Discussion
There was outrage this morning as a small corner shop ran out of a certain tabloid newspaper. The small shop in Yorkshire services around 3000 people, 2999 of whom buy the paper in question.
After several panicked phone calls the shop owner has confirmed that a secondary delivery of papers will take place, however he was unavailable for comment when questioned about the overall impact of the crisis.
"The main issue, as far as I can work out, is that the majority of customers won't be able to fill their heads with s
te to keep reason and logic at bay" explained the shop's one broadsheet reader, Mr Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, adding "their brains may start working and, potentially could vote Tory on Thursday. How they will cope without the warnings of 'burning to death by freezing asteroids that could cook bacon from out of space' is anyone's guess, not to mention the effects that deprivation of today's headline 'Tories will hit pensioners hardest, while yoofs get away with light bruising' could yield".
In an exclusive interview one local chimp, Dave, had this to say : "Cs". No other readers were available for comment, but the general reaction to Dave's statement was taken warmly by fellow readers; Dave, Dave, Dave and Dave.
Before leaving it is alleged that Dave has made his displeasure further known to shop workers by incoherently babbling "Chuck us 10 Lambert then mate" before making a hasty exit.
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I love having a paper shop. Not.
After several panicked phone calls the shop owner has confirmed that a secondary delivery of papers will take place, however he was unavailable for comment when questioned about the overall impact of the crisis.
"The main issue, as far as I can work out, is that the majority of customers won't be able to fill their heads with s
te to keep reason and logic at bay" explained the shop's one broadsheet reader, Mr Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, adding "their brains may start working and, potentially could vote Tory on Thursday. How they will cope without the warnings of 'burning to death by freezing asteroids that could cook bacon from out of space' is anyone's guess, not to mention the effects that deprivation of today's headline 'Tories will hit pensioners hardest, while yoofs get away with light bruising' could yield". In an exclusive interview one local chimp, Dave, had this to say : "C
s". No other readers were available for comment, but the general reaction to Dave's statement was taken warmly by fellow readers; Dave, Dave, Dave and Dave.Before leaving it is alleged that Dave has made his displeasure further known to shop workers by incoherently babbling "Chuck us 10 Lambert then mate" before making a hasty exit.
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I love having a paper shop. Not.
NoNeed said:
The OP is a tory who decided that selling that socialist rag M****r would help labour so stopped.
Then the public turned on him, there were riots calls for calm by comunity leaders, even a visit by the bishop. But to no avail he had to order some more.
HTH
Pretty accurate synopsis.Then the public turned on him, there were riots calls for calm by comunity leaders, even a visit by the bishop. But to no avail he had to order some more.
HTH
whitevanman88 said:
There was outrage this morning as a small corner shop ran out of a certain tabloid newspaper. The small shop in Yorkshire services around 3000 people, 2999 of whom buy the paper in question.
After several panicked phone calls the shop owner has confirmed that a secondary delivery of papers will take place, however he was unavailable for comment when questioned about the overall impact of the crisis.
"The main issue, as far as I can work out, is that the majority of customers won't be able to fill their heads with ste to keep reason and logic at bay" explained the shop's one broadsheet reader, Mr Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, adding "their brains may start working and, potentially could vote Tory on Thursday. How they will cope without the warnings of 'burning to death by freezing asteroids that could cook bacon from out of space' is anyone's guess, not to mention the effects that deprivation of today's headline 'Tories will hit pensioners hardest, while yoofs get away with light bruising' could yield".
In an exclusive interview one local chimp, Dave, had this to say : "Cs". No other readers were available for comment, but the general reaction to Dave's statement was taken warmly by fellow readers; Dave, Dave, Dave and Dave.
Before leaving it is alleged that Dave has made his displeasure further known to shop workers by incoherently babbling "Chuck us 10 Lambert then mate" before making a hasty exit.
---
I love having a paper shop. Not.
After several panicked phone calls the shop owner has confirmed that a secondary delivery of papers will take place, however he was unavailable for comment when questioned about the overall impact of the crisis.
"The main issue, as far as I can work out, is that the majority of customers won't be able to fill their heads with s
te to keep reason and logic at bay" explained the shop's one broadsheet reader, Mr Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, adding "their brains may start working and, potentially could vote Tory on Thursday. How they will cope without the warnings of 'burning to death by freezing asteroids that could cook bacon from out of space' is anyone's guess, not to mention the effects that deprivation of today's headline 'Tories will hit pensioners hardest, while yoofs get away with light bruising' could yield". In an exclusive interview one local chimp, Dave, had this to say : "C
s". No other readers were available for comment, but the general reaction to Dave's statement was taken warmly by fellow readers; Dave, Dave, Dave and Dave.Before leaving it is alleged that Dave has made his displeasure further known to shop workers by incoherently babbling "Chuck us 10 Lambert then mate" before making a hasty exit.
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I love having a paper shop. Not.
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