Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
Been there, done that, got the - expensive and dispiriting - T shirt.
Everything you have ever worked for or inherited is a joint matrimonial asset. Everything she has earned or inherited is hers and should be ring fenced. Any attempt to bring the former into the pot and you're a gold digger, the latter and you are an emotionless, grave-robbing monster.
By raising your voice in an argument, you will be deemed to have committed DV, the police will be called and you will be patronisingly lectured that you are lucky not to be thrown out of the matrimonial home and cautioned for assault. She knows, of course, that such a caution would probably be the end of your professional career.
She is quite free however to throw a 5 litre tin of paint over your lease car and the same police station won't attend or even give you a crime number, claiming it is a civil matter. When you are stabbed in the shoulder with a kitchen knife and wind up in hospital needing 6 stitches, the police attend grudgingly and only because A&E have logged the injury as a stabbing. They will refuse point-blank to interview her and advise you not to be provocative in future
She will also tell your family, including elderly, credulous and religious mother a pack of lurid lies about the reason for the divorce, including about your sexuality, such that your relationship with them is never the same again. Sixteen years after claiming she 'just wants to move on' she will still be pedalling the same lies to family and friends.
Trust me Tonker, whatever you wind up paying this woman to end the marriage, perspective will make it seem cheap at the price.....
Everything you have ever worked for or inherited is a joint matrimonial asset. Everything she has earned or inherited is hers and should be ring fenced. Any attempt to bring the former into the pot and you're a gold digger, the latter and you are an emotionless, grave-robbing monster.
By raising your voice in an argument, you will be deemed to have committed DV, the police will be called and you will be patronisingly lectured that you are lucky not to be thrown out of the matrimonial home and cautioned for assault. She knows, of course, that such a caution would probably be the end of your professional career.
She is quite free however to throw a 5 litre tin of paint over your lease car and the same police station won't attend or even give you a crime number, claiming it is a civil matter. When you are stabbed in the shoulder with a kitchen knife and wind up in hospital needing 6 stitches, the police attend grudgingly and only because A&E have logged the injury as a stabbing. They will refuse point-blank to interview her and advise you not to be provocative in future
She will also tell your family, including elderly, credulous and religious mother a pack of lurid lies about the reason for the divorce, including about your sexuality, such that your relationship with them is never the same again. Sixteen years after claiming she 'just wants to move on' she will still be pedalling the same lies to family and friends.
Trust me Tonker, whatever you wind up paying this woman to end the marriage, perspective will make it seem cheap at the price.....
22k on mediation she doesn't participate in?
Who the hell is enabling this?
We went, once, she was less than co-operative, the mediatior made it clear that the process would not work if she conducted herself in that manner and they weren't prepared to continue.
I suspect she only attended on advice the court would want to see the attempt.
I wanted it to work, but was pleased not to continue paying £400 quid a session on futility.
Who the hell is enabling this?
We went, once, she was less than co-operative, the mediatior made it clear that the process would not work if she conducted herself in that manner and they weren't prepared to continue.
I suspect she only attended on advice the court would want to see the attempt.
I wanted it to work, but was pleased not to continue paying £400 quid a session on futility.
Seek said:
It's obvious that even as a lawyer yourself you somehow are still taking this divorce very personal.
If and when you manage to stop doing that it should make things emotionally much easier for you.
Of course it's going to be personal, how can divorce ever not be personal?? And since he's divorcing her, it's clearly the wife who's taking it very personally, and being very vindictive and spiteful as some pathetic attempt at revenge. It's just a major 'nose cutting off' job, and her lawyers must be loving it.The only thing Tonker's taking personally is the unnecessary harm she's causing to causing to their son.If and when you manage to stop doing that it should make things emotionally much easier for you.
They really do seem to hold a grudge for ever these ex wives.
Even when told directly by the most senior family court judge in our region that she is clearly a liar in a subsequent court case 2 years after the divorce hearing, my ex is still peddling the "poor old me" story to all and sundry.
She has told it so many times, even she believes it is the truth now! despite a recent 5 day hearing, the outcome of which laid the blame squarely at her feet and even ordering her into therapy to realise the error of her ways in that particular matter.
Despite being given the lions share of our assets (well over £350k in cash still currently sat in her bank), she is now trying to also take control of a measly few grand I put into a bank account for our daughters in their names.
Even when told directly by the most senior family court judge in our region that she is clearly a liar in a subsequent court case 2 years after the divorce hearing, my ex is still peddling the "poor old me" story to all and sundry.
She has told it so many times, even she believes it is the truth now! despite a recent 5 day hearing, the outcome of which laid the blame squarely at her feet and even ordering her into therapy to realise the error of her ways in that particular matter.
Despite being given the lions share of our assets (well over £350k in cash still currently sat in her bank), she is now trying to also take control of a measly few grand I put into a bank account for our daughters in their names.
desolate said:
All I can say is that I hope she made a massive effort to suck a Golf ball out of a hosepipe at the start of their relationship.
At least he will have memories to fall back on.
If my Mrs ever does the same then at least I will have those thoughts to keep me sane.
At least he will have memories to fall back on.
If my Mrs ever does the same then at least I will have those thoughts to keep me sane.
PAUL500 said:
They really do seem to hold a grudge for ever these ex wives.
Even when told directly by the most senior family court judge in our region that she is clearly a liar in a subsequent court case 2 years after the divorce hearing, my ex is still peddling the "poor old me" story to all and sundry.
She has told it so many times, even she believes it is the truth now! despite a recent 5 day hearing, the outcome of which laid the blame squarely at her feet and even ordering her into therapy to realise the error of her ways in that particular matter.
Despite being given the lions share of our assets (well over £350k in cash still currently sat in her bank), she is now trying to also take control of a measly few grand I put into a bank account for our daughters in their names.
I wonder if it's the golf ball sucking trick that blinds us men into not seeing these crazies for what they are until it's too late? Or do they start off normal, and only turn into SWTs later?Even when told directly by the most senior family court judge in our region that she is clearly a liar in a subsequent court case 2 years after the divorce hearing, my ex is still peddling the "poor old me" story to all and sundry.
She has told it so many times, even she believes it is the truth now! despite a recent 5 day hearing, the outcome of which laid the blame squarely at her feet and even ordering her into therapy to realise the error of her ways in that particular matter.
Despite being given the lions share of our assets (well over £350k in cash still currently sat in her bank), she is now trying to also take control of a measly few grand I put into a bank account for our daughters in their names.
mjb1 said:
I wonder if it's the golf ball sucking trick that blinds us men into not seeing these crazies for what they are until it's too late? Or do they start off normal, and only turn into SWTs later?
There is that very funny you tube video that explains it all.My wife knows I am quite happy to go on the dole and live in a bedsit. So whilst she would get the house, ongoing income would be an issue.
I have said she would get about a grand a night on the game as she now qualifies as specialist interest at her age, so I am sure she will be fine.
Cotty said:
Just been reading an article about middle aged women moaning " Where have all the good men gone?".
Then you read the last page of this thread you realise that the men probably don't want to go through that s
t again.
I've been with Mrs G for 11 years and we are very happy. We're not married and, after the messy divorce I had before I met her, we probably never will. It really does leave a very nasty taste in ones mouth.Then you read the last page of this thread you realise that the men probably don't want to go through that s
t again.Cotty said:
Just been reading an article about middle aged women moaning " Where have all the good men gone?".
Then you read the last page of this thread you realise that the men probably don't want to go through that st again.
The Men Who Go Thier Own Way (MWGTOW) is a growing phenomenon apparently, basically men who have had their fingers burnt by the system and decided marriage is simply not as good a contract for men as it is for women. Then you read the last page of this thread you realise that the men probably don't want to go through that s
t again.Be nice to see the opposite article "Where are all the Good Women?" But it's highly unlikely of course due to embedded feminism in our culture!
steveatesh said:
The Men Who Go Thier Own Way (MWGTOW) is a growing phenomenon apparently, basically men who have had their fingers burnt by the system and decided marriage is simply not as good a contract for men as it is for women.
Not just those who have been burned but those who don't want to risk being burned p.s. its Men Going their Own Way (MGTOW) I have read and listened to lot about it, there is tons of stuff YouTube
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