Estate agents, you have to love them

[Garlick]

I've been looking at a few flats recently, and so I have to suffer the bull that comes out of an agents mouth. Some examples:


Me - I'm not sure on the noise from the road right outside the window (Hammersmith Bridge Rd)
Agent - That's the sound of London, don't you like it?
Me - errr, not really.

Agent - what didn't you like about it?
Me - the fact that numerous empty vodka bottles are in the main doorway
Agent - it's probably the postman, quite cute when you think about it

Me - the bathroom is smaller than a caravans, literally useless
Agent - yes but does anyone actually use the bathroom?

Me - it's over my budget as you know, is it worth viewing?
Agent - oh yes, they'll take an offer within your budget
That night....me - I love it, are you sure I can afford it?
Agent - no, you'll need to increase your budget

Me - I'll need parking for more than one car
Agent - No problem, see you at the property
Me - where is the extra parking?
Agent - there (points to one space for approx 60 flats, with a car in it that looks like it hasn't moved in years)

And so it goes on. Most are fine but some are hilarious. Could be a long hunt.....

[turbotongue]

Garlick said:

Me - the bathroom is smaller than a caravans, literally useless
Agent - yes but does anyone actually use the bathroom?

That one can't be true

[sidekickdmr]

is this all through the same agent?

some can be "akward"

funny tho

[Garlick]

turbotongue said:

That one can't be true

Seriously.

She went on to imply that we spend mere minutes in there and was it really that important?

[Garlick]

sidekickdmr said:

is this all through the same agent?

some can be "akward"

funny tho

I've had the pleasure of many agents company recently. This is the best from a variety so far.

[sidekickdmr]

Garlick said:

Agent - what didn't you like about it?
Me - the fact that numerous empty vodka bottles are in the main doorway
Agent - it's probably the postman, quite cute when you think about it

this is my personal fav

why do they think people are going to belive this tripe?

[Garlick]

True too. Odd lady.

[LHD]

And they say the motor trade has a bad name...

[MGB Boy]

sidekickdmr said:

Garlick said:

Agent - what didn't you like about it?
Me - the fact that numerous empty vodka bottles are in the main doorway
Agent - it's probably the postman, quite cute when you think about it

this is my personal fav

why do they think people are going to belive this tripe?

Maybe she means the postman is an alcoholic and this house is his preferred bottle disposal?

I wouldn't count on getting your post on time at all

[Vixpy1]

Sellers can be bad too (me in this case)

Agent showed a nice lady round who could afford the property and had the readies, just a shame i was home when she was showed around.

So what about the pubs round here? she asked
Oh, they are alright, Oak at the bottom of the hill does nice food, anchor at top of the hill is ok but we don't go there, just don't go in the Crown on the highstreet, you'll get shot.

The agents face was priceless

[hidetheelephants]

Up here an EA that sounds like plater flogg have a rep for fluent and copious bullst;

'dwarf retaining walls'= presumably the wall will sulk if you said it was short
'southerly aspect'= a window facing south
'panoramic views'= you can see further than the hedge/fence/other side of street
'In need of some modernisation'= needs gutting as no maintenance/decoration has been done since the winter of discontent(1978 version)
'double bedroom'= enough room for the bed if the door's shut.

I once looked at a flat in Aberdeen that had just had a new boiler fitted; unfortunately it was fitted behind the kitchen door, such that the door would only open about halfway...

[hidetheelephants]

Vixpy1 said:

just don't go in the Crown on the highstreet, you'll get shot.

The agents face was priceless

[The Spruce Moose]

hidetheelephants said:

Vixpy1 said:

just don't go in the Crown on the highstreet, you'll get shot.

The agents face was priceless

[Jasandjules]

I think they have to go to special "talking s***e" classes.

I wonder if there was a competition between an Estate Agent and a Politician, which would win the biggest liar of the year. Be a close call I reckon...........

[Office_Monkey]

Does your choice of estate agent drive around in a BMWmini? The ones that I've met have a tendancy to chat absolute balls (and that wasn't even in their professional capacity)

[BERGS2]

Few years back looked at a place in New Malden

Load of living space
Good Price
Lovely big garden

went to view - turned out it literally backed onto the 6 lanes of the A3 that slice through that particular part of suburbia...

the agent - upon my observation that the traffic was both constant and loud:

"well - its a bit like living by the sea and hearing the waves crashing against the shore"




tw@t

[jas xjr]

had an ea around to value a property. he said X where X was about a third below market price. told him to gtfo. sold eventually for X+10% .
also when i complained that they had a property of my parents for sale for months without any viewings we recieved an offer at full asking price withing a few days. which was then withdrawn after a week. they did that twice. moved to another agent and sold quickly.

[okgo]

OR

you can't afford what you want so they are showing you what you can afford

[Garlick]

okgo said:

OR

you can't afford what you want so they are showing you what you can afford

Probably

Seen plenty that I do like (two have fallen through sadly), but in between you do get cracking stories like the ones above.

[killsta]

BERGS2 said:

"well - its a bit like living by the sea and hearing the waves crashing against the shore"




tw@t