Job's-worth killjoys

[Cock Womble 7]

I was approached at work earlier by our very own Chief Wiggum (Head of Security). Apparently, he's had "a few complaints" about me driving under the security barrier on my way out.

My fault entirely - in the pursuit of my harmless jape, I'd forgotten to take into account that security guards were the most humourless, officious, I've-got-a-big-bunch-of-keys-hanging-from-my-beltloop-and-a-uniform-that-looks-a-bit-military spoilsports ever to drag their knuckles across the planet.

So, now I have to stop on the way out like normal people and wait until Cpl Trigger re-reads the manual on which button to press to raise the barrier.


Anyone know where I can purchase a stove-pipe hat?

[Cupid Stunt]

I'd just ignore him & carry on doing it

[zac510]

Do wonder about those poor security blokes. 99% of the time spent sitting on their arse waiting for something to happen it's little wonder they jump at the first chance to exert some authority.

But I'd definitely pull that stunt again if I were you

[eldar]

Disguise yourself as a tortoise. That'll fool them.

[DrTre]

That's cool! Although I'm surprised the barrier doesn't take your hair off tbh...oh...

[WorAl]

I would definitely do it again if I were you.

[Cock Womble 7]

To be fair, they do carry out random boot checks on cars leaving work - in case anyone is making off with a complete kitchen - so they do need the barrier.

But exactly how many fridge-freezers they expect they might find secreted in the "boot" of my Caterham is beyond me.

[Mr Will]

Surely if it doesn't impede your travel it isn't a barrier, tell him you thought it was just a very low bridge.

[sebhaque]

I saw someone do that in a car park once, very funny. Nice one

[Cock Womble 7]

dibbers006 said:

Get into a philosophical debate about if the barrier even exists.

Well if, as has been pointed out already, the "barrier" is no impediment to my progress, one could argue that (for me, at least) it is not a barrier at all and, therefore, doesn't exist. I reckon I'll get all René Descartes on their ass. That'll learn 'em.



TBH, it was the "Are you the bloke with the little open-topped sports car?" opening gambit that raised my hackles.

[iggletiggle]

Cock Womble 7 said:

dibbers006 said:

Get into a philosophical debate about if the barrier even exists.

Well if, as has been pointed out already, the "barrier" is no impediment to my progress, one could argue that (for me, at least) it is not a barrier at all and, therefore, doesn't exist. I reckon I'll get all René Descartes on their ass. That'll learn 'em.



TBH, it was the "Are you the bloke with the little open-topped sports car?" opening gambit that raised my hackles.

I'd have replied nope, i dont own an open top sports car you wanna-be-police-officer-useless-killjoying-feckwit*

• faced with the same circumstances i may not do this.

[Mrs BlueCerbera]

I don't know how you'll manage to keep a straight face whilst approaching the barrier from now on. How much clearance did you have ?

[Cock Womble 7]

Mrs BlueCerbera said:

How much clearance did you have ?

I had to slightly duck my head, but that was probably more instinct than necessity. Easily fitted under it.

[Cock Womble 7]

dibbers006 said:

Maybe just drive up to it so the whole bonnet is under and then stop for the chat!

Better still, drive up until the (alleged and unproven) barrier is in line with my tail-lights, then wait for them to raise it. With appropriate hand gestures.

[DrTre]

Head of Security missed a golden opportunity to say nothing, let you carry on, and then have the barrier lowered by 6 inches or so.

He could have set up a camcorder to film it without you knowing...

[Cock Womble 7]

DrTre said:

He could have set up a camcorder to film it without you knowing...

What kind of sick mind would be capable of such a thing?

Edited by Cock Womble 7 on Wednesday 28th April 17:36

[DrTre]

Cock Womble 7 said:

DrTre said:

He could have set up a camcorder to film it without you knowing...

What kind of sick mind would be capable of such a thing?

Dunno but it takes a real retard to be caught

[Ian974]

DrTre said:

Head of Security missed a golden opportunity to say nothing, let you carry on, and then have the barrier lowered by 6 inches or so.

He could have set up a camcorder to film it without you knowing...

It's things like this that make silly cars all the more fun to own! If I found out I could do that, I'd never stop for a barrier again!

In fact why stop there? Have you ever tried driving under truck trailers on the motorway? Or jumping over a drawbridge?

[Cock Womble 7]

Ian974 said:

Or jumping over a drawbridge?

It's a Caterham, not the General Lee.

[Ian974]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Ian974 said:

Or jumping over a drawbridge?

It's a Caterham, not the General Lee.

I guess so, wouldn't really be the best of things to try and land!