Where to call the line with threatining behaviour
Discussion
So many of you will remember the thread about a certain lady I worked with who had a long term boyfreind and she left him to be with me.
Now 4 months on, everything is fine and dandy with her and I, however the ex boyfreind has gone too far.
First it started with emails, to her, mostly lovey dovey crap, to be expected I said to her.
Then it was text messages, a bit annoying, but they will stop, I thought.
Then he turned up at her house demanding to talk to her. This is getting silly now I was thinking.
Then he turned up outside where we both work, I was with her and spotted him, he got on the bus straight away.
However now its gone from the borderline obsessive to violent, unpredictable and down right out of line. Last night he text her and said that he was going to kill me. He said he was waiting outside her house and if I wanted to have a go I should come out and try it, as I would die.
He was later arrested as he damaged her mothers car with something sharp, and also next doors car, and left loads of his business cards at the scene. So apart from the fact he has threatened to kill me, has commited vandalism, and what not, the police still can't do much I don't think...
What the f
k do I do? I've told her to get his number blocked, apparently o2 don't do it...
Aside from caving his head in (which wouldn't be difficult he's half my size) what do I do about this, as I'm worried for her walking around alone, and to be honest if he's carrying knives/screwdrivers I'm not overly keen on running into him either...
Any ideas?
ETA Sorry for the spelling fail in the title.
Now 4 months on, everything is fine and dandy with her and I, however the ex boyfreind has gone too far.
First it started with emails, to her, mostly lovey dovey crap, to be expected I said to her.
Then it was text messages, a bit annoying, but they will stop, I thought.
Then he turned up at her house demanding to talk to her. This is getting silly now I was thinking.
Then he turned up outside where we both work, I was with her and spotted him, he got on the bus straight away.
However now its gone from the borderline obsessive to violent, unpredictable and down right out of line. Last night he text her and said that he was going to kill me. He said he was waiting outside her house and if I wanted to have a go I should come out and try it, as I would die.
He was later arrested as he damaged her mothers car with something sharp, and also next doors car, and left loads of his business cards at the scene. So apart from the fact he has threatened to kill me, has commited vandalism, and what not, the police still can't do much I don't think...
What the f
k do I do? I've told her to get his number blocked, apparently o2 don't do it...Aside from caving his head in (which wouldn't be difficult he's half my size) what do I do about this, as I'm worried for her walking around alone, and to be honest if he's carrying knives/screwdrivers I'm not overly keen on running into him either...
Any ideas?
ETA Sorry for the spelling fail in the title.
Edited by okgo on Sunday 27th June 08:40
okgo said:
sday12 said:
send him an email?
Joking aside, I've sent him a long message a couple of weeks ago to try and get through to him, but it seems not to have worked...marshalla said:
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
He's in stage 2 and heading for 3.
Doesn't help you - but at least you know what's coming next.
To be fair its been a good chunk of time, I thought this, but he keeps going all over the place. Saying he has new women, and he's rid of the cheat etc, but then texts her every week when he's drunk. And this latest stunt is going too far.He's in stage 2 and heading for 3.
Doesn't help you - but at least you know what's coming next.
I forgot to mention he joined her gym that is nowhere near his house just to see/try and talk to her.
Ooh, he's scratched a couple of cars. That'll show her! 
The leaving of his business cards was genius - not the sharpest tool in the box is he?
The police already have this on file. Any escalation on his part would not go well and he knows it.
He's a pathetic, possessive coward.
Just ignore him completely and he'll go away.
The leaving of his business cards was genius - not the sharpest tool in the box is he?
The police already have this on file. Any escalation on his part would not go well and he knows it.
He's a pathetic, possessive coward.
Just ignore him completely and he'll go away.
okgo said:
Why do you think I should do that?
Sorry, I should have added that this is probably what I personally, would do: front him. Not saying you should. Mr Jilted is in living hell and won't stop until the right note is struck with him. This is best orchestrated by your OH. He needs to understand that it's over. End of.
I suffered a year as a DS in a DV team, so the police view is:
He's committing numerous criminal offences there - malicious communication, harassment, criminal damage, and threats to kill (not that that's an easy offence to get prosecuted). The escalation would probably qualify him as a medium risk offender on a domestic violence (DV) risk form.
Keep all the details of all the contacts, phone your local force, and tell them of your concerns. He should get lifted ASAP, and if he gets bail it will be with non-contact conditions. Breach these; and its remand in custody time.
He's committing numerous criminal offences there - malicious communication, harassment, criminal damage, and threats to kill (not that that's an easy offence to get prosecuted). The escalation would probably qualify him as a medium risk offender on a domestic violence (DV) risk form.
Keep all the details of all the contacts, phone your local force, and tell them of your concerns. He should get lifted ASAP, and if he gets bail it will be with non-contact conditions. Breach these; and its remand in custody time.
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