Winter Driving Advice
Discussion
With winter approaching here is advice for driving in icy conditions
WOMEN
1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear.
2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears.
3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere.
4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was.
MEN
1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice.
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph.
4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix.
5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo.
6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions.
7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
WOMEN
1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear.
2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears.
3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere.
4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was.
MEN
1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice.
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph.
4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix.
5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo.
6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions.
7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
Petrolhead_Rich said:
dvance said:
slimzimma said:
Petrolhead_Rich said:
you forgot handbrake turns at every corner!
Unless your talking backwards
It's quite tailhappy with the right gas pedal + steering input provocation (only on snow that is)Having said that, it would be quite interesting to go backwards, shame you won't be able to apply opposite lock in that case -- or would you?
Edited by dvance on Wednesday 24th November 15:12
Last year in the snow, I went drifting in my diesel powered Focus. Much fun was had trying to recover it as a bus was approaching in the opposit direction.
I car share with a female colleague, I will no doubt have to do all the driving during snowy periods. With a 20 mile each way comute every day, there are lots of oppertunities to show off.
I will no doubt bend the car in an attempt to scare her and blame it on the conditions.
I car share with a female colleague, I will no doubt have to do all the driving during snowy periods. With a 20 mile each way comute every day, there are lots of oppertunities to show off.
I will no doubt bend the car in an attempt to scare her and blame it on the conditions.
Last winter i had left myself a generous 3 hours to get from work to Munich airport 40 miles away. It has been snowing but nothing serious.
Autobahn was totally jammed a few miles after i joined and I had no choice but to venture onto the side roads and make my way down to the airport so I could catch my flight.
I think i had about 25 miles to go on roads equivalent to our "b" roads covered with about a foot of compacted snow and an hour to get to the airport. So that's an average of just under 30mph on snow.
The BMW dsc was doing a marvellous job initially making the drive almost relaxing if you were being sensible. The edges of the road were only visible because of the snow markers sticking out marking the way.
The problems started are the first slight incline.. The argument went like this..
Me: I'm slowing down, ill apply some throttle
V8 connected to the peddle: MMMM, fuel...air....POWER!!!!!
DSC: No.
Me: ok, ill try a lighter touch
V8: Gently gently does it...purr purr purr
DSC: No.
Me: ok, this is getting stupid [prods dsc button and kicks pedal]
V8: ROOOOOARRRRRR
DSC: [sulk mode on]
Me:
Now bear in mind the B10 was wearing her full BMW approved winter booties that made it look like id stuck a spoiler on a 525d
So, this continued for the remaining miles. 20 miles of sweating and a grip of death on the steering wheel and occasional DSC rest periods when on the flat.
Best 20 miles of my life. I was grinning like a Cheshire cat when i got to the airport.. i almost considered a later flight and a few more hours playing at being Colin
So, my piece of winter driving advice?
DSC off and 345bhp though the rear wheels!
LP
just to poke the winter tyre argument... it wouldn't have got out of the car park on its normal 275/35/19's
Autobahn was totally jammed a few miles after i joined and I had no choice but to venture onto the side roads and make my way down to the airport so I could catch my flight.
I think i had about 25 miles to go on roads equivalent to our "b" roads covered with about a foot of compacted snow and an hour to get to the airport. So that's an average of just under 30mph on snow.
The BMW dsc was doing a marvellous job initially making the drive almost relaxing if you were being sensible. The edges of the road were only visible because of the snow markers sticking out marking the way.
The problems started are the first slight incline.. The argument went like this..
Me: I'm slowing down, ill apply some throttle
V8 connected to the peddle: MMMM, fuel...air....POWER!!!!!
DSC: No.
Me: ok, ill try a lighter touch
V8: Gently gently does it...purr purr purr
DSC: No.
Me: ok, this is getting stupid [prods dsc button and kicks pedal]
V8: ROOOOOARRRRRR
DSC: [sulk mode on]
Me:
Now bear in mind the B10 was wearing her full BMW approved winter booties that made it look like id stuck a spoiler on a 525d
So, this continued for the remaining miles. 20 miles of sweating and a grip of death on the steering wheel and occasional DSC rest periods when on the flat.
Best 20 miles of my life. I was grinning like a Cheshire cat when i got to the airport.. i almost considered a later flight and a few more hours playing at being Colin
So, my piece of winter driving advice?
DSC off and 345bhp though the rear wheels!
LP
just to poke the winter tyre argument... it wouldn't have got out of the car park on its normal 275/35/19's
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