People with no self concience....
Discussion
OK, I've just been over to the sandwich shop about 5 mins from where I work. In the place you have the counter straight ahead and a table to your left with 4 seats around it.
A woman gets served her sandwich and takes a seat to eat it while the rest of us (about 6 people) are waiting in the queue to be served.
A couple of minutes pass and I turn, looking at the woman sitting gorging her face on this HUGE sandwich she has just bought and she is wearing half of it as a beard,s o I start to snigger to myself quietly and turn away, trying to keep the facial expressions to myself.
Another couple of minutes pass and I hear a rumbling noise, rather like a really wet fart from that direction, it lasts about 3 seconds. "surely it can't be?" goes through my head, so I turn to look at her and she is just sitting normally scoffing her lunch. She then rears up onto one cheek and lets rip another, this time even longer, I'm sure a little bit of poo came out this time.
Her expression doesn't change and she just nestle back down and starts to eat her sandwich again.
Now this made me chuckle. Quite a lot actually and I tried as best as I could to keep it in, up to the point my face felt like it was going to burst. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and now, I'm thinking about it.
I start to laugh harder. My shoulders started to bob up and down and I let out a little outward snort. The thing is, there were two girls, one in front of me and one behind, both quite good looking and the one in front kept on turning round and looking at me, with my big inflated beetroot coloured head, shoulders bobbing and now tears starting to form in my eyes then roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold it any longer it was starting to hurt, then all of a sudden a roar came from my mouth BAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHA, it lasted about 1 second before I realised what I was doing then shut up.
I was clearly more embarrassed than the farter who decided it was a good idea to get up, walk to the counter, buy a slice of quiche and leave.
I've still got a bad head from the pressure build up.
A woman gets served her sandwich and takes a seat to eat it while the rest of us (about 6 people) are waiting in the queue to be served.
A couple of minutes pass and I turn, looking at the woman sitting gorging her face on this HUGE sandwich she has just bought and she is wearing half of it as a beard,s o I start to snigger to myself quietly and turn away, trying to keep the facial expressions to myself.
Another couple of minutes pass and I hear a rumbling noise, rather like a really wet fart from that direction, it lasts about 3 seconds. "surely it can't be?" goes through my head, so I turn to look at her and she is just sitting normally scoffing her lunch. She then rears up onto one cheek and lets rip another, this time even longer, I'm sure a little bit of poo came out this time.
Her expression doesn't change and she just nestle back down and starts to eat her sandwich again.
Now this made me chuckle. Quite a lot actually and I tried as best as I could to keep it in, up to the point my face felt like it was going to burst. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and now, I'm thinking about it.
I start to laugh harder. My shoulders started to bob up and down and I let out a little outward snort. The thing is, there were two girls, one in front of me and one behind, both quite good looking and the one in front kept on turning round and looking at me, with my big inflated beetroot coloured head, shoulders bobbing and now tears starting to form in my eyes then roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold it any longer it was starting to hurt, then all of a sudden a roar came from my mouth BAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHA, it lasted about 1 second before I realised what I was doing then shut up.
I was clearly more embarrassed than the farter who decided it was a good idea to get up, walk to the counter, buy a slice of quiche and leave.
I've still got a bad head from the pressure build up.
Edited by WorAl on Thursday 5th August 13:28
Greg_D said:
brilliant, that sounds almost as funny as that time i saw a fatty fall down some stairs outside the cinema, i had to stop the car and recover from that one, it took about 10 minutes until i could drive the car safely again.
Greg
The last time that happened to me I was listening to a Kevin "Bloody" Wilson CD for the first time in the car. When he started "Do You F**K on first dates?" that was it. Had to pull over and laugh for a bit.Greg
Overwieght people are humans you know. They gave the same feelings of hurt, and pain and everyone else of the so called "normal" people like you. 
It's always them that are the butt of jokes and pathetic little sniggers from the general public. It makes me sad that just because they have gland problems you have to mock them instead of treating them as you would a slimmer person.
Saying that, fat bastids are usually lazy, stupid and a waste of space. There certainly quite easy to mock, just look at CVM thread about chicken boy!
It's always them that are the butt of jokes and pathetic little sniggers from the general public. It makes me sad that just because they have gland problems you have to mock them instead of treating them as you would a slimmer person.
Saying that, fat bastids are usually lazy, stupid and a waste of space. There certainly quite easy to mock, just look at CVM thread about chicken boy!
Once me and my friend had just smoked some weed and were going to head off to the cinema.
We agreed that we had to act sensible.
We step outside my door and within 2 seconds some guy just falls over.. Falls flat on his face.
We go from talking quite normally to total silence while walking. A transition that he no doubt noticed.
We're holding in our laughter as hard as we can and our faces resembled that of someone who just sucked on some snake venom.
The second we pass him we start laughing, as if being behind us makes it impossible to hear.
2 minutes later and we're sitting waiting for the bus, again trying to be sensible, when a drunk fat woman walks head first into the glass of the bus stop.
Again stifled laughter, red faces, tears with no sign of sadness.
It seems the world was against us in our quest to "Act sensible"..
We agreed that we had to act sensible.
We step outside my door and within 2 seconds some guy just falls over.. Falls flat on his face.
We go from talking quite normally to total silence while walking. A transition that he no doubt noticed.
We're holding in our laughter as hard as we can and our faces resembled that of someone who just sucked on some snake venom.
The second we pass him we start laughing, as if being behind us makes it impossible to hear.
2 minutes later and we're sitting waiting for the bus, again trying to be sensible, when a drunk fat woman walks head first into the glass of the bus stop.
Again stifled laughter, red faces, tears with no sign of sadness.
It seems the world was against us in our quest to "Act sensible"..
WorAl said:
OK, I've just been over to the sandwich shop about 5 mins from where I work. In the place you have the counter straight ahead and a table to your left with 4 seats around it.
A woman gets served her sandwich and takes a seat to eat it while the rest of us (about 6 people) are waiting in the queue to be served.
A couple of minutes pass and I turn, looking at the woman sitting gorging her face on this HUGE sandwich she has just bought and she is wearing half of it as a beard,s o I start to snigger to myself quietly and turn away, trying to keep the facial expressions to myself.
Another couple of minutes pass and I hear a rumbling noise, rather like a really wet fart from that direction, it lasts about 3 seconds. "surely it can't be?" goes through my head, so I turn to look at her and she is just sitting normally scoffing her lunch. She then rears up onto one cheek and lets rip another, this time even longer, I'm sure a little bit of poo came out this time.
Her expression doesn't change and she just nestle back down and starts to eat her sandwich again.
Now this made me chuckle. Quite a lot actually and I tried as best as I could to keep it in, up to the point my face felt like it was going to burst. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and now, because I'm thinking about it.
I start to laugh harder. My shoulders started to bob up and down and I let out a little outward snort. The thing is, there were two girls, one in front of me and one behind, both quite good looking and the one in front kept on turning round and looking at me, with my big inflated beetroot coloured head, shoulders bobbing and now tears starting to form in my eyes then roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold it any longer it was starting to hurt, then all of a sudden a roar came from my mouth BAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHA, it lasted about 1 second before I realised what I was doing then shut up.
I was clearly more embarrassed than the farter who decided it was a good idea to get up, walk to the counter, buy a slice of quiche and leave.
I've still got a bad head from the pressure build up.
A woman gets served her sandwich and takes a seat to eat it while the rest of us (about 6 people) are waiting in the queue to be served.
A couple of minutes pass and I turn, looking at the woman sitting gorging her face on this HUGE sandwich she has just bought and she is wearing half of it as a beard,s o I start to snigger to myself quietly and turn away, trying to keep the facial expressions to myself.
Another couple of minutes pass and I hear a rumbling noise, rather like a really wet fart from that direction, it lasts about 3 seconds. "surely it can't be?" goes through my head, so I turn to look at her and she is just sitting normally scoffing her lunch. She then rears up onto one cheek and lets rip another, this time even longer, I'm sure a little bit of poo came out this time.
Her expression doesn't change and she just nestle back down and starts to eat her sandwich again.
Now this made me chuckle. Quite a lot actually and I tried as best as I could to keep it in, up to the point my face felt like it was going to burst. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and now, because I'm thinking about it.
I start to laugh harder. My shoulders started to bob up and down and I let out a little outward snort. The thing is, there were two girls, one in front of me and one behind, both quite good looking and the one in front kept on turning round and looking at me, with my big inflated beetroot coloured head, shoulders bobbing and now tears starting to form in my eyes then roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold it any longer it was starting to hurt, then all of a sudden a roar came from my mouth BAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHA, it lasted about 1 second before I realised what I was doing then shut up.
I was clearly more embarrassed than the farter who decided it was a good idea to get up, walk to the counter, buy a slice of quiche and leave.
I've still got a bad head from the pressure build up.
Truely some of the most accurately detailed and illustrating sentences I've read on PH since that post in the "men groaning in the toilets" thread. Well done sir! 
I don't think i would have waited for my order.Greg_D said:
brilliant, that sounds almost as funny as that time i saw a fatty fall down some stairs outside the cinema, i had to stop the car and recover from that one, it took about 10 minutes until i could drive the car safely again.
Greg
I have just had a good laugh at my desk, as this made me remember the time I was drive through a town center and a fatty with one hand in his pocket and drinking a milkshake with the other. He misjudged the height of the kerb and fell over, using the milkshake as a kinda of strawberry filled air bag for his face. I too had to pull over the let the laughs out Greg
KrazyIvan said:
I have just had a good laugh at my desk, as this made me remember the time I was drive through a town center and a fatty with one hand in his pocket and drinking a milkshake with the other. He misjudged the height of the kerb and fell over, using the milkshake as a kinda of strawberry filled air bag for his face. I too had to pull over the let the laughs out
I think I'd nearly have wet myself.AS to the OP, I guess some people don't care, either that or her hearing aid was switched off....
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff