Good god, I know it may be 'lonely' in prison but...

[shoggoth1]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-he...

...surely 'big barry' in the showers would be a better choice.

[10 Pence Short]

She has the combined looks of Janice Battersby and a Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

[stormin]

What stick did she get hit with.....god the inmate must have been desperate.

[GTIR]

"Inmate Eric Fitzgerald...."

So he'd had enough of Gerald then?

[swiftpete]

She looks as rough as a dog, but if he'd been inside for 5 years without a sniff of a woman, I can see why he did it. The funny thing is, he sacked her off after he'd emptied 5 years of spaff up her. She must've had to use a duvet as a tissue after that build up. I bet he's embarrassed now the story has come out.

[grumbledoak]

I have never been that desperate! Five years? I'd still be using a sock.

[GTIR]

Dig a hole in the rubber mattress.

Sorted.


(so I've heard)

[swiftpete]

I know what you're saying, but you've probably never gone 5 years without sex. I think the woman looks like a horrible beast, but 5 long years of no action and I can definitely see why he did it. He probably thought he could keep it on the low and nobody would have to find out.

[GTIR]

swiftpete said:

I know what you're saying, but you've probably never gone 5 years without sex. I think the woman looks like a horrible beast, but 5 long years of no action and I can definitely see why he did it. He probably thought he could keep it on the low and nobody would have to find out.

Like shagging your nan?
Sounds really sick but after five years you'd be looking at her thinking "Hmm, you know what" you'd say in your head, as it's a secret "she's kind of ok actually"

People always know your secrets you think they don't know.

(I'd imagine, like)


ETA. When I say "your nan" I don't mean your nan swiftpete, although I'm quite sure she's very nice, not in a sexual way of course, and I mean no offence.

Edited by GTIR on Saturday 11th December 23:48

[m444ttb]

I presume they let him out afterwards?! Punishment enough. She should be used on some of the 'studen rioters. That'll learn 'em!

[Pothole]

superb cropping of the pic on this site: http://www.heart.co.uk/bedford/local/news/female-b...

[dudleybloke]

there's no fking way that she's 27!

[dingg]

A couple of sayings come to mind

'any port in a storm'

and 'any pussy is better than no pussy'

[Xenocide]

Infatuated is the right word

[12gauge]

Do they get 'conjugals' in UK prisons like in the american ones (or the american ones in movies) where some lass comes and satisfies them.

We should be using these 'carrots' and sticks to control prisoners.

[grumbledoak]

She's not much of a carrot.