What car for a lesbian with big norks
What car for a lesbian with big norks
Author
Discussion

Lord Pikey

Original Poster:

3,258 posts

245 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Right, now that i have your attention a good friend of mine is looking for her first car. Requirements are:

  • MUST be an Auto
  • Around 500 Notes
  • Within 50 miles of Guildford, Surrey
  • Preferably under 1.6 (insurance)
  • Ready to go (no work needed)
I have suggested far-east cars for reliability in this price bracket, but im willing to be corrected. What does the great PH massive suggest

She is actually a rug muncher so i haven't actually mislead you smile

Cheers

LP

VladD

8,199 posts

295 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Micra.

CaptainSlow

13,179 posts

242 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
my car

eta

she does have big norks right?

Edited by CaptainSlow on Thursday 29th July 14:49

patmahe

5,919 posts

234 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
VladD said:
Micra.
+1

Just be careful of rust in the sills towards the rear wheel arches, other than that they go on forever.

TuxRacer

13,938 posts

221 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
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500 notes? Can she afford to be fussy?

Does she have a man's hair cut?

Shaw Tarse

31,890 posts

233 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
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MX5
and
OXO etc

C8PPO

20,870 posts

233 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
If she's a pretend man, surely she can choose her own car?

Lord Pikey

Original Poster:

3,258 posts

245 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
TuxRacer said:
500 notes? Can she afford to be fussy?

Does she have a man's hair cut?
Kinda, She has a Auto licence, Not much cash to spend, cant travel far due to not having a car, has jsut passed her test and doesnt know much about cars to get stuff fixed...

No, she doesnt. Nice lady cut.

300bhp/ton

41,030 posts

220 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Lord Pikey said:
Right, now that i have your attention a good friend of mine is looking for her first car. Requirements are:

  • MUST be an Auto
  • Around 500 Notes
  • Within 50 miles of Guildford, Surrey
  • Preferably under 1.6 (insurance)
  • Ready to go (no work needed)
I have suggested far-east cars for reliability in this price bracket, but im willing to be corrected. What does the great PH massive suggest

She is actually a rug muncher so i haven't actually mislead you smile

Cheers

LP
small engine + auto box = horrid to drive in my experience.

How about looking for something with a bigger engine? Omega's are cheap as chips and well specced often.

neil_bolton

17,113 posts

294 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Lord Pikey said:
TuxRacer said:
500 notes? Can she afford to be fussy?

Does she have a man's hair cut?
Kinda, She has a Auto licence, Not much cash to spend, cant travel far due to not having a car, has jsut passed her test and doesnt know much about cars to get stuff fixed...

No, she doesnt. Nice lady cut.
Sorry mate, the Mods rules followed stringently are: no pics of said rug muncher, you get banned.

Sorry, but thems the rules.

Chop chop.

p.s. ropey auto MX5

TuxRacer

13,938 posts

221 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Ford Escort

TBH, there's very little choice.

dylan0451

1,040 posts

221 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
women may be different but:

when i were a lad, i managed to get a quote with the co-op for £1600 for my 1989 1.3 popular

all the others wanted between 2000 - 4000

stay away from escorts!

ExPat2B

2,159 posts

230 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
I tried to buy a car for the same price recently near Guildford. I ended up travelling to Lestershire.

Choice is very, very limted. The market place is an absolute disaster area at the moment, with dishonest traders and shoddy cars the rule rather than the exception. The condition of the market place has worsed severely since the scrappage scheme came into effect.

Someone once said on here that this was due to most people who took advantage of the scrappage scheme were middle class people who maintained their cars well. They were the people with free credit to buy the new cars. People who could not afford to maintain their cars could not take advantage of scrappage, and it is these unmaintained cars that have ended up on the market place. I bought an absolutely mint Saab 9000 a couple of years ago for 600 pounds with no dings, rust and FSH. There seem to be very very few cars on the market place like this now.

The majority of cars had problems like check engine lights, malfunctioning brakes, rust, bald tyres, damaged suspension, broken gearboxes, I checked 25 cars and found that 24 had faults that would immediately fail an MOT.

The one car I found without too many faults ( after 3 wasted days and 300 miles travel ) was a 1.5 2001 Kia Shuma. It had some rust, but I sorted that out and now it runs sweetly.

My advice is as follows :

You need to be prepared to compromise on mileage. 100,000 miles in great condition with FSH is far prefereable to 60,000 miles in poor condition with no service history.

You need to have the car on ramps or up on jacks and checked by a *professional*

You need to be extremely careful about cambelts....many cars are sold when they are due the cambelt as it beyond economical repair.

You need a proper test drive, with hard accelleration, motorway speeds, and 70-0 braking tests, also try to corner hard and hit a pothole, this normally exposes suspension issues. Not a roll around a council estate.

My final piece of advice is to increase the budget. 1000 pounds buys you a Skoda 1.4 Fabia, which is an excellent small car and available with auto. I looked at two of these in the guildfgord area and was satisfied with condition of both. You need the 16v version, early 8v versions had headgasket problems. I would strongly advise going down this route as even a new set of tyres and brakes on a 500 pounds car could push the price up to 1000 very easily.



jb9193

809 posts

197 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
HAHA - "500 Notes", "Big Norks"

smile

OnTheOverrun

3,965 posts

207 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
Make sure there's plenty of room round the pedals for her excessively large clumpy boots and avoid Golf GTi's so the tartan seats don't clash with her check lumberjack shirt and dungarees and you'll be OK with most things! biggrin

PS - Howabout this:

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2010...


jb9193

809 posts

197 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
OnTheOverrun said:
Make sure there's plenty of room round the pedals for her excessively large clumpy boots and avoid Golf GTi's so the tartan seats don't clash with her check lumberjack shirt and dungarees and you'll be OK with most things! biggrin
HAHA this thread is proving to be good entertainment whilst I'm off work ill. Thanks LOL biggrin

Dracoro

9,026 posts

275 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
300bhp/ton said:
Lord Pikey said:
Right, now that i have your attention a good friend of mine is looking for her first car. Requirements are:

  • MUST be an Auto
  • Around 500 Notes
  • Within 50 miles of Guildford, Surrey
  • Preferably under 1.6 (insurance)
  • Ready to go (no work needed)
I have suggested far-east cars for reliability in this price bracket, but im willing to be corrected. What does the great PH massive suggest

She is actually a rug muncher so i haven't actually mislead you smile

Cheers

LP
small engine + auto box = horrid to drive in my experience.

How about looking for something with a bigger engine? Omega's are cheap as chips and well specced often.
Insurance will be a problem.

Running costs could be an issue. Trust me, I know! biggrin My Elite was supposed to be a cheap daily hack with a sports car to spend money on. As it turns out, it's the other way round, the S2000 never goes wrong (touch wood) and very cheap to run but the Omega......

That said, there are things I would spend money on (just had front suspension all done, tope end rebuilt etc.) but many people might "live" with these type of things and decide, come MOT time, whether to sort or not if it fails. An Omega may be a bit big for someone who has recently passed their test.

Regardless for £500 you need to be looking at condition etc. not get too hung up on particular cars/models. Whatever you buy at £500 is pot-luck as to whether you get a good one without doing a LOT of checks (who does with £500 motors??!!). A lot easier search with double the budget I'd say....


Edited by Dracoro on Thursday 29th July 15:35

Spleeble

333 posts

232 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
My car, I know its in MK but I could probably sort out delivery and willing to negotiate on price.

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/1890760.htm

Arese

21,350 posts

217 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
OnTheOverrun said:
Make sure there's plenty of room round the pedals for her excessively large clumpy boots and avoid Golf GTi's so the tartan seats don't clash with her check lumberjack shirt and dungarees and you'll be OK with most things! biggrin
laugh

Carfolio

1,124 posts

211 months

Thursday 29th July 2010
quotequote all
smart Roadster? No idea what they fetch though...