Condolences cards

[Reload]

Last night, something rather sad happened. Me and my girlfriend had called in on her Grandma on the way home from work and whilst we were there the elderly lady next door came round shouting for help. Her husband had had collapsed. It transpires that he'd suffered a massive heart attack. He had no pulse when we arrived, and doctors have said that at that time he was probably dead. On advice from the 999 operator I had to administer CPR which eventually after about 10 minutes brought back a pulse, albeit an extremely weak one. The ambulance arrived and I continued to administer CPR on their instruction, then the paramedic arrived and I stood back. They worked on him for half an hour but couldn't improve his condition, and unfortunately he passed away in intensive care late last night.

If I'm being honest it was awful. I don't scare easily, but last night I was terrified. His family watched on helpless.

Now I don't know the family at all, I'd never met any of them until last night - and it was hardly an introduction. My girlfriend knows them a bit, as they've lived next door to her Grandma for a long time.

So my question is, should we send the family a condolences card? I feel that I want to let them know how sorry I am that he didn't survive, despite everybody's efforts. But I don't know them, so would it appear a bit strange if we did? Or if we did send one, should we just put my girlfriend's name in?

Any advice appreciated.

[10 Pence Short]

Send one. I am sure it will be appreciated.

[mat13]

Definately send one, if someone had done that for one of my grandparents i would want to thank them.

[speedchick]

Aww how awful, my guy instinct says to send them a card from the pair of you (or include Grandma as well if you like), I am sure they appreciate what you tried to do, and would appreciate a card from you as well.

[Superficial]

I don't think it would be strange at all, especially considering how things transpired and you ended up being so involved. If you'd like to send one, definately do so.

Also, hope you are okay as I know being put in that situation can be very traumatic, especially if you don't know first aid, look after yourself.

[Reload]

Thank you for your advice - it seems pretty unanimous. I'll sort something out tomorrow.

Superficial said:

Also, hope you are okay as I know being put in that situation can be very traumatic, especially if you don't know first aid, look after yourself.

I am okay, thank you for your concern. Still a bit shocked about it all as I've never had to do anything like that in my life. I was drenched in sweat and absolutely knackered. My respect for the work that doctors and paramedics do every day has risen even further.

[The Black Flash]

Send one, definately.
It will be appreciated.

[alfa pint]

Definitely send one. My dad died last year rather suddenly and my mum appreciated every single letter and card that came in. If you write what you did and how you were involved, it would probably help you deal with some of the emotions too.

[Bad-Gerbil]

I'd send them a card.

Well done you for at least trying to save the bloke. Many would not have been willing to do it.

BG

[Reload]

alfa pint said:

If you write what you did and how you were involved, it would probably help you deal with some of the emotions too.

What, in the card? Or just write it down on paper or something? I wouldn't really want to make them re-live what they already had to watch to be honest.

[alfa pint]

Reload said:

alfa pint said:

If you write what you did and how you were involved, it would probably help you deal with some of the emotions too.

What, in the card? Or just write it down on paper or something? I wouldn't really want to make them re-live what they already had to watch to be honest.

Not the gory details! Just how you feel and that you'd done your best to try and revive him and feel gutted that it didn't work.

[Jasandjules]

I think they will be pleased to get a card from you, and in all honesty I think they might even want to say thank you for what you did.

It was good of you to step up to the plate when it was really needed, and you tried your best, so a virtual pint to you sir.

[JuniorD]

Good on you for stepping up and doing something incredible. At this stage do what ever feels right for you.

[Reload]

Thank you for your kind words. Appreciated.

The shock has worn off a bit today. It's strange - feels almost like it never happened. I suppose the adrenalin must have taken over.

We're going to drop a card off with the man's widow tonight. Currently trying to put into words how sorry we are - it's not the easiest thing to do really.