My magical, mystical multi-layered floor [big rant!]
My magical, mystical multi-layered floor [big rant!]
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Jonny_

Original Poster:

4,623 posts

231 months

Tuesday 14th December 2010
quotequote all
[warning: this contains much ranting, foul language and opportunities aplenty to mock my tile-based misfortune. You have been warned]

Today I started ripping up the old floor tiles in my kitchen.

On levering up the first one I thought "How odd, they all seem to be stuck together" as the adjacent tiles all lifted slightly as well. Unlike most tiled floors where each tile will usually come up on its own (often in pieces).

Once I'd ripped/smashed the tile off using a lump hammer, a 24" crowbar and a satisfying amount of violence, I discovered that the reason for them all sticking together was that some utter f***king knobhead had been lazy and slack-arsed enough to tile OVER THE OLD F**KING LINO.

Jesus.

So on I cracked, got a few tiles out the way then started ripping up the exposed patch of lino. Which, once free from tiles, came up suspiciously easily, to reveal... cork tiles.

That's 3 layers, then. And another lazy, useless, feckless, workshy f***ing C*NT who couldn't be bloody arsed to take up the old floor before laying a new one.

These bding things were properly stuck down. No ripping up nice big chunks, oh no; it was out with the bolster and lump hammer to take the cork off inch by sodding inch. I've done about 5 square foot in the space of an hour.

To top it off, in a few places I've also found odd patches of those real olde-worlde floor tiles under the cork. Y'know, the really thin ones arranged in a chessboard-like pattern. Which are probably made of something nice and healthy and safe. Like asbestos. And come up almost as easily as those poxy cork things, which means I'll probably wear my bolster and mash hammer down to f**k-all before the damn flooring is all gone!

So I'd just like to say a massive thanks to all the imbeciles, f**kwits and brain-dead rectal lice masquerading as tradesmen and/or DIYers who've bodged and buggered their way through my kitchen over the years. Seriously, what kind of inept bell-end applies ceramic tiles over frigging lino? C*nting morons!



Edited by Jonny_ on Tuesday 14th December 23:44

GTO-3R

7,909 posts

237 months

Tuesday 14th December 2010
quotequote all
10/10 for the rant biggrin

Elysium

16,793 posts

211 months

Tuesday 14th December 2010
quotequote all
You should probably have left the old floor down and tiled over the top

Jonny_

Original Poster:

4,623 posts

231 months

Tuesday 14th December 2010
quotequote all
GTO-3R said:
10/10 for the rant biggrin
Cheers! smile

Elysium said:
You should probably have left the old floor down and tiled over the top
Thought about it but the old ones were cracked to buggery, no doubt from being fitted to such a stable substrate! biggrin

Kinky

39,910 posts

293 months

Tuesday 14th December 2010
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I'd have put a parquet floor down, on top of what you already have yes

chris1roll

1,893 posts

268 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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Old linoleum can contain asbestos you know....

Before I knew that I removed some very old lino that was all flaky and dusty, I snapped it up into small bits and into bin bags, swept up the remainder, I was covered head to foot in brown dust, was like being in a sandstorm. I then moved to the next room where there was some more modern stuff that was still flexible. As I rolled it up, on the back was printed "Asbestos Free".....

Laurel Green

31,022 posts

256 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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An old shovel/spade can be most useful for removal of said bodges.

Paul Drawmer

5,119 posts

291 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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Laurel Green said:
An old shovel/spade can be most useful for removal of said bodges.
I removed a kitchen tiled floor with a spade. It was very sharp when I'd finished, and kin' dangerous!

DJFish

6,009 posts

287 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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May I humbly suggest you get yourself down to your local hire shop and rent an sds drill and a couple of chisels.
I did most of my place by hand, hired a drill for the last bit and so wish I'd bought one in the first place, would've saved me hours!
Getting there now though.
Tile porn:


Edited by DJFish on Wednesday 15th December 08:32

BoRED S2upid

20,983 posts

264 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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haha Exactly the same thing happend to me 2 weeks ago, lazy sts had tiled over the lino took hours to get it all up.

rovermorris999

5,320 posts

213 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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It sounds like you're now down to Marley tiles, often used in the 50's and 60's. A bit like squares of lino, glued down. They can be a sod to get up as they break easily. I had to take some up in the bathroom of a house I bought as they were smelly (you can guess why) and the easiest way I found was a heat gun and a scraper. Nasty fumes though, ventilate well and consider a proper mask. If they're sound, I'd just leave them.

furtive

4,501 posts

303 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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Just think of all that extra ceiling height you are gaining...

defblade

7,979 posts

237 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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Elysium said:
You should probably have left the old floor down and tiled over the top
yes

Piersman2

6,675 posts

223 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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My kitchen foor was similar.

Starting from the bottom.

Original floorboards

then

4mm ply boarding nailed approx every inch along all edges and across the boards, probably a hundred nails+ for each board.

then

lino

then

more lino

then

square lino tiles on top.


All the lino came up quite easily, but feck me the boards and the thousands of nails took me 2 days to get out so I could get back to the original boards and get them ready for laying a laminate floor.



BarnatosGhost

32,660 posts

277 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
quotequote all
Set fire to the cork.

You're welcome.

Vron

2,541 posts

233 months

Wednesday 15th December 2010
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Jonny_ said:
GTO-3R said:
10/10 for the rant biggrin
Cheers! smile

Elysium said:
You should probably have left the old floor down and tiled over the top
Thought about it but the old ones were cracked to buggery, no doubt from being fitted to such a stable substrate! biggrin
It will be fine just PVA over it wink

nomisesor

983 posts

211 months

Thursday 16th December 2010
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You'll need a stepladder to get to your worktops at this rate.

Have probably posted this before - in our first flat the swirly 1970s carpet in the ground floor front reception room was exactly the same as in the adjacent rear room (now the bedroom) ......because it continued straight under the stud wall where bridal doors had been in Victorian times!

davidjpowell

18,616 posts

208 months

Thursday 16th December 2010
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It's just insulation that you are removing....

Flintstone

8,644 posts

271 months

Thursday 16th December 2010
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BarnatosGhost said:
Set fire to the cork.
I think the Irish are having a tough enough time as it is, don't you?

BarnatosGhost

32,660 posts

277 months

Thursday 16th December 2010
quotequote all
Flintstone said:
BarnatosGhost said:
Set fire to the cork.
I think the Irish are having a tough enough time as it is, don't you?
good point. Call the irish and tell them they can have their cork back.