Controlling a temper

[Ray Singh]

How do you control a temper? I am in danger of getting into serious trouble as i vannot control my temper.

Little things like peoples driving or comments in super markets really get on my wick and i have to retaliate. I want to be able to just let things go as recently i have had involvement from the police and my wife and children were not impressed.

[y282]

Ray Singh said:

How do you control a temper? I am in danger of getting into serious trouble as i vannot control my temper.

Little things like peoples driving or comments in super markets really get on my wick and i have to retaliate. I want to be able to just let things go as recently i have had involvement from the police and my wife and children were not impressed.

good question. *bookmarks thread*

[stuthemong]

Hit the gym says I. Work up a sweat, let the hormones/endorphines play their game, then feel relaxed & become zen master.

[ShadownINja]

Wow. Well, I'm pleased you're acknowledging there's a problem. This is likely a symptom of something else - I am guessing you're under a lot of stress (work, family, friends?) so you need to work on reducing the pressure so you're more relaxed generally. If you work in a high pressure environment so changing stress levels is not possible then you will need to do something de-stressing like meditation, yoga or tai chi. These practices should not be done just once a week in a class but you should practise them at home (while your skill may not be to a good level initially, practising them will make you more relaxed generally). If you want to reply "but I don't have time" it sounds like you ought to make time before you end up "doing time".

[Dr Jekyll]

stuthemong said:

Hit the gym says I. Work up a sweat, let the hormones/endorphines play their game, then feel relaxed & become zen master.

And if you still get into a fight, you'll be stronger and more likely to win.

[Doniger]

You need an outlet. I used to find karate was very good - you can harmlessly batter a bag until you're exhausted.
The gym's a good one too - change your playlist to suit. Working out to Slayer nicely burns away my roadrage at the end of a horrible day in and around London.

And if you can get over the stigma of being a grown man and doing such a thing, playing violent video games for an hour in the evening works nicely for me too. Nothing like shooting several dozen people in the head to calm you down when the red mist descends.

[Johnnytheboy]

Self-abuse calms me down a treat.

[NoNeed]

I was like this last year and probably the year before but not as bad. It turned out I was a diabetic and my sugar levels effected my mood.
It was only after chasing a colleague around the factory with a hammer that I sought help.But before then I was snapping at everbody, storming out of meetings and generally being a tt. How I still have a job is beyond me, my boss tells me he knew something was wrong as I was never like that for the first few years, but I was unapproachable.

It may be something completely different, but there IS usually an underlying medical problem.

[The Nur]

A high intake of cannabinoids works for me. Things still enfuriate me, I just can't be bothered to react. The artificial timidity gives me enough time to think and allows me to control my aggression.

A positive "drug" story. Who'd have thunk it?

[randomwalk]

Take 3 deep breaths and really think about it "is it worth it? " they are a fkwit anyway, just walk away, remain superior, say nothing.

[ShadownINja]

Johnnytheboy said:

Self-abuse calms me down a treat.

The pain releases the pressure, eh?

[Wacky Racer]

Count down from 10,000 to zero backwards...

By the time you've finished you'll have forgotten what you were mad about.......

[Stuart70]

Comment on the thread earlier, it would be worth spending the time to work out what is the underlying stress? Seems unlikely that the individual incidents themselves would be enough. What are you feeling is not in control in your life, and is this causing you to (over?)react to the little stuff.

If you have the pressures of work and family life and feel you are getting no time for yourself, that can be enough to create the resentment and pressure... it was for me. Found that being "selfish" and taking time for myself (cycling, reading, driving in my case) actually made me more pleasant to be around for the remainder of the time.

Apologies if entirely irrelevant to you, just a bit of what worked for me.

In any case, good luck with it, as it's not enjoyable to have that feeling of blowing up regularly...

Cheers

[ShadownINja]

Stuart70 said:

Comment on the thread earlier, it would be worth spending the time to work out what is the underlying stress? Seems unlikely that the individual incidents themselves would be enough. What are you feeling is not in control in your life, and is this causing you to (over?)react to the little stuff.

If you have the pressures of work and family life and feel you are getting no time for yourself, that can be enough to create the resentment and pressure... it was for me. Found that being "selfish" and taking time for myself (cycling, reading, driving in my case) actually made me more pleasant to be around for the remainder of the time.

Exactly - work out why the stress and then figure out how to deal with it.

[Ray Singh]

Thanks for all the comments.
I have been waiting for one day now for te Police to get back to me about the incident yesterday.
They got back to me and all is clear, but i really need to control my temper.

I will try and devote some more personal time and try to find some hobbies. I do have a fairly high pressure work load and young children.

I appreciate your comments. Thank you.

[King Herald]

Ray Singh said:

How do you control a temper? I am in danger of getting into serious trouble as i vannot control my temper.

Little things like peoples driving or comments in super markets really get on my wick and i have to retaliate. I want to be able to just let things go as recently i have had involvement from the police and my wife and children were not impressed.

You don't do it to everybody though, do you. You choose when to lose your temper, or not. There is a split second before you let go, when you ask yourself quickly 'will I get away with this'.

When you've had a drunk you'll be a little more brave, and you may lose your rag with people you'd never dream of doing it to when sober.

You probably fancy yourself as a bit of a 'hard man', so you fear little with other road users or work mates, when you feel the need to fly off the handle.

You probably have very little respect for most people, thus you have no worries about offending them.



I've guess at most of the above so it is probably all boughlocks.

[oldbanger]

To echo an earlier poster, I would also like to suggest that you get yourself checked out medically, particularly for type 2 diabetes. It can seriously turn you into a ranting raving Mr Angry, who snaps at every opportunity.

[Halb]

Johnnytheboy said:

Self-abuse calms me down a treat.

I prefer to think of it as, 'self-treating'...

[Stu R]

Whip the piss out of anyone who vexes you.

[Parsnip]

Before you get angry with someone, walk a mile in their shoes - has the dual advantages of the irritating dick now being a mile away and you having their shoes.