Death of a (distant) school friend... a dilemma

[Bob Fossil]

The initial message was deleted from this topic on 05 August 2013 at 22:16

[Dixie68]

Go, why not? It would be a chance to reminisce with the friends and family.

[Chilli]

It wouldn't hurt to pay your respects, without pretending you really miss him, like a brother. These occasions are always sad, but it would be nice for the family to see a nice turnout, I guess.
Is there no-one else you "know" in the same boat?

[Ferg]

I think that just because you don't see someone for a while it doesn't mean you're not still a 'friend'. Funerals are not for the dead anyway and I hope my funeral is well attended for the sake of my family...

[Blukoo]

Would you be miffed if he never bothered going to your funeral?
I know you wouldn't know, but think hypothetically.

[Gusanita]

I had a similar situation last year. I decided not to go to the funeral because I felt that my deceased friend would have preferred it if I didn't go as he didn't get on with his family.

However, I would like to reminisce over old times with someone who knew him so I think a reunion sounds like a good idea.

[Andy Zarse]

I'd go out of curiosity if nothing else.

Plus there's always the chance of running into that hot little redhead with the lisp and a wooden leg you used to fancy at school.

[raf_gti]

I'd say trust your gut instinct on this one, there is no real right or wrong answer.

I'd say attending the funeral, IMO, is more important than a gathering but that is the way I look at such things.

[Jasandjules]

Frankly, IME of family funerals, they are simply an opportunity for people to have a catch-up.

So if you want to go and see some old mates and pay your respects, then go along. The family will NOT complain at you for going, in fact I think they would be pleased to see friends from long ago paying their respects.

[soad]

I'd go myself. Won't do any harm

[Tiggsy]

10 years and nothing...then you roll up now he's dead? Rent a movie, stay home.

[Mr Trophy]

Although it's a horrible situation, something good may come from it...

I'd say go, what have you got to lose?

[Pothole]

Ignore Tiggsy. Go.

[no1special]

I haven't seen some old school mates for 16 years. I'd still go to their funeral and still consider them friends. Just my opinion, but I'd go. You may regret it if you don't, even if it's just to say goodbye.

Edited for spelling. iPhones fault!

Edited by no1special on Wednesday 8th September 19:59

[Carlique]

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, even though you weren't close, a friend is still a friend. And secondly, if it was me then I'd go, as you can't really lose out. It'll be comforting for his family and who knows, you may even reconnect with your old pals and have a good day out, reminiscing/bantering about old times.

[Frankeh]

There's people I haven't seen for 3+ years and I'd still spark up a conversation with them and consider them a friend if I bumped into them.

If you found out he died then you're probably close enough with him to go to his funeral.

[NiceCupOfTea]

I'd go too. We *all* have friends we have lost contact with over the years - the older you get, the longer it seems to be acceptable to go without contact! Saw a guy who is probably my best friend the other night and I don't think I've seen him for nearly a year!

[bazking69]

Why not if he was a good friend at one point and you want to.

But what I always ask myself is if they would come to my funeral if they knew. I've swerved a few funerals of old faces on this basis.

[thatone1967]

If you don't go... you will never know... and may spend the rest of your life regretting it....

[grumpy]

Why don't you go on the internet and let a bunch of strangers make you mind up for you?