Discussion
Someone has asked me to scrutinise an essay for them to get into a college because of mi amaysing perfhickt grammah an speeling skilz.
Grammatically and spelling wise I can't see a problem, but she has been after this placement for a few years now and due to lack of space or other reasons has never got the placement, now she has got a preliminary placement, just needs to do the interview and write an essay about her skills, and has come up with this
I just can't help but read it as a list with a bit of waffle and the same old phrases and buzz words used over and over again
Grammatically and spelling wise I can't see a problem, but she has been after this placement for a few years now and due to lack of space or other reasons has never got the placement, now she has got a preliminary placement, just needs to do the interview and write an essay about her skills, and has come up with this
friend said:
Degree
I am a joint honours English and Psychology Graduate. A key strength is my varied educational background, which will help me fulfil the demands of the role of a primary school teacher.
English
English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and embedded in many others subjects within the curriculum.
While studying the English half of my degree I had to complete many essays and presentations which strengthened my creative skills, organisation skills, planning skills, self motivation and time management.
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me a solid platform to begin a career in primary teaching. The subject is heavily based in Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics, which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics there are additional skills which I have learnt that I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language, together with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently apply and adapt these to my teaching methods.
I also developed a proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. These will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment within the classroom.
General
My degree has helped develop numerous key skills. These include being able to work in a group as well as on my own initiative and has given me presentation skills that will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
To me it seems a bit lack lustre, I know, even with an English degree, her writing isn't that good in the sense of writing essays, spelling and grammar. Is there anything I could add, or could someone help make this better, it's for a primary school placement in college.I am a joint honours English and Psychology Graduate. A key strength is my varied educational background, which will help me fulfil the demands of the role of a primary school teacher.
English
English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and embedded in many others subjects within the curriculum.
While studying the English half of my degree I had to complete many essays and presentations which strengthened my creative skills, organisation skills, planning skills, self motivation and time management.
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me a solid platform to begin a career in primary teaching. The subject is heavily based in Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics, which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics there are additional skills which I have learnt that I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language, together with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently apply and adapt these to my teaching methods.
I also developed a proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. These will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment within the classroom.
General
My degree has helped develop numerous key skills. These include being able to work in a group as well as on my own initiative and has given me presentation skills that will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
I just can't help but read it as a list with a bit of waffle and the same old phrases and buzz words used over and over again
For a job as a primary teacher subject specific skills should be taken for granted.
They will be looking for her skills in dealing with large numbers of kids. Organization, planning in the short, medium and long term. Adaptability, empathy, attention to detail while also being able to see the big picture etc. etc.
I'd google the gov sites for primary teachers and get an idea of what skills they talk about there as they will be flavour of the month at the moment too, Don't base it on what you find there, but "coincidentally" mention lots of relevant things.
They will be looking for her skills in dealing with large numbers of kids. Organization, planning in the short, medium and long term. Adaptability, empathy, attention to detail while also being able to see the big picture etc. etc.
I'd google the gov sites for primary teachers and get an idea of what skills they talk about there as they will be flavour of the month at the moment too, Don't base it on what you find there, but "coincidentally" mention lots of relevant things.
"English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and embedded in many others subjects within the curriculum." WHAT??? f
kING DREADFUL!
English is relevant to THE role Of Primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and is embedded in many OTHER subjects IN the curriculum.
kING DREADFUL!English is relevant to THE role Of Primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and is embedded in many OTHER subjects IN the curriculum.
I'm sure it needs more of a conversational manner
e.g I quote
English
English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and embedded in many others subjects within the curriculum.
Dead stilted grammar
reprise
English
As a core curriculum subject English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher and of course it is embedded in so many other subjects within the curriculum.
It needs to be less stilted in style and might benefit from a deeper explanation, teachers do spend ages explaining things dont they
or I'm just an old fashioned fart whose education doesn't match up to modern styles
I hope you can help her though, the advice on googling the role is good key advice too
bugger - missed the pluralisation
e.g I quote
English
English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher as it is a core curriculum subject and embedded in many others subjects within the curriculum.
Dead stilted grammar
reprise
English
As a core curriculum subject English is relevant to a role as a primary teacher and of course it is embedded in so many other subjects within the curriculum.
It needs to be less stilted in style and might benefit from a deeper explanation, teachers do spend ages explaining things dont they
or I'm just an old fashioned fart whose education doesn't match up to modern styles
I hope you can help her though, the advice on googling the role is good key advice too
bugger - missed the pluralisation
Edited by perdu on Monday 19th April 21:36
Edited by perdu on Monday 19th April 21:37
Edited by perdu on Monday 19th April 21:39
and there's more:
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me (WITH) a solid platform (FROM WHICH TO LAUNCH) a career in (P)rimary teaching. The subject is heavily based (O)n Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics (I HAVE LEARNT) additional skills which I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language (AND)with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently (ADAPT AND APPLY) these to my teaching methods.
I (HAVE) also developed proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. Th(IS) will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment in the classroom.
General
My degree has helped (ME) develop numerous key skills, includ(ING) being able to work (AS PART OF A TEAM) as well as on my own initiative and has (HONED MY) presentation skills (WHICH) will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me (WITH) a solid platform (FROM WHICH TO LAUNCH) a career in (P)rimary teaching. The subject is heavily based (O)n Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics (I HAVE LEARNT) additional skills which I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language (AND)with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently (ADAPT AND APPLY) these to my teaching methods.
I (HAVE) also developed proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. Th(IS) will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment in the classroom.
General
My degree has helped (ME) develop numerous key skills, includ(ING) being able to work (AS PART OF A TEAM) as well as on my own initiative and has (HONED MY) presentation skills (WHICH) will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
Pothole said:
and there's more:
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me (WITH) a solid platform (FROM WHICH TO LAUNCH) a career in (P)rimary teaching. The subject is heavily based (O)n Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics (I HAVE LEARNT) additional skills which I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language (AND)with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently (ADAPT AND APPLY) these to my teaching methods.
I (HAVE) also developed proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. Th(IS) will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment in the classroom.
General
My degree has helped (ME) develop numerous key skills, includ(ING) being able to work (AS PART OF A TEAM) as well as on my own initiative and has (HONED MY) presentation skills (WHICH) will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
Psychology
I feel Psychology has provided me (WITH) a solid platform (FROM WHICH TO LAUNCH) a career in (P)rimary teaching. The subject is heavily based (O)n Biology, Information Technology, Statistics and Mathematics which are all important aspects of the national curriculum.
Alongside these topics (I HAVE LEARNT) additional skills which I feel are relevant to teaching. These include a clear knowledge and understanding of child development, their development of language (AND)with their emotional and cognitive psychology. I feel I can confidently (ADAPT AND APPLY) these to my teaching methods.
I (HAVE) also developed proficiency in research methods in assessment, evaluation and experiments. Th(IS) will help me develop a supportive and encouraging environment in the classroom.
General
My degree has helped (ME) develop numerous key skills, includ(ING) being able to work (AS PART OF A TEAM) as well as on my own initiative and has (HONED MY) presentation skills (WHICH) will be critical to my role as a primary school teacher.
This is what I mean, it's a bit...st...
We are the same age, apart from I don't have an English degree, so God help us all if that is how the English language in degree form is going, I mean it does read like a CV, a bad CV.
I will start taking the info off here and put something together.
t...We are the same age, apart from I don't have an English degree, so God help us all if that is how the English language in degree form is going, I mean it does read like a CV, a bad CV.
I will start taking the info off here and put something together.
Would it be bad of me to say she's applying for the wrong job? (or placement).
I can't swim, so I wouldn't apply to be a swimming instructor....
There are plenty of other jobs that can use those skills, that perhaps don't require such a modicum of creative prowess.
If she really, really wants this job/placement, she needs to start reading more. A lot more.
Not that employers are necessarily impressed with an extreme vocabulary, but it does help to use the correct words where they are required, even if the correct vocabulary can sound (very slightly) pretentious.
She needs to get her nose in some books for a few months, proper literature, not 'chick lit', modern or otherwise. Seb Faulks, Louis DeBernieres, David Mitchell, and a range of the Booker/Costa nominees from the past few years will seriously help. They're ruddy good books too, most of them.
I may have gotten hold of the wrong end of the shaft here, but that doesn't read as something written by a 'reader'. If I was employing, I wouldn't be overly impressed.
ETA - Caveat Emptor - I read Electronics at University, so know next to bugger all about English writing, but I do read prolifically!
I can't swim, so I wouldn't apply to be a swimming instructor....
There are plenty of other jobs that can use those skills, that perhaps don't require such a modicum of creative prowess.
If she really, really wants this job/placement, she needs to start reading more. A lot more.
Not that employers are necessarily impressed with an extreme vocabulary, but it does help to use the correct words where they are required, even if the correct vocabulary can sound (very slightly) pretentious.
She needs to get her nose in some books for a few months, proper literature, not 'chick lit', modern or otherwise. Seb Faulks, Louis DeBernieres, David Mitchell, and a range of the Booker/Costa nominees from the past few years will seriously help. They're ruddy good books too, most of them.
I may have gotten hold of the wrong end of the shaft here, but that doesn't read as something written by a 'reader'. If I was employing, I wouldn't be overly impressed.
ETA - Caveat Emptor - I read Electronics at University, so know next to bugger all about English writing, but I do read prolifically!
Edited by maser_spyder on Monday 19th April 22:06
Taking the question at face value - the essay should be about her skills. All she has done is put together a list of the subjects she studied and a 'general' paragraph. To be honest it looks as if it was written by someone who hasn't even thought about the question, let alone begun to structure a coherent essay around it.
'Skills' should be about more than her subjects - what about her people skills, listening skills, communication skills, her sense of humour, creativity, capacity for hard work, problem solving, flexibility, achievement-orientation, teamworking, and so on.
'Skills' should be about more than her subjects - what about her people skills, listening skills, communication skills, her sense of humour, creativity, capacity for hard work, problem solving, flexibility, achievement-orientation, teamworking, and so on.
Edited by Ayahuasca on Monday 19th April 22:16
I started going through it bit by bit, but to be honest it is just dreadful.
Use this link: http://www.get.hobsons.co.uk/advice/teaching-prima...
i.e.
List 1, Point 1 "When working with peers at university, I usually took on the role of facilitator and organised the group work. I would strive to ensure everyone fully understood the aspects they were were working on and would offer to spend extra time one-on-one with them if it was an area I was stronger in.
List 2, Point 1 "I have been a girl guide leader since 2005 and have been responsible for leading group activities at Jamborees where my group would look to me for leadership and guidance. My group won the 'Most Improved' award for archery last year"
Use this link: http://www.get.hobsons.co.uk/advice/teaching-prima...
Link said:
What primary school teachers do
* act as a tutor and facilitate learning by establishing relationships with pupils
* create a positive learning environment and motivate pupils with enthusiastic and imaginative presentation
* ensure the optimum development of children, according to age, ability and aptitude
* plan lessons and educational activities
* monitor progress and prepare pupils for National Curriculum tests
* discuss students’ progress with parents
* organise and take part in extracurricular activities and events, such as visits and clubs.
Key skills for primary school teachers
* supervisory and leadership skills
* good listening skills and patience
* willingness to teach a range of subjects
* imagination and ability to explain things in an interesting and creative way
* ability to form relationships and to motivate
* ability to handle challenging behaviour and demonstrate assertiveness
* time-management, and administrative and organisational skills.
Her "essay" should get across how she has done or how she has prepared to do list 1, and how she has the skills in list 2 (using examples) and also get across her personality.* act as a tutor and facilitate learning by establishing relationships with pupils
* create a positive learning environment and motivate pupils with enthusiastic and imaginative presentation
* ensure the optimum development of children, according to age, ability and aptitude
* plan lessons and educational activities
* monitor progress and prepare pupils for National Curriculum tests
* discuss students’ progress with parents
* organise and take part in extracurricular activities and events, such as visits and clubs.
Key skills for primary school teachers
* supervisory and leadership skills
* good listening skills and patience
* willingness to teach a range of subjects
* imagination and ability to explain things in an interesting and creative way
* ability to form relationships and to motivate
* ability to handle challenging behaviour and demonstrate assertiveness
* time-management, and administrative and organisational skills.
i.e.
List 1, Point 1 "When working with peers at university, I usually took on the role of facilitator and organised the group work. I would strive to ensure everyone fully understood the aspects they were were working on and would offer to spend extra time one-on-one with them if it was an area I was stronger in.
List 2, Point 1 "I have been a girl guide leader since 2005 and have been responsible for leading group activities at Jamborees where my group would look to me for leadership and guidance. My group won the 'Most Improved' award for archery last year"
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