fitting vinyl floor - argh!
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shirt

Original Poster:

25,077 posts

225 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
i've spent much of the past week levelling my bathroom floor using a plane, sander, filler and hardboard. having finally got the thing almost perfectly level and the hardboard sealed, i bought the vinyl on my way home from work yesterday.

fully prepared, i set about making a newspaper template for the entire bathroom [it's an awkward shape with the suite cutouts]. making double sure this was right, i used it to make a cardboard template which was test fitted to ensure accuracy. somewhat pleasingly, it was spot on.

so, i placed the template on the underside of the vinyl [which has squares to line up the pattern], marked it all out and cut it down to size.

once more, i found it fit perfectly. only slight issue being that it does so only with the pattern facing downward, as i neglected to flip the teplate prior to cutting.

copious swearing promptly ensued. i'm sure the guy in the carpet shop will get some mileage of this story after i've been in again this evening.

CedGTV

2,538 posts

278 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Feeling your pain there mate.

Good luck with it.

soda

1,131 posts

185 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
laugh

Been there and done it though, cut some oak flooring to go around the hearth back to front. Called it lots of names and then did the same thing with the next piece.

Simpo Two

91,480 posts

289 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Teehee!

Maybe you can use it as 'underlay'?

5pen

2,121 posts

230 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Could see the 'punchline' coming about half-way through the post... did the same thing myself once(though it was only cutting what was already an offcut to fit in the understairs cupboard).

shirt

Original Poster:

25,077 posts

225 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
the only saving grace is the vinyl i'm using was from a local company who have a remnant shop as well as their main business so i paid peanuts for what i wasted. they had more so i'll be able to get another piece on my way home.

still, i could have had it professionally fitted for the total outlay, which is mildly annoying!


steviejasp

1,646 posts

189 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
If you think thats funny....
A so called floor layer i had the misfortune to know once thought he could save time by doing it his way.
We were working on some new build flats and were running out of time.
My old company thought they would get a subbie in to speed things up.
This fkwit thought if he made a template for one of the bathrooms he could transfer the marks onto about ten pieces of vinyl as they were all exactly the same.....




Edited by steviejasp on Tuesday 15th March 16:01


Edited by steviejasp on Tuesday 15th March 16:02

mk1fan

10,856 posts

249 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
The OH bought a roll of vinyl for the shower room in a let property. I went to pick it up and there was a reminant, twice the size for less than half the price.

Bought it to do the property currently being refurbed. Annoyingly it would have donw both shower rooms easily.

matc

4,735 posts

231 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
I thought I was the only person stupid enough to have managed this....very, very thankful that I'm not! hehe

spikeyhead

19,772 posts

221 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
matc said:
I thought I was the only person stupid enough to have managed this....very, very thankful that I'm not! hehe
PH, stupidity matters

I've not made this mistake, but if I typed about all my DIY mishaps my keyboard would wear out.

Simpo Two

91,480 posts

289 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Best howler I did was hacksaw through a rising main - which makes the OP look like a mere amateur...



I'd used a freezing kit but it hadn't frozen. DOH!

Morningside

24,147 posts

253 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
My nephew is a carpet/vinyl fitter but...



One thing I did learn about fitting vinyl is that it does not stretch frown

shirt

Original Poster:

25,077 posts

225 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Best howler I did was hacksaw through a rising main.



I'd used a freezing kit but it hadn't frozen. DOH!
whilst fixing squeaky floorboards prior to fitting underlay the other week, I put a screw straight through a heating pipe. I've never moved so fast in my life!

like spikeyhead, this renovation has seen many a disaster including several instances of lying prone whilst emitting a death rattle. once dropped the angle grinder with the switch locked 'on', cutting the toe off my trainers but thankfully no toes

anyway, a deceased gearbox put paid to collecting the vinyl frown

B17NNS

18,506 posts

271 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Best howler I did was hacksaw through a rising main - which makes the OP look like a mere amateur...
hehe I've done the same. Quite a bit of pressure isn't there.

Cleaned the ceiling up a treat though.

spikeyhead

19,772 posts

221 months

Tuesday 15th March 2011
quotequote all
A bloke I know was very proud that he'd fitted a bidet, but described the first testing thus.

That jet of water was much more powerful than I expected, went up my arse so hard I banged my head on the ceiling.

Compared to him I'm but an amateur.

mrsxllifts

2,501 posts

223 months

Wednesday 16th March 2011
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B17NNS said:
hehe I've done the same. Quite a bit of pressure isn't there.

Cleaned the ceiling up a treat though.
We worked with a guy who hamer drilled through the gas main that was buried 15mm under someone floor. Never quite worked out what a gas main was doing running under someone lounge at that depth but it made for an interesting call to the Gas Board 'do you mean the gas that runs in to the house?' ' No, I mean the big yellow pipe main that we can't shut off' Gas man turned up with a police escort.

Simpo Two

91,480 posts

289 months

Wednesday 16th March 2011
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mrsxllifts said:
Gas man turned up with a police escort.
Couldn't they find one who wasn't in prison?

37Flipper

500 posts

209 months

Wednesday 16th March 2011
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Hmmm, fitting the new wooden flooring in our recent conversion I was proud as punch that I hadn't cocked up any pieces by cutting the wrong end off the flooring whilst laying it. Onto the last piece and promptly cut the wrong end off.

One short drive into the city to buy another piece at £20, got home, measured up and..... cut the wrong end off again!!! wobble What a twonk!!!

Tyre Smoke

23,018 posts

285 months

Wednesday 16th March 2011
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My old boss a Securicor thought it would be a good cash saving idea to get one or two of the Cash-in-transit guards to level out the corner of the yard in his branch for a bit of overtime one Saturday morning.

Kango hired from local hire shop, cement ready for delivery, head office not informed. All set then? Yup. What could possibly go wrong?

Two wassocks Kangoed through the electrical main and put the entire estate out of action. Branch generator failed to kick in, so for six hours on a Saturday Exeter Securicor had £20 million of unprotected, untraceable cash on site.

One final written warning later and my boss spent the rest of his time having the piss ripped out of him if he so much as mentioned budgets and cash saving exercises.