What is cheating?
Poll: What is cheating?
Total Members Polled: 447
Discussion
OK, for a guy with lots of female friends (or a girl with lots of male friends) who has got into a 'relationship' with a slightly jealous partner. What would you deem as cheating?
You have obviously had a friendship with the other persons for a while and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, how far can you go before it is deemed as cheating on your new partner?
It would be interesting to get different peoples views on this!
You have obviously had a friendship with the other persons for a while and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, how far can you go before it is deemed as cheating on your new partner?
It would be interesting to get different peoples views on this!
I'd say (from experience 
) that cheating is as much about the intent as the action.
Of that list above, a kiss on the cheek is the only non-sexual option. A hug could easily be more than 'mates'.
And I defy anyone to explain how a BJ or handjob could be considered anything BUT cheating?
) that cheating is as much about the intent as the action.Of that list above, a kiss on the cheek is the only non-sexual option. A hug could easily be more than 'mates'.
And I defy anyone to explain how a BJ or handjob could be considered anything BUT cheating?
Actually you've missed the real cheating off the list, that's giving someone else your heart ie switching your emotional attachment, seeking emotional support, confiding in, and seeking advice about important and personal matters, the other things are pretty meaningless as stand alone events.
What matters is how you feel about someone.
Kissing and dry humping, is pretty much what Hollywood Stars get paid to do.
What matters is how you feel about someone.
Kissing and dry humping, is pretty much what Hollywood Stars get paid to do.
goldblum said:
Poledriver -
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
rudecherub said:
Actually you've missed the real cheating off the list, that's giving someone else your heart ie switching your emotional attachment, seeking emotional support, confiding in, and seeking advice about important and personal matters, the other things are pretty meaningless as stand alone events.
That's really interesting!I didn't start this thread because of any problems with my relationship. I was talking with a friend about hoe jealous some people are.
Rudecherub... My OH and I have known each other for 31 years but have only 'got together' recently. What you described is the relationship which we have always had, despite having had partners at the time!
Poledriver said:
goldblum said:
Poledriver -
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
rudecherub said:
Actually you've missed the real cheating off the list, that's giving someone else your heart ie switching your emotional attachment, seeking emotional support, confiding in, and seeking advice about important and personal matters, the other things are pretty meaningless as stand alone events.
That's really interesting!I didn't start this thread because of any problems with my relationship. I was talking with a friend about hoe jealous some people are.
Rudecherub... My OH and I have known each other for 31 years but have only 'got together' recently. What you described is the relationship which we have always had, despite having had partners at the time!
I'm talking from experience my Ex left me and I was blind to the erosion in the relationship, my sister wasn't - she warned me saying the OH was talking about this work colleague too much, but I was like we're good, the physical side of things was fine - but I hadn't noticed ( too self absorbed, work, problems, in my own head ) that my partner was getting her emotional support from someone else.
IIRC research shows stare into someone's eyes, talk for around 30 mins sharing personal secrets and you'll start falling for them.
rudecherub said:
Poledriver said:
goldblum said:
Poledriver -
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
"and may do certain things which you've always regarded as innocent, "
uhoh
I'll bet there's big trouble brewing.
rudecherub said:
Actually you've missed the real cheating off the list, that's giving someone else your heart ie switching your emotional attachment, seeking emotional support, confiding in, and seeking advice about important and personal matters, the other things are pretty meaningless as stand alone events.
That's really interesting!I didn't start this thread because of any problems with my relationship. I was talking with a friend about hoe jealous some people are.
Rudecherub... My OH and I have known each other for 31 years but have only 'got together' recently. What you described is the relationship which we have always had, despite having had partners at the time!
I'm talking from experience my Ex left me and I was blind to the erosion in the relationship, my sister wasn't - she warned me saying the OH was talking about this work colleague too much, but I was like we're good, the physical side of things was fine - but I hadn't noticed ( too self absorbed, work, problems, in my own head ) that my partner was getting her emotional support from someone else.
IIRC research shows stare into someone's eyes, talk for around 30 mins sharing personal secrets and you'll start falling for them.
I'd find it easier to forgive a drunken shag than emotional cheating.
Interesting thread.
To the OP, I think all of those on your list would need something going on in one's head before the physical act. It also depends if there was anyone else, relationship wise for either party for it to be cheating.
Then, there are some people who do not believe that engaging is sexual acts with multiple partners (sometimes at once), is is any way cheating.
Parapaul, do you not think that something must have been going on for sometime in the head/heart of someone who has a quick drunken shag, prior to the event?
I do, & that's is where the "cheating" begins. The shag is merely the logical conclusion & outward act.
To the OP, I think all of those on your list would need something going on in one's head before the physical act. It also depends if there was anyone else, relationship wise for either party for it to be cheating.
Then, there are some people who do not believe that engaging is sexual acts with multiple partners (sometimes at once), is is any way cheating.
Parapaul, do you not think that something must have been going on for sometime in the head/heart of someone who has a quick drunken shag, prior to the event?
I do, & that's is where the "cheating" begins. The shag is merely the logical conclusion & outward act.
Totally agree on the 'mental' (sorry) side of cheating.
My ex still denies that she had an affair before our divorce. As far as she was concerned she hadn't been unfaithful as she claims not to have shagged him before then.
That was never the point for me. She had left our relationship long before as she was confiding in him/ texting/ going on long 'business' trips.
Even now, after 5 years, she still hasn't told her parents about her continuing relationship with this other man.
Guilt can shift the moral compass of the cheater, even without them knowing.
My ex still denies that she had an affair before our divorce. As far as she was concerned she hadn't been unfaithful as she claims not to have shagged him before then.
That was never the point for me. She had left our relationship long before as she was confiding in him/ texting/ going on long 'business' trips.
Even now, after 5 years, she still hasn't told her parents about her continuing relationship with this other man.
Guilt can shift the moral compass of the cheater, even without them knowing.
Edited by Hawmaws on Monday 26th July 08:38
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