’s not disclosing (work colleague isn’t delving too deep).
Over 3 to 4 years the gaps between (Her) visits to my work colleague have become extended. Eventually she admits that He doesn’t like Her seeing her Mum
He is a user and has regularly smokes drugs in the house. Unknown if She is a user, but not thought to be the case.
4 years down the line, She finally realises that He is a violent scumbag and finds the courage to move out, taking the child with her. She moves into parent’s home. Threats of violence made by Him (to all parties) – Police aware. Threats of 100% custody of the child being sought by Him.
She thinks it is right that the child should have access to Him and goes through the courts to define (limited) access rights – expecting this to be xx hours per week.
In court, He claims sole custody, claiming that she has not lived with the child for 2+ years. She has not prepared to respond to the line taken by Him, so the court decide 50/50 access until a further review in a few months
After seeing that how She was living was inappropriate for the child, She is trying to gain all and any evidence to prove that He is possibly negligent as a father, by continuing to smoke drugs in the child’s presence.
My colleague and her daughter accept that they may face some criticism here and that this is all just too late. My colleague says “she knows” that from the very beginning the scrote of a Dad was a waster and has simply used the child as a bargaining chip with the various benefit agencies, so he can freeload his way through life. In his simplistic view he has tried to keep the mother in the background thinking that these agencies will believe he is a single parent. Regrettably it would seem that this has worked to date.
Although the above is a brief précis, this is a sad story and maybe a tale about modern England, the key issue is that both Mum and Daughter are now trying to work in the best long term interests of the child.
The only difficulty that my colleague and her daughter have is that (Mum) hasn’t got the funds to get the best legal advice around and the daughter is having some difficulties with legal aid.
I’m posting this question on behalf of a work colleague who is seeking any guidance/advice/direction about trying to prove that her (colleague’s) grand-daughter is living in an environment where drugs are being used.
Colleague doesn’t know where to turn next and is looking for any help
The background is complex on this, but essentially the Police and some other Agencies are being vague about if and how this can be done, as no real proof exists. My work colleague accepts that it may be an urban myth, but wants to know of it is medically possible to prove that the child has been exposed to inhaling second hand (drug) smoke and if so how and who should be approached to prove the case. Hair strands?
So there’s the question.
Any ideas?
For those intrigued by this, like I say, the background is complex but… (this is second hand)
(work colleague’s) daughter got pregnant and has the child. Child is now 4.
The child’s father (“He/Him”) is from the “other side of town”. He used the “I’ve got a child” argument to get a (council) house. The child’s mother (“She/ Her”) moves in.
She suffers from learning difficulties and is easily manipulated (and has been) to support the acquisition of benefits, by Him.
He does not officially recognise that She lives with him. He has even “encouraged” Her to sign over child benefit to Him. He also manipulated Her to pay Her salary into His bank account
She has slowly and over time become 100% subservient to Him. Violence possibly been used towards to Her in the past, but She’s not disclosing (work colleague isn’t delving too deep).
Over 3 to 4 years the gaps between (Her) visits to my work colleague have become extended. Eventually she admits that He doesn’t like Her seeing her Mum
He is a user and has regularly smokes drugs in the house. Unknown if She is a user, but not thought to be the case.
4 years down the line, She finally realises that He is a violent scumbag and finds the courage to move out, taking the child with her. She moves into parent’s home. Threats of violence made by Him (to all parties) – Police aware. Threats of 100% custody of the child being sought by Him.
She thinks it is right that the child should have access to Him and goes through the courts to define (limited) access rights – expecting this to be xx hours per week.
In court, He claims sole custody, claiming that she has not lived with the child for 2+ years. She has not prepared to respond to the line taken by Him, so the court decide 50/50 access until a further review in a few months
After seeing that how She was living was inappropriate for the child, She is trying to gain all and any evidence to prove that He is possibly negligent as a father, by continuing to smoke drugs in the child’s presence.
My colleague and her daughter accept that they may face some criticism here and that this is all just too late. My colleague says “she knows” that from the very beginning the scrote of a Dad was a waster and has simply used the child as a bargaining chip with the various benefit agencies, so he can freeload his way through life. In his simplistic view he has tried to keep the mother in the background thinking that these agencies will believe he is a single parent. Regrettably it would seem that this has worked to date.
Although the above is a brief précis, this is a sad story and maybe a tale about modern England, the key issue is that both Mum and Daughter are now trying to work in the best long term interests of the child.
The only difficulty that my colleague and her daughter have is that (Mum) hasn’t got the funds to get the best legal advice around and the daughter is having some difficulties with legal aid.
IIRC Hair samples are better that blood and urine as traces last much longer in hair.
Sorry that is all I know.
TBH I would not have thought that the cannabis approach would hold too much weight, every little helps though and if the mother is a non smoker and 'he' is I would spend more time on that he smokes full stop (if he does) in the same room as the child and with no consideration for them. Added to which mum is aware that it is not just tobacco he is smoking IYSWIM.
Hope it sorts itself out.
Sorry that is all I know.
TBH I would not have thought that the cannabis approach would hold too much weight, every little helps though and if the mother is a non smoker and 'he' is I would spend more time on that he smokes full stop (if he does) in the same room as the child and with no consideration for them. Added to which mum is aware that it is not just tobacco he is smoking IYSWIM.
Hope it sorts itself out.
Can't help with the science of it. I might not have read it properly, but is she trying to use the drug use to stop him gaining full custody or stop him having 50/50?
My dad admitted in court that he smoked cannibis in the same room as me, and he still got access to me (when accused). They commented that his honesty went in favour of him.
My dad admitted in court that he smoked cannibis in the same room as me, and he still got access to me (when accused). They commented that his honesty went in favour of him.
Lucie W said:
Can't help with the science of it. I might not have read it properly, but is she trying to use the drug use to stop him gaining full custody or stop him having 50/50?
Bearing in mind that this is my understanding: The mother wants the child to live with her permanently. She was initially trying to be reasonable by not denying access by the father to the child (ie: possibly supervised by a third party) but she definitely doesn't want the child to live in the environment any longer.The father is a natural liar and has lied all the way through the child's life to improve his personal circumstances (and not the child's). The mother (naturally driven by my work colleague) is simply trying to reach an amicable solution as possible. The father is fighting dirty (possibly as he sees the gravy train of benefits drying up).
The fear is that he will convince the court that she is estranged and gain 100% custody...
The father claimed in court that the child lived with him and the child had not seen it's mother for some time. After the Court had reached it's interim verdict, the father then had the audacity to ask for the door key back.... w
ker. As said above he deserves shooting or getting bad Aids.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff