sad day

[B0LLIKS]

i have just been told an ex partener of mine has died suddenly, which even though it has been 8 years since we split up and i have not seen her since, the news totaly knocked me for six, would it seem inconsiderate not to go to the funeral, not because of any bad feelings but just because it would be too hard and upsetting for me to take.

[magnus911]

Bit difficult to judge really without knowing the dynamics of the relationship.

Were you close to her family at all>

[Eric Mc]

If you could be sure that your springing up out of "history" wouldn't cause any upset, I would be inclined to send a condolence card rather than turn up in person.

[plg]

Tricky one. Similar thing happened to my wife this summer - her ex died suddenly.

Decided in the end to send flowers to the funeral, write a letter to the family but not to attend. She is going to see the parents in a few weeks once they have had some space, but not seeing his widow.

Tricky one either way, no straightforward answer. Depends on the dynamics, your relationship with the family and I guess how they might perceive you. Is there someone in the family you could talk with - brother / sister / cousin that you could sound out?

Sorry for your loss.

[B0LLIKS]

hi, i work with her brother in law, thats who told me about it. thing is i should have no real feelings of sadness, as she traded me in for a newer model about half my (and her) age, and after 8 years, time should have erased the memory of the time we had. all her friends and family were at a loss to why we split up, so was i. all that happend was one night she just said 'i dont want to be with you anymore' that was it. after a few days of trying to ask why, and what have i done, all to no avail, i just though 'ok one person happy is better than two sad' so i packed my bags and left. soon after she sold the house and that was it, i never seen her again.

[Eric Mc]

B0LLIKS said:

hi, i work with her brother in law, thats who told me about it. thing is i should have no real feelings of sadness, as she traded me in for a newer model about half my (and her) age, and after 8 years, time should have erased the memory of the time we had. all her friends and family were at a loss to why we split up, so was i. all that happend was one night she just said 'i dont want to be with you anymore' that was it. after a few days of trying to ask why, and what have i done, all to no avail, i just though 'ok one person happy is better than two sad' so i packed my bags and left. soon after she sold the house and that was it, i never seen her again.

Don't even send a card.

[soad]

B0LLIKS said:

thing is i should have no real feelings of sadness

But you still have some feelings though?
Probably best not to go - but only you can decide that.

[Jasandjules]

A card to her parents then....

[freecar]

Eric Mc said:

B0LLIKS said:

hi, i work with her brother in law, thats who told me about it. thing is i should have no real feelings of sadness, as she traded me in for a newer model about half my (and her) age, and after 8 years, time should have erased the memory of the time we had. all her friends and family were at a loss to why we split up, so was i. all that happend was one night she just said 'i dont want to be with you anymore' that was it. after a few days of trying to ask why, and what have i done, all to no avail, i just though 'ok one person happy is better than two sad' so i packed my bags and left. soon after she sold the house and that was it, i never seen her again.

Don't even send a card.

This, harsh but you weren't wanted, to make contact now would seem like you're not over this decision.

[B0LLIKS]

yes i think maybe best not to go, i will just send some flowers and a card. shame this happend right now as this is the start of my holls and i was going to look for a new car, dont feel like it now.

[cal72]

B0LLIKS said:

yes i think maybe best not to go, i will just send some flowers and a card. shame this happend right now as this is the start of my holls and i was going to look for a new car, dont feel like it now.

Life goes on.

[GKP]

Are you likely to be mentioned in the Will?



Oooh, I know!

[Justin French]

Sorry for the bad news, chap. IMO just send a card and flowers and pour yourself a drink.

All the best.

J

[GTIR]

I'd go, just to say goodbye.

You'll regret it if you don't.

[TotalControl]

GTIR said:

I'd go, just to say goodbye.

You'll regret it if you don't.

Or he could just go to the grave afterwards on his own.

[Si_steve]

TotalControl said:

GTIR said:

I'd go, just to say goodbye.

You'll regret it if you don't.

Or he could just go to the grave afterwards on his own.

This, Past relationship or not she was still part of your life at one point.

[ali_kat]

How long were the 2 of you together?
How do you feel about her death?
Will your sudden re-appearance at her funeral cause the one she dies loving any pain?

Suggest you discuss with the BiL

[GTIR]

ali_kat said:

Will your sudden re-appearance at her funeral cause the one she dies loving any pain?

That's it, rub it in!

[B0LLIKS]

hi, i dont think me turning up will cause any problems, its more the fact of me making a fool of my self by bursting out in floods of tears as i know i will.

[drivin_me_nuts]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Probably what I would do. Say your goodbyes if you need and want to. Don't go if you don't feel the need. Do what's right for you - there's no protocol / rules for situations like this.