Discussion
my friends son is the spit of Roland (much that I'd like to post a pic of him I don't think it's a good idea) and is getting bullied at school. For being a fatty.
Now I've stopped saying "I want to be your friend Roland" as it's was annoying him even though he doesn't "get it", but he's having problems at school.
I've told him to just ignore them and laugh it off but he's getting down.
What is "bullying"? I was called names at school (foureyes) but it didn't bother me. (much)
He's a fat git and needs to lose weight but what's the best way to deal with bullying or is it just part of life?
Your opinions are welcomed.
I was a fat git at school and still am. I was bullied. The bullying stopped pretty sharpish when I snapped one day. I picked up a chair and hit my main tormentor with it. I then gave him a good shoeing while he was down on the ground.
The thing with dealing with bullies is there are no half measures. You need to make sure that if you start at battle you will win and you need to inflict enough pain so that they will not repeat the bullying. It's far better to be thought of as a fat psycho than a fat victim.
The thing with dealing with bullies is there are no half measures. You need to make sure that if you start at battle you will win and you need to inflict enough pain so that they will not repeat the bullying. It's far better to be thought of as a fat psycho than a fat victim.
Edited by plasticpig on Tuesday 4th May 10:25
One chap at our school was fantasically fat in Year 7, and by Year 11 had lost so much weight that he weighed less than he did in the 1st year. There was never any proper bullying really, just the occasional " oi fattie, lend us a pen" etc.
Tell him to lose some weight or get a big nappy with the word "Yokozuna" on it.
Tell him to lose some weight or get a big nappy with the word "Yokozuna" on it.
plasticpig said:
I was a fat git at school and still am. I was bullied. The bullying stopped pretty sharpish when I snapped one day. I picked up a chair and hit my main tormentor with it. I then gave him a good shoeing while he was down on the ground.
The thing with dealing with bullies is there are no half measures. You need to make sure that if you start at battle you will win and you need to inflict enough pain so that they will not repeat the bullying. It's far better to be thought of as a fat psycho than a fat victim.
^ Not a bad approach.The thing with dealing with bullies is there are no half measures. You need to make sure that if you start at battle you will win and you need to inflict enough pain so that they will not repeat the bullying. It's far better to be thought of as a fat psycho than a fat victim.
Bullying is a tough one. On the one hand, it's not nice or pleasant to have to put up with, and can make kids' lives utterly miserable. On the other hand, resilience and the ability to cope with others is an important coping skill for an adult to possess.
I'd go for a combination of:
1. Losing weight - obesity starts early, and is harder to shift as kids get older. He needs tofind a sport or activity he really enjoys, maybe away from school and not necessarily a conventional 'team' thing. Something like sailing, for instance, or something which allows self-respect and enthusiasm to develop away from a 'negative' peer group.
2. Parents should talk to the form tutor / head of year and let them know what's going on. They might be able to have a word in the shell-like of the perps, and get them to lay off Roland a bit. Parents should also talk to their son about how he feels about all this, what he thinks he could do about it, etc.
I'd never condone bullying, but the targets sometimes don't make it easy for you to help them, and punishing the oppressors only gets you so far...
I never looked like Roland but I was certainly one of the rounder boys at school.
Being bullied was s
t and it really affected my school life in one way or another for many years.
At first I used to do what the teachers tell you to, ignore them, walk away, don’t rise to it, let your form master know, all that sort of thing. I tried this realised that that was pointless. All that doing that resulted in was people chasing after you as you try to walk away, suppressed frustration which could manifest itself at a totally unrelated trigger, and of course more bullying for being a snitch.
By the time I was 11 or 12 it was to the point where I would hate going to school and would often try to find the best way possible to avoid the main protagonists. Even worse at that time it was decided that I needed to start to wear glasses and some of the cockier kids from the year below decided that it was a good game to play as well. That got me really fed up and it was clear to me that it had to stop one way or another.
Knowing that I had my parents backing if it went wrong I decided to start to fight back properly, not just a few lame swings or half hearted attempts to chase after people. When I could I would fight back and usually would win. If I knew I couldn’t catch someone or there were too many of them I would suck it up and then at some point in the next week or two would pick the ‘ringleaders’ off at my leisure. A lucky few, particularly those who were likely to be able to actually hurt me if they chose to, were singled out for special consideration and I made sure they were not about to spring back to their feet and retaliate. After I had sent a number of them to the Matrons office and a couple to hospital (I got away with the first one as the teachers believed it had been an accident whilst playing Rugby) and had had a couple of trips to the headmasters office it started to really quieten down.
I was never going to be the most popular chap at school, too thick to be a nerd, too fat to be a jock, but I had a good group of 4 or 5 friends and by the time I moved to my new school, with most of my year from my old school, and things were on a much more acceptable level. Yes there was still the odd bit of bullying but if it got too much I would just explain the error of their ways to the protagonists a few days later.
Of course all this increased physical exercise helped to reduce the lard levels a little and I think this, combined with the knowledge that if they overstepped the mark they would get hurt, not when all their mates were around so it was fun, but when there were no real witnesses to their faux alpha male actions, caused it to all but cease.
So in summary, from my experience:-
1. Suck it up a little. There is no point in going postal all the time, only occasionally, otherwise it just becomes fun for them to wind you up in front of their mates.
2. Telling teacher is a waste of time and effort and only likely to cause more trouble. Make sure that you have spoken to your parents about it before you start to push back though, You may need them to fight your corner when you are about to be suspended...
3. If you can retaliate, but pick your time. Let them get on with it if you have to. Slamming their head into a desk nose first when they aren’t expecting it feels sooooo much better when there aren’t 6 or 7 of their mates standing behind them or worse, you.
4. Do not back down. Make sure that they know if they are going to push the buttons they may very well be the one to get hurt and worse for them they don’t know if it will be now, later, or in a week’s time. They also don’t know if it is going to be proportional, a name call could be ignored, it could get a punch or it could get you suspended over the banister 3 floors up as the contents of your pockets fall on the floor below. Suddenly they are the ones in fear and watching behind their backs all the time.
Bullying is, IMO, all about power. Those who are real bullies (we have all done some unkind things at school from time to time) are actually the biggest pussies of all. They are the ones with the broken home lives who have to big it up at school, the ones who fear the ridicule of their so called friends, life’s real losers. Ultimately though the best revenge upon these pathetic individuals is to live well. I have since met a few of those who made my life hell for a number of years and there is a perverse satisfaction in knowing that Karma has been a bh for most of them 
Being bullied was s
t and it really affected my school life in one way or another for many years.At first I used to do what the teachers tell you to, ignore them, walk away, don’t rise to it, let your form master know, all that sort of thing. I tried this realised that that was pointless. All that doing that resulted in was people chasing after you as you try to walk away, suppressed frustration which could manifest itself at a totally unrelated trigger, and of course more bullying for being a snitch.
By the time I was 11 or 12 it was to the point where I would hate going to school and would often try to find the best way possible to avoid the main protagonists. Even worse at that time it was decided that I needed to start to wear glasses and some of the cockier kids from the year below decided that it was a good game to play as well. That got me really fed up and it was clear to me that it had to stop one way or another.
Knowing that I had my parents backing if it went wrong I decided to start to fight back properly, not just a few lame swings or half hearted attempts to chase after people. When I could I would fight back and usually would win. If I knew I couldn’t catch someone or there were too many of them I would suck it up and then at some point in the next week or two would pick the ‘ringleaders’ off at my leisure. A lucky few, particularly those who were likely to be able to actually hurt me if they chose to, were singled out for special consideration and I made sure they were not about to spring back to their feet and retaliate. After I had sent a number of them to the Matrons office and a couple to hospital (I got away with the first one as the teachers believed it had been an accident whilst playing Rugby) and had had a couple of trips to the headmasters office it started to really quieten down.
I was never going to be the most popular chap at school, too thick to be a nerd, too fat to be a jock, but I had a good group of 4 or 5 friends and by the time I moved to my new school, with most of my year from my old school, and things were on a much more acceptable level. Yes there was still the odd bit of bullying but if it got too much I would just explain the error of their ways to the protagonists a few days later.
Of course all this increased physical exercise helped to reduce the lard levels a little and I think this, combined with the knowledge that if they overstepped the mark they would get hurt, not when all their mates were around so it was fun, but when there were no real witnesses to their faux alpha male actions, caused it to all but cease.
So in summary, from my experience:-
1. Suck it up a little. There is no point in going postal all the time, only occasionally, otherwise it just becomes fun for them to wind you up in front of their mates.
2. Telling teacher is a waste of time and effort and only likely to cause more trouble. Make sure that you have spoken to your parents about it before you start to push back though, You may need them to fight your corner when you are about to be suspended...
3. If you can retaliate, but pick your time. Let them get on with it if you have to. Slamming their head into a desk nose first when they aren’t expecting it feels sooooo much better when there aren’t 6 or 7 of their mates standing behind them or worse, you.
4. Do not back down. Make sure that they know if they are going to push the buttons they may very well be the one to get hurt and worse for them they don’t know if it will be now, later, or in a week’s time. They also don’t know if it is going to be proportional, a name call could be ignored, it could get a punch or it could get you suspended over the banister 3 floors up as the contents of your pockets fall on the floor below. Suddenly they are the ones in fear and watching behind their backs all the time.
Bullying is, IMO, all about power. Those who are real bullies (we have all done some unkind things at school from time to time) are actually the biggest pussies of all. They are the ones with the broken home lives who have to big it up at school, the ones who fear the ridicule of their so called friends, life’s real losers. Ultimately though the best revenge upon these pathetic individuals is to live well. I have since met a few of those who made my life hell for a number of years and there is a perverse satisfaction in knowing that Karma has been a b
h for most of them Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 4th May 11:28
N Dentressangle said:
/snip
I'd never condone bullying, but the targets sometimes don't make it easy for you to help them. /snip
This is true. I'd never condone bullying, but the targets sometimes don't make it easy for you to help them. /snip
I was rather round
But as many of us know, there are ways of dressing which can help with appearance, NHS glasses with mike bottle bottom lenses are not a good look, and acting like a pig is poor form.
It is very important to get a sense to perspective on things. Some times you will have deserved it!
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