Most entertaining breakdown story
Discussion
To save the trouble of people looking for it - here it is again
This happened to me as I attempted to reach a hockey tournament a few years ago and is the body of the email I sent to justify my failure to turn up.
06.00 Wake to make early start for tournament (150 miles away) as first match is at 10 and I want a beer before the game.
6.15 Load S3 with kit, tent and emergency supply of stella, should the bar run dry and/or stop serving.
6.20 Realise it is a goorious day, unpack boot, take off roof and repack boot. This small detail was only realised due to falure to make coffee on getting up.
6.30 Leave house
7.15 Whilst cruising at a steady 70 on a wonderfully clear M1 experience complete electric failure. Suspect immobiliser fault as it happened once before.
7.20 Phone Green Flag
7.45 Helpful policeman pulls up behind to check all OK. Makes very poor joke about TVR reliability (Towing Vehicle Required). Leaves me in peace as Green Flag turns up
8.00 Mechanic identifies fault as immobiliser failure. Can't fix that Mister, you will need to be towed home.
Realsies will need low loader and phones back to base. Advises may be another hour before it gets to me
8.05 Green Flag leave
8.45 Friendly policeman waves at me as he goes past again.
9.30 Low Loader arrives. Driver exceptionally grumpy when discovers has to take me back to Leeds.
9.50 Set off for Leeds. Phone garage to see if I can drop car there. No answer so have to take car home.
10.15 Starts to rain. Realise roof is still off car. Also realise roof is in boot of car, which is opened electronically, I have no electrics - buer.
10.30 Raining quite hard now, ask driver if he has a tarp I culd tie over the car. No! Advises that as long as we are moving the car should stay dry.
10.45 Hit traffic jam at Sheffield - start to whimper slightly. Small child in car at side keeps pointing and laughing.
11.00 Only a small jam, but car looking a little damp.
11.45 Pull up outside house, at least 2 neighbours make jokes about TVR reliability.
12.00 Get car into house garage and attempt to dry it with several towels.
12.15 Decide to have a beer - realise Stella is in boot of car. Wife makes tea instead.
12.30 Wife feels sorry for me and says I can take her car to the tournament if I want. Well it is a two day tournament. Should make it for the last match of the day and plenty time for beers tonight.
12.31 Realise kit, tent, stella is in boot of Tiv. Remember that that there is a way to open the boot manually, just a little awkward.
13.30 No skin left on knuckles, deep cut in left thumb and cannot open boot of car.
13.45 Give up trying to open boot and resign myself to not going to tournament
14.00 Wife gives me a cup of tea and advises me that as I was supposed to be going away she has arranged a girls night out. OK so peace and quiet and a night on the Play station then
15.00 Go and buy some beer and settle down to watch sport for the rest of the afternoon
15.15 Wife comes in and advises that as i am home she has volunteered me to baby sit all of the friends kids for the evening
15.16 cry
15.17 pull myself together and ask how many - only 10, ages 7 - 13!!
15.25 Stop crying again as I have retreated to the cupboard under the stairs and curled up into the foetal position.
Following Monday - garage cannot take car in for a week
Another week later - Problem identified by garage as immobiliser failure and I need a new one. Oh and sir, did you realise that your rear tyres need replacing and that your drivers side trainling arm is shot. Phone bank.
I still have the car and wuld not part with her for the world. But there was a time during that weekend when I could have shoved her off a cliff!
This happened to me as I attempted to reach a hockey tournament a few years ago and is the body of the email I sent to justify my failure to turn up.
06.00 Wake to make early start for tournament (150 miles away) as first match is at 10 and I want a beer before the game.
6.15 Load S3 with kit, tent and emergency supply of stella, should the bar run dry and/or stop serving.
6.20 Realise it is a goorious day, unpack boot, take off roof and repack boot. This small detail was only realised due to falure to make coffee on getting up.
6.30 Leave house
7.15 Whilst cruising at a steady 70 on a wonderfully clear M1 experience complete electric failure. Suspect immobiliser fault as it happened once before.
7.20 Phone Green Flag
7.45 Helpful policeman pulls up behind to check all OK. Makes very poor joke about TVR reliability (Towing Vehicle Required). Leaves me in peace as Green Flag turns up
8.00 Mechanic identifies fault as immobiliser failure. Can't fix that Mister, you will need to be towed home.
Realsies will need low loader and phones back to base. Advises may be another hour before it gets to me
8.05 Green Flag leave
8.45 Friendly policeman waves at me as he goes past again.
9.30 Low Loader arrives. Driver exceptionally grumpy when discovers has to take me back to Leeds.
9.50 Set off for Leeds. Phone garage to see if I can drop car there. No answer so have to take car home.
10.15 Starts to rain. Realise roof is still off car. Also realise roof is in boot of car, which is opened electronically, I have no electrics - buer.
10.30 Raining quite hard now, ask driver if he has a tarp I culd tie over the car. No! Advises that as long as we are moving the car should stay dry.
10.45 Hit traffic jam at Sheffield - start to whimper slightly. Small child in car at side keeps pointing and laughing.
11.00 Only a small jam, but car looking a little damp.
11.45 Pull up outside house, at least 2 neighbours make jokes about TVR reliability.
12.00 Get car into house garage and attempt to dry it with several towels.
12.15 Decide to have a beer - realise Stella is in boot of car. Wife makes tea instead.
12.30 Wife feels sorry for me and says I can take her car to the tournament if I want. Well it is a two day tournament. Should make it for the last match of the day and plenty time for beers tonight.
12.31 Realise kit, tent, stella is in boot of Tiv. Remember that that there is a way to open the boot manually, just a little awkward.
13.30 No skin left on knuckles, deep cut in left thumb and cannot open boot of car.
13.45 Give up trying to open boot and resign myself to not going to tournament
14.00 Wife gives me a cup of tea and advises me that as I was supposed to be going away she has arranged a girls night out. OK so peace and quiet and a night on the Play station then
15.00 Go and buy some beer and settle down to watch sport for the rest of the afternoon
15.15 Wife comes in and advises that as i am home she has volunteered me to baby sit all of the friends kids for the evening
15.16 cry
15.17 pull myself together and ask how many - only 10, ages 7 - 13!!
15.25 Stop crying again as I have retreated to the cupboard under the stairs and curled up into the foetal position.
Following Monday - garage cannot take car in for a week
Another week later - Problem identified by garage as immobiliser failure and I need a new one. Oh and sir, did you realise that your rear tyres need replacing and that your drivers side trainling arm is shot. Phone bank.
I still have the car and wuld not part with her for the world. But there was a time during that weekend when I could have shoved her off a cliff!
Gassing Station | General TVR Stuff & Gossip | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff