Discussion
Nearly 8 years, gone in just two weeks.
After my accident and time in prison, I thought I'd dealt with it. Truth is, I was't the same person and blocked out everyone who cared about me.
It's taken 3 years, but I eventually wore Jilly down until she had nothing left to give. She hasn't even got the energy to spend time apart to heal.
Anyway, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to trust loved ones to spread the load, rather than thinking you're protecting them by keeping things to yourself.
Sorry for the ramble.
After my accident and time in prison, I thought I'd dealt with it. Truth is, I was't the same person and blocked out everyone who cared about me.
It's taken 3 years, but I eventually wore Jilly down until she had nothing left to give. She hasn't even got the energy to spend time apart to heal.
Anyway, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to trust loved ones to spread the load, rather than thinking you're protecting them by keeping things to yourself.
Sorry for the ramble.
10 Pence Short said:
Nearly 8 years, gone in just two weeks.
After my accident and time in prison, I thought I'd dealt with it. Truth is, I was't the same person and blocked out everyone who cared about me.
It's taken 3 years, but I eventually wore Jilly down until she had nothing left to give. She hasn't even got the energy to spend time apart to heal.
Anyway, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to trust loved ones to spread the load, rather than thinking you're protecting them by keeping things to yourself.
Sorry for the ramble.
Worse I want penny-lope's phone number thread evah. After my accident and time in prison, I thought I'd dealt with it. Truth is, I was't the same person and blocked out everyone who cared about me.
It's taken 3 years, but I eventually wore Jilly down until she had nothing left to give. She hasn't even got the energy to spend time apart to heal.
Anyway, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to trust loved ones to spread the load, rather than thinking you're protecting them by keeping things to yourself.
Sorry for the ramble.
Seriously though, sorry for your bad news. Hope things will get better soon.
That's a real s
tter, sorry to hear it.
There's no point saying the usual 'plenty more fish etc' because that means nothing right now.
You sound like you're not too cut up though, could it be that the guilty part within you is happy she's left so she can get on with her life?
Just spend some time getting your head together, then get back out on the market.
edit: Oh, and as you may have more spare time now (furious w**king over internet porn aside), you could always get the diary updated. I'll stick it up on the blog if you do. Not being uncaring, i just think it may be therapeutic. Plus there are literally thousands who would like to read the final entries. May i also suggest maybe writing some follow up entries, describing your life after prison, the adjustments you've had to make, how it has affected the rest of your life since etc? Let's call it Book 2.
tter, sorry to hear it.There's no point saying the usual 'plenty more fish etc' because that means nothing right now.
You sound like you're not too cut up though, could it be that the guilty part within you is happy she's left so she can get on with her life?
Just spend some time getting your head together, then get back out on the market.
edit: Oh, and as you may have more spare time now (furious w**king over internet porn aside), you could always get the diary updated. I'll stick it up on the blog if you do. Not being uncaring, i just think it may be therapeutic. Plus there are literally thousands who would like to read the final entries. May i also suggest maybe writing some follow up entries, describing your life after prison, the adjustments you've had to make, how it has affected the rest of your life since etc? Let's call it Book 2.
Edited by Beefmeister on Tuesday 21st September 13:46
I love her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything. I don't know what hurts the most; that she was hurting and couldn't tell me for so long, or that I'll never get chance to put it right.
I'm not too proud to admit I've cried, begged and cried some more asking her to have a break then start from scratch, but she hasn't got it in her to do it.
She's been my partner, my best friend and my life for such a long time. I know I have to move on, but damn it hurts.
I'm not too proud to admit I've cried, begged and cried some more asking her to have a break then start from scratch, but she hasn't got it in her to do it.
She's been my partner, my best friend and my life for such a long time. I know I have to move on, but damn it hurts.
Really sorry to hear this. I can understand that this may have worn her down over time, however, you've needed to deal with this in your own way. I agree with the above regarding taking time on your own to figure things out yourself. It'll happen, and maybe this time will do you some good to work it out.
10 Pence Short said:
I love her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything. I don't know what hurts the most; that she was hurting and couldn't tell me for so long, or that I'll never get chance to put it right.
I'm not too proud to admit I've cried, begged and cried some more asking her to have a break then start from scratch, but she hasn't got it in her to do it.
She's been my partner, my best friend and my life for such a long time. I know I have to move on, but damn it hurts.
Is that a lump in my throat or am I just pleas.... Nope, it's a lump.I'm not too proud to admit I've cried, begged and cried some more asking her to have a break then start from scratch, but she hasn't got it in her to do it.
She's been my partner, my best friend and my life for such a long time. I know I have to move on, but damn it hurts.
So sorry to read this, 10PS, really, really sad news
King Herald said:
10 Pence Short said:
.....It's taken 3 years, but I eventually wore Jilly down until she had nothing left to give. She hasn't even got the energy to spend time apart to heal......
What's with all the self-blame stuff??? 
As she said, she's been the only one putting into the relationship and I've just drifted.
The real irony is that I didn't realise how up my own arse I'd become, until I'd gone past her breaking point. It's such a relief to feel so different about everybody now, and such a frustration that she doesn't believe someone can 'snap out of it' so quickly.
That she took so much effort to pluck up the courage to say something is damning in itself, but it's made worse because to do that, she had to prepare herself that the decision was made before she told me. She can't now retract all that effort she screwed herself up for.
It's horrible because it's so clear, I know what I would have to do, but it's gone past the point where she would let me.
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