My Mate. Making a Mistake? What Should I Do?
Discussion
I fear a mate of mine is getting taken in and making a terrible mistake.
Bit of background. We were best frieends at school and Uni but fell out over a woman. Decades ago, but it damaged our friendship simply because after years of not being in contact, when we made up - we'd both changed as people.
Still he is a mate - mainly on email/facebook - and I really don't want him to make a big mistake.
He's wandering into the internet/Russian bride territory. Having just turned 40, he has a string of failed relationships behind him. He's a good looking lad, but unlucky in love. What he is, is his own man. He does a dream job (For him a goal he has had since being about 15) He's not a huge earner, but being an only child and having recently lost his last surviving parent, I rekcon he's very well off indeed.
At 40 - he is just about where he wants to be in life. Except that is for the woman he so yearns.
A bit old beyond his years, we've often talked of his desire to marry the classic English Rose type woman, Laura Ashley dresses, cake baking crisp white sheets, great sex etc. In his dream, he'll watch cricket, restore old sports cars and have this woman in his life.
But its not happened.
Now he's popped up on Facebook toting a Russian Bird who appears to be the love of his life. Fair enough, but he met her on line, he's been out to Russia for a short time to see her. Judging by the FB pix they only had one day out together, as they are both wearing the same clothes in every shot. She looks - well - like a wrongun. No smiles.
The cynic in me says he's a great catch for some tart looking for a British passport. Nice house, nice job, bit of money, desparate.
I know this thread is useless without pix - but I ain publishing pix of him and her on here. Sorry.
My mate can be headstrong and stupid. Previous Ex-es have included an upmarket prozzie and a mentalist Japanese lass.
When it's all gone wrong in the past its led to him getting uber depressed, prosac, thoughts of suicide etc.
Do I say something - or let him make his own mistake - again?
As I say, we're not the boosom buddies we were back in 1990 - but he's still a mate and I don't want him to get shafted.
Very long winded post - if you got this far, cheers.
Bit of background. We were best frieends at school and Uni but fell out over a woman. Decades ago, but it damaged our friendship simply because after years of not being in contact, when we made up - we'd both changed as people.
Still he is a mate - mainly on email/facebook - and I really don't want him to make a big mistake.
He's wandering into the internet/Russian bride territory. Having just turned 40, he has a string of failed relationships behind him. He's a good looking lad, but unlucky in love. What he is, is his own man. He does a dream job (For him a goal he has had since being about 15) He's not a huge earner, but being an only child and having recently lost his last surviving parent, I rekcon he's very well off indeed.
At 40 - he is just about where he wants to be in life. Except that is for the woman he so yearns.
A bit old beyond his years, we've often talked of his desire to marry the classic English Rose type woman, Laura Ashley dresses, cake baking crisp white sheets, great sex etc. In his dream, he'll watch cricket, restore old sports cars and have this woman in his life.
But its not happened.
Now he's popped up on Facebook toting a Russian Bird who appears to be the love of his life. Fair enough, but he met her on line, he's been out to Russia for a short time to see her. Judging by the FB pix they only had one day out together, as they are both wearing the same clothes in every shot. She looks - well - like a wrongun. No smiles.
The cynic in me says he's a great catch for some tart looking for a British passport. Nice house, nice job, bit of money, desparate.
I know this thread is useless without pix - but I ain publishing pix of him and her on here. Sorry.
My mate can be headstrong and stupid. Previous Ex-es have included an upmarket prozzie and a mentalist Japanese lass.
When it's all gone wrong in the past its led to him getting uber depressed, prosac, thoughts of suicide etc.
Do I say something - or let him make his own mistake - again?
As I say, we're not the boosom buddies we were back in 1990 - but he's still a mate and I don't want him to get shafted.
Very long winded post - if you got this far, cheers.
Edited by wildcat45 on Thursday 13th May 11:45
Edited by wildcat45 on Thursday 13th May 11:46
CrashTD said:
Middle Aged
Loosing his looks
Too much disposable income
Several failed Relationships
Likes Cars
Tell him to join Pistonheads.
That is good. Very good.Loosing his looks
Too much disposable income
Several failed Relationships
Likes Cars
Tell him to join Pistonheads.
Edited by CrashTD on Thursday 13th May 12:01
As a counterpoint, I have a friend who did this.
They are still together after 8 years and two kids.
From the outside they are happy. Behind doors? ???
Would I do it?
Would I f
k.If he'd met the women you guys dreamed of he'd just get a normal case of the mental after a few years and not much sex.
If he's loved up with the russian at least he cant understand her mental and is probably getting lots of anal.
He's 40. Let him be and never slate her to his face if they break up, he might get back with her.
If he's loved up with the russian at least he cant understand her mental and is probably getting lots of anal.
He's 40. Let him be and never slate her to his face if they break up, he might get back with her.
soad said:
Previous Ex-es have included an upmarket prozzie and a mentalist Japanese lass.
Really?!
What's the deal with foreign bird then - should just get out more, bound to meet someone nice over time....
To be fair the Prozzie came from York. But yes, he's had more than his fair share of foreign women in relationships.Really?!
What's the deal with foreign bird then - should just get out more, bound to meet someone nice over time....
I don't know if it's easier for him hitting it off with women froma differnet culture. As I say, he's old for his years, sees himself as a bit of a John Steed - should have been around in the 60s really.
I could see a lot of British women thinking he was a bit of an oddball saddo.
I don't think there's a lot you can do really, he's old enough to make his own decisions & it's probably at least crossed his mind that she might be only interested because of the passport & money etc. If he still thinks it's worth going through with be supportive & be there for him if it does go tits up. I don't think mentioning what happens with the majority of that kind of relationship will do any harm but it's his life so if he's happy to marry her be happy for him
If you fell out over a female before I wouldn't say anything - might just re-ignite the old arguement. He might think you are just jealous etc etc. I'd just tell him to be carefull but enjoy himself - be there as a mate and leave it at that. If you were still really close then you could maybe say something, but given the history - I'd leave it.
wildcat45 said:
528Sport said:
Thanks mate - one to view at home I think.could he put all his money in a some kind of trust so that future mrs XXX can't get it?
Oh and agree with the "tell him to join pistonheads" we will sort him out
Why bother with Russian birds?
If you are going through a crisis of confidence, head to Thailand and work your way through the female population.
1) cheaper
2) better bodies
3) they sound like they are enjoying it (but don't ever bring them back cause they seal up overnight)
4) avoid the ones with limp handshakes as they ain't right 'down there.
The advantages of Thailand over Russia:
1) cheaper
2) hotter
3) rain is warm, more like a shower.
4) prettier countryside
5) if you did get hooked up with a Thai bird, then your future mother in law isn't called Helga with a mole on her top lip.
But NEVER EVER let them in the UK.
If you are going through a crisis of confidence, head to Thailand and work your way through the female population.
1) cheaper
2) better bodies
3) they sound like they are enjoying it (but don't ever bring them back cause they seal up overnight)
4) avoid the ones with limp handshakes as they ain't right 'down there.
The advantages of Thailand over Russia:
1) cheaper
2) hotter
3) rain is warm, more like a shower.
4) prettier countryside
5) if you did get hooked up with a Thai bird, then your future mother in law isn't called Helga with a mole on her top lip.
But NEVER EVER let them in the UK.
wildcat45 said:
Loads of other facts - prozzies, mentalist Japanese women, suicidal thoughts etc etc.
He's got a track record of finding wronguns and falling in love with them.
Facts about the new girl.He's got a track record of finding wronguns and falling in love with them.
You've basically seen a pic of her, where she's not smiling, and assumed from that (and the fact he has a bad history with women) she's a money-grabbing passport hound.
By all means tell your mate to be careful, as you would for any other relationship started on the net with people abroad.
But that's all you can do.
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