Someone's nicked me sprouts

[anonymous-user]

[redacted]

[Ledaig]

"Please wash stolen produce thoroughly before use to remove rat poison"

[DavesFlaps]

"These sprouts are fitted with GPS tracking"

[Stu R]

"This allotment has CCTV. I saw you nick my sprouts, and if you don't bring them back I'll put an axe in your head next time I see you."

Fair, appropriate, balanced and totally legal. Maybe.

Edited by Stu R on Monday 18th October 13:58

[RonJohnson]

Can you inject a laxative into any remaining sprouts? Might not help in stopping them being stolen, but should offer some satisfaction.

[tenohfive]

RonJohnson said:

Can you inject a laxative into any remaining sprouts? Might not help in stopping them being stolen, but should offer some satisfaction.

Not to mention fertiliser for the next batch.

[.:ian:.]

tenohfive said:

RonJohnson said:

Can you inject a laxative into any remaining sprouts? Might not help in stopping them being stolen, but should offer some satisfaction.

Not to mention fertiliser for the next batch.

Would anyone be able to tell the difference? Foul things,,

[TuxRacer]

Stu R said:

"This allotment has CCTV. I saw you nick my sprouts, and if you don't bring them back I'll put an axe in your head next time I see you."

Fair, appropriate, balanced and totally legal. Maybe.

You'd probably get done for being negligent - the sign acknowledges there's a risk you haven't dealt with. Much more legal to just bury the axe in someone's head without the warning sign.

[Rude-boy]

Sorry to hear that Issac.

Like the rat poison ideas, and you should also add a "fertilised using only my own finest arse gravy" I know you didn't want to give the secret of your sprouts out to everyone but perhaps now is the time to do so?

Sadly i doubt you will get them back or find out who took them. I think that next year you should only grow attractive and tasty looking poisonous plants

Alternatively you might want to do a ‘thanks’ sign letting the thief know (as they will be back for more veg from your neighbours I am sure) just how much you appreciated their efforts on top of the other things this year has dealt you mate.

Truly gutted for you.

[Parsnip]

.:ian:. said:

Would anyone be able to tell the difference? Foul things,,

Boiled until they are grey and tasteless - yes.

Sliced and fried up with bacon

[Laurel Green]

^^^^ Listen to this man - with a name like that he should know what he's talking about.

[netherfield]

put a sign up


A gm crop
not fit
for
human
consumption

Edited by netherfield on Monday 18th October 22:59

[Mr GrimNasty]

You should have irrigated them with smart water.

[RizzoTheRat]

Surely having to eat sprouts is punishment enough for the thief.

[Laurel Green]

RizzoTheRat said:

Surely having to eat sprouts is punishment enough for the thief.

What, you don't like sprouts - have you ever tasted sprouts freshly picked? Why only this weekend I had some freshly picked out of an allotment and they were bloody lovely oh st...

[Stu R]

I'm really sorry OP, but every time I see the thread title in 'My Stuff' it makes me smile. I've just got visions of some elaborate cat burglar operation going through my mind

[cpas]

Laurel Green said:

RizzoTheRat said:

Surely having to eat sprouts is punishment enough for the thief.

What, you don't like sprouts - have you ever tasted sprouts freshly picked? Why only this weekend I had some freshly picked out of an allotment and they were bloody lovely oh st...

[racing green]

I think that this must surely be the biggest hint yet that we are in a double dip recession when it comes to having your Sprouts nicked - I mean Sprouts!!! . Better nail down the shed and the wife cos it will be a free for all next!!! On another tack try growing some crap Spouts next time.
Or try some of these

[Globulator]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Can I suggest you put down some straw next time, I've got mud all over my boots now thanks to your cheapskate gardening practices.

The sprouts were superb however, well done.
Your cabbages look good BTW..

[Mister c]

I had a similar episode this summer.
I have grown 3 cherry trees.This year they were heaving, literally buckets full .First time they have produced as Pigeons normally get them so I built a cage over the whole vedge plot.
I decided that I would pick them on the weekend as they were just about ready.They looked a picture.I went away on Thursday morning, came back friday night and there wasnt even one left!!!!This cage is bullet proof and was undamaged.No pips , no feathers, no indication whatso ever of who did it.Never did find out.Whoever or whatever nicked them, It must have been a conspiricy as one person could never have eaten that many in 2 days or even in 2 weeks.