Maltesers - the lighter way to enjoy chocolate...
Maltesers - the lighter way to enjoy chocolate...
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bigandclever

Original Poster:

14,418 posts

269 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
... unless you're a NUTTER!

the news said:
A woman knifed a man in the head after he put a chocolate Malteser down her trousers.

Rosemarie O’Shea, 37, repeatedly slashed at Thomas Clynes with a nine-inch blade after flying into an 'uncontrollable’ rage.

Moments earlier the pair, who had just met, were drinking and kissing on the sofa at her home.

But Mr Clynes told Manchester Crown Court that after he put a Malteser down the back of her trousers for a joke, she grabbed a knife from the kitchen and began ‘chopping away’ at him.

The victim – whose leg was in plaster at the time – said Miss O’Shea snatched his crutches from him and said: “I can’t let you go now, I’m going to have to kill you.”

O’Shea admitted unlawfully wounding the victim but denied wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm in a trial. She was cleared of the more serious charge after a day of evidence.

Prosecutor Philip Dobson said the pair met for the first time when O’Shea approached Mr Clynes and asked for a cigarette outside California Wines at Moston Lane, Manchester. The pair ended up at O'Shea's home at Joule Street, Moston, and began kissing on the sofa. O’Shea then ‘keeled over the edge of the chair’ head-first.

Mr Clynes said: “I picked a Malteser up off the table and dropped it down the back of her pants, thinking it was a joke while she was bent over. I only did it for a laugh.”

Dr Aung Tint, a consultant psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital in Altrincham, told the court he had no doubt that O’Shea was suffering a ‘severe mental illness at the time’.

O’Shea will be sentenced later.

Davey S2

13,394 posts

285 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
Imagine what she would have done if he tried to stick a Mars bar up her fanny.

cal72

7,839 posts

201 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
Match.com member i wonder?

Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

237 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
What a brilliant night out.

But to be fair if you try and shag a woman who was scrounging free fags outside the off license - that's what will happen.

GT Kodiak

2,907 posts

210 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
She was obviously deeply upset that when she manuvered into her vulenerable and inviting position the most prominant thing on his mind was adoring her clunge with confectionary...

71notout

3,674 posts

268 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
Maybe she was expecting a Treat?

anonymous-user

85 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
fked if im buying mrs slopes anymore maltesers, she might start getting ideasyikes

Silverbullet767

11,373 posts

237 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
If she let one go, do you think the malteser would float?

HBLC

610 posts

203 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
I think she was expecting Fingers.

Cock Womble 7

29,908 posts

261 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
cal72 said:
Match.com member i wonder?
More POF methinks.

UncleRic

937 posts

199 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
bigandclever said:
... unless you're a NUTTER!

the news said:
..“I can’t let you go now, I’m going to have to kill you.”..
hehe

Sorry, that tickled me.

What a total fapping nut-job!

Edited by UncleRic on Thursday 14th October 15:24

Cock Womble 7

29,908 posts

261 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
He was only trying to get into her Snickers.

ImDesigner

1,961 posts

225 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
The only thing missing from that report is the phrase, balls deep!

UncleRic

937 posts

199 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
laugh

Cock Womble 7 said:
He was only trying to get into her Snickers.
You wouldn't have gotten away with that beauty 21 years ago..

1989 said:
He was only trying to get into her Marathon.

Doofus

34,642 posts

204 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
She was obviously suffering from pre minstrel tension

anonymous-user

85 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
Doofus said:
She was obviously suffering from pre minstrel tension
roflbow Pure genius*

















  • waits for the inevitable flaming, along the lines of'thats not funny, and you're an idiot if you think it is'


Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

237 months

Thursday 14th October 2010
quotequote all
snowy slopes said:
Doofus said:
She was obviously suffering from pre minstrel tension
roflbow Pure genius*
+1 biggrin