419 eater eat your heart out.

[wildoliver]

Just logged on to yahoo chat to see if a friend was on, got a friend request from James here.

I do love having fun with scammers.

James Bills
BUZZ!!!
Online
James Bills has signed back in.

James Bills
hello....
wildoliver
whos this
James Bills
im james from match..
how are you doing
wildoliver
match?
James Bills
yes..
wildoliver
jj
James Bills
what do you mean by that?
wildoliver
an oompa loompa?
James Bills
what does that mean?
wildoliver
the fly is in the pie

James Bills
oh ok..
so how are you doing..
wildoliver
i'm waiting for the link you want me to go to
James Bills
oh ok..
im james and you??
wildoliver
i'm a bot
just like u
James Bills
what do you mean by a bot
wildoliver
im assuming you to be a bot that has added me then will send me an amazing link i must click on to see a picture of your sister showering or some equally boring nonsese

James Bills
im not that type ok...
wildoliver
sogo on then what is match and why was i lucky enough to be chosen at random
James Bills
cause you are a lucky woman..
my name is james and whats your name??
wildoliver
pmsl
whats my yahoo name
James Bills
wildoliver
i like your name?
were are you from??
wildoliver
and with a name like oliver, what sort of woman do you think i am
James Bills
i dont know?


wildoliver
hmm
what nationality are you
James Bills
American..you
wildoliver
then when was the last time you met a woman called oliver?
James Bills
never
wildoliver
tada
James Bills
ok'
are you married?

wildoliver
im a bloke you prat. no boobs, just a cock and 2 balls, you haven't met me at "match" because I'm not at "match" and we live several thousand miles away. God where did the brains go when britons moved to america
James Bills
ok
so cant we be friends
wildoliver
are you going to come out for a beer with me
James Bills
yes ..that will be great
wildoliver
ok, jump on the next plane to humberside airport uk, I'll meet you there and we can go out round hull. The flights about 12 hours from memory and depending where you are in the US, so best set off at around 6am, of course it will also cost you around $1000 but hey it's a beer right!
James Bills
i dont have such an amount of money now...i only have 500 now

wildoliver
oh well i suppose you'd like me to send the rest?
James Bills
yes if you can?
BUZZ!!!
wildoliver
i'll tell you what, you send me your 500 and i'll buy the ticket this end
James Bills
do you know what..i dont want to disturb you ok...i would like you to send it to me so that i can get it my self ok..
wildoliver
no no it's fine, i'm quite bored anyway.
James Bills
ok do you agree now

wildoliver
yeah pop the money in a jiffy bag and send it over, and i'll go out on the pis........I mean sort your ticket out
James Bills
ok i will but i have to tell you something..i have collected some money from my brother in Ghana here..i will use that one for the ticket so that i will give you the address for you to send my brother 500 dollars in Ghana ok..do you understand..
taht will be very easy
wildoliver
oh yeah great idea
i'll pop in an extra 50 dollars for him
James Bills
ok..
thanks...
16:18do you know what let me give you the address so that you can send the money to my brother today cause i think he will need them ok....i will talk to him on the hpone that you are going to send him the money

[Scott330ci]

: |

[T84]

Sorry, that was awful.

[wildoliver]

Next installment


ames Bills
ok..
thanks...
do you know what let me give you the address so that you can send the money to my brother today cause i think he will need them ok....i will talk to him on the hpone that you are going to send him the money
let me give you the address ok
BUZZ!!!
wildoliver
ok


James Bills
Name:Isaac Frimpong
Country:West Africa Ghana
city:Accra
zipcode:00233
wildoliver
ok i'm just writing the address on the envelope
James Bills
here is the address go to western unoin and send hi the money ok...
ok
wildoliver
I just need to check my bank, i need to know i've got the money in there
i'm a soldier and my pay is sporadic


James Bills
ok
ok
send the moeny today ok....cause im going to let him now that you are going to send the money today ok...
wildoliver
yeah no problem
oh hang on small problem
James Bills
i hope you hav written the address
if you send the money live me an offline message of the infromation so that i can tell my brother that you have send him the money..


wildoliver
yes, you should be aware i am a starfighter general in the united army of west yorkshire, so i am an honorable man, i was recently out in afghanistan fighting the custard test tribe, while out there i discovered a large cache of money in the boot of an mx5, i hid it in my own car (a mapped bmw)
James Bills
oh that great...
wildoliver
now the trouble is my bank account is empty and to get this cash out of my boot i need to get a locksmith round, the trouble is i cant pay him as i have no cash! He will charge me $100 to open the car and will want paying up front by western union

[wildoliver]

Yes I am very bored, anyone with any requests please post them here, i suspect he may get wise soon lol

[Flintstone]

Oh look, over there. Something interesting.

[Original Poster]

I get them all the time and always play along..

Here is my most recent one -




The first email from him to me...

Compliments of the day,

My name is Mr Wong Tang Yu Director of operations, Hang Seng
Bank Hong Kong. I am contacting you with a business proposal that
will be of benefit to both of us.

I intend to transfer a total of 6.5 (Million US Dollars) to you. This money
initially belongs to a client who died and had no next of kin in his
account-opening package. Most importantly, I will require a confirmation
of acceptance from you after which I shall furnish you with the full details
of this transaction.

Email me at: [e-mail]

Regards,
Mr Wong Tang.





My reply -





Dear Mr Wong Tang,


Firstly, thank you for your kind email, sometimes god graces us with lavishly good luck and today is clearly my day.

It would be an absolute pleasure to aid the transaction of 6.5 million US dollars, funnily enough, I have just booked a 2 week break to Orlando, Florida so the dollars will certainly save me a trip to the post office to change currency, given the current exchange and the state of the British pound it is a task that most definitely does not bring a smile on my face.

What are the next steps in order to complete the transaction in a timely manner Mr Tang? Would I have to travel over to Hong Kong to meet with yourself to discuss the business deal? The only problem is my dog is very sick and needs my attention for the vast majority of the day so traveling over to Hong Kong would be difficult. If it is absolutely necessary to travel over I can leave my dog in the local kennel, although not the last kennel he went into as they clipped his nails totally wrong, the poor dog was walking like John Wayne for a week.

I look forward to hearing back from you Mr Tang and hope we can do business in a timely fashion and both make good money out of the transaction.

Kindest Regards,
Chris






His reply to me -



Dear Chris Chaney,

I must thank you very much for sparing your good time to respond to the business proposal that will benefit both parties at the end. Be assured, this transaction is risk free and a very genuine business.

Once again, I am Mr. Wong Tang Yu, Director of Operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Sai Wan Ho Branch, Hong Kong and I am a 51 year old looking forward to retirement with an intention of investing in a profitable venture in your country like real estate and estate properties.

SOURCE OF FUNDS...

Before the U.S and Iraqi war, our client Mr. Sadeq Ja'afar Hussain popularly known as Hassan Hussain who was an Iraqi business man, made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of $6,500,000 (Six million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) only in my branch. Upon maturity, several notices were sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war, another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later found out that our client and his family had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home. Please visit the links below for further verification;

http://www.iraqbodycount.org/d.....ls/page202

After further investigation, it was also discovered that Mr. Sadeq Ja'afar Hussain did not declare any next of kin in his official papers, including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office, which no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, $6,500,000 (Six million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) is still lying in my bank, and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the to the laws of my country, at the expiration of 3 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government, if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Sadeq Ja'afar Hussain so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Mr. Sadeq Ja'afar Hussain, all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names, contact Address and a valid copy of your identification documents (International passport or driver´s license) so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account which you will be setting up in Europe. There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method, and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.

Meanwhile, for the assistance you shall render me I will offer you 50% of total amount. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated. Please always remember to send me email with the code: [CODE NO: AM-002]. This is strictly for security reasons.

Kind Regards
Mr. Wong Tang Yu.





My reply -




Hi Mr Tang,

Thanks for your swift response, I suppose working in a bank in your location involves such long hours hence why you can reply with such pace, the people at my local bank are rather lazy, they tend to open up the branch at around 9.30am and close at 4.30pm, I presume the bank manager is a woman and cannot handle working for any great length of time unlike a man, I have put in complaint after complaint about the opening hours but to no avail unfortunately, despite their TV adverts saying they "listen to customers"....What hours do you work Mr Tang?

I have scanned my driving license in to this email which you can kindly find attached for your attorney, along with my home address. Unfortunately providing my passport details was not an option as I was involved in an incident involving a very famous black American actor and several snakes on the plane we were commuting on, long story short is I had my passport revoked, I shall not bore you with the details though.

My full home address and name are below -

Mr Roy Venables T/A Chris Chaney

229 Bulging Avenue
Long Sutton Cross
Jespersworth
West Midlands
C11 NTT


If you need any further details just let me know Mr Tang, I will be happy to help.

Kind Regards,
Chris

[wildoliver]

James Bills
you have cause if i dont my brother will be angry ok...
you dont
wildoliver
well if you can send $100 by western union then I can get the car open and then can reimburse your brother his $500 and I'll send him another $500 to thiank you both, I'll be a millionaire so I won't miss the money.
James Bills
do you knwo what borrow from somebody....i will pay you in 2 days time ok..cause all the money i have now is my ticket money ok...
wildoliver
16:32i'm afraid i have no friends, you see i drive a bmw and because i can't use indicators i keep running them over? You must be the same yes?
Well I could send you another $500 too, I mean whats $1500 to meet a new friend!

[wildoliver]

James Bills
or you can go for a loan in a bank i will pay it for you in two days time ok....
i know that ok..
wildoliver
16:35ah the bank won't lend me money as they have all been bombed in the custard riots, even the oxo tower bank has collapsed, that's why i need to get my boot open as with that money i could buy up half of my town and even own my own ambiwlans!

[JungleJim]

i like how you couldn't even be bothered to format it into a readable state.


I'm ooot.

[wildoliver]

James Bills
so what do we do now..
wildoliver
well i'll give you my address and you send me $100 and i can then send you many many riches back in return. you could even be my partner and move over here
James Bills
do you have a cam
wildoliver
no its covered in custart
do you?
James Bills
no i dont??
wildoliver
oh pity because if i could have a picture of you then i think my neighbour would lend me the money
James Bills
ok i can send you my pic now ok...
wildoliver
i need to know it's you though
can you take a picture with a little sign you write out?

[sneijder]

Why are you posting this ?

[wildoliver]

Because i assumed someone may find it amusing.

Seemingly not.

[Pints]

I'm bored and quite enjoying reading this crap. Keep it coming.

[wildoliver]

I think he's given up now, pity as I wanted a picture of a grinning guy holding a sign saying PH rocks.



James Bills
you mean i should send you the pic...
wildoliver
yes you write out a little sign, take a pic of yourself, send it to me and i'll send you the money right now.
James Bills
ok...invite me
wildoliver
no i need a still picture
James Bills
i shuld send it to your mail
wildoliver
just send it via the send a file on here
James Bills
ok a mins
wildoliver
but you dont know what to write on the sign?
i cant send the money unless you do exactly what i say
James Bills
how can i sign
wildoliver
get a piece of paper and a pen and write out a sign
hold it up next to your face and take a pic of yourself
please remember i am an honourable man and will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams
James Bills
ok..
do you know what i will send the pic and also send the sign
wildoliver
no no both must be on the same picture
James Bills
how can
wildoliver
take the picture of you holding the sign. its not hard
James Bills
i cant do it
wildoliver
ok i cant send the money

[sneijder]

I was reading a good one the other day, I'm on my phone, so I can't find it right now.

Guy had the scammer in a fishing boat looking for a floating box full of cash with a GPS beacon.

[wildoliver]

Ok send me $500 dollars to my western union account (seriously who sends money via western union) and I'll send you your 5 minutes back. I am very honourable star captain.

[_Batty_]

i like cheese.

[Pints]

I'm still waiting for a picture of James Bills holding up a signing saying "PH FTW"...

[wildoliver]

He's given up.

The worry is some people must fall for these scams otherwise they wouldn't do it.