Car makes and models and their driver stereotypes…
Discussion
monthefish said:
jdw1234 said:
Audi = financed up to eyeballs and live on new build estate.
I built my own house in the countryside and we bought our Audi outright for cash.Where does that leave your theory?
Perhaps the main variation would be that the car is often the one thing not under the debt mountain, although the tax and S-Line trade up cost certainly won't help matters.
Range Rovers fall into two categories
Vogue type spec - usually grey haired 50 year old men, tanned, nice teeth, golfing t shirt and wife who likes money.
Sport spec - usually thuggish types who have bought used, prob high miles or clocked and personalised by having everything possible either tinted or painted black.
Vogue type spec - usually grey haired 50 year old men, tanned, nice teeth, golfing t shirt and wife who likes money.
Sport spec - usually thuggish types who have bought used, prob high miles or clocked and personalised by having everything possible either tinted or painted black.
Audi driver's seem to fall into four types where I live
1. Boring, middle-aged sales manager in a leased A4/A6 TDI, too busy worrying about quarterly sales figures and checking his smartphone to notice he's right up your chuff. Immediately joins the outside lane on entering a motorway,sets cruise at 85-90, then tailgates like a b
d.
2. Wannabe and actual drug dealer/hardman who obviously uses steroids, driving blinged up RS models, usually around town, with urban choonz blaring from the stereo and a gangsta lean going on. Illegal tints/badly spaced/illegal font private plate/perma tanned WAG optional.
3. Young asian lads who barely look old enough to shave, or with ridiculously intricate beards, in A5's or A1's, usually four up, traffic light racing and generally driving like absolute cocks while listening to KISS FM. Talk "lak dis, innit bruv?" to appear "street", even though their middle class and will probably end up being a doctor or a lawyer.
4. Middle class yummy mummies in Q7's who seems to for get that they're driving a massive fk off 4x4 and plough down narrow streets like they're in a Mini. Bonus points if they can barely see over the wheel
1. Boring, middle-aged sales manager in a leased A4/A6 TDI, too busy worrying about quarterly sales figures and checking his smartphone to notice he's right up your chuff. Immediately joins the outside lane on entering a motorway,sets cruise at 85-90, then tailgates like a b
d.2. Wannabe and actual drug dealer/hardman who obviously uses steroids, driving blinged up RS models, usually around town, with urban choonz blaring from the stereo and a gangsta lean going on. Illegal tints/badly spaced/illegal font private plate/perma tanned WAG optional.
3. Young asian lads who barely look old enough to shave, or with ridiculously intricate beards, in A5's or A1's, usually four up, traffic light racing and generally driving like absolute cocks while listening to KISS FM. Talk "lak dis, innit bruv?" to appear "street", even though their middle class and will probably end up being a doctor or a lawyer.
4. Middle class yummy mummies in Q7's who seems to for get that they're driving a massive f
k off 4x4 and plough down narrow streets like they're in a Mini. Bonus points if they can barely see over the wheel
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Jag XK8 (96-06) is mainly driven by ageing cads (was of this opinion before TG popularised it incidentally!). Particularly true for JRG convertibles with slightly mouldy roofs.
Grey haired wannabe 'gent' with a paunch, salmon-coloured chinos and a little polo man on his (faded) shirt. Partner is mutton-dressed-as-lamb, in accordance with her mans' lifestyle aspirations. His Breitling may be genuine, but was bought as a very, very 'pre-loved' example.
Owner wants to be regarded as an old money Sloane, but has never truly managed to break in to that exclusive set. Lives in 'North London', more accurately described as 'Hemel Hempstead'.
His Jag conveys the desired air of refinement and dignity, but is likely not an accurate reflection of the man himself. £9.99 bottles of red hastily purchased from Tesco are loudly presented to dinner party hosts as if they were 2009 Chateau Margaux.
He particularly relishes having some real wood, as this is increasingly difficult to come by for a gentleman in his state of spiralling sexual decline.
Sold his original, matching tonneau cover on EBay recently to pay the bill to get the thing through its MOT.
The money from his (somewhat dubious) 'medical retirement' is rapidly drying up. The kids haven't talked to him since he cheated on Mum with that woman with 'the tan'.
Has massive text on his phone so he won't have to pop his readers on every time 'the bloody thing' vibrates. Would love to have a pint with Farage, but ultimately voted Tory.
Happy to be corrected on this by resident PH XK owners, if they can remember their password that is...
Grey haired wannabe 'gent' with a paunch, salmon-coloured chinos and a little polo man on his (faded) shirt. Partner is mutton-dressed-as-lamb, in accordance with her mans' lifestyle aspirations. His Breitling may be genuine, but was bought as a very, very 'pre-loved' example.
Owner wants to be regarded as an old money Sloane, but has never truly managed to break in to that exclusive set. Lives in 'North London', more accurately described as 'Hemel Hempstead'.
His Jag conveys the desired air of refinement and dignity, but is likely not an accurate reflection of the man himself. £9.99 bottles of red hastily purchased from Tesco are loudly presented to dinner party hosts as if they were 2009 Chateau Margaux.
He particularly relishes having some real wood, as this is increasingly difficult to come by for a gentleman in his state of spiralling sexual decline.
Sold his original, matching tonneau cover on EBay recently to pay the bill to get the thing through its MOT.
The money from his (somewhat dubious) 'medical retirement' is rapidly drying up. The kids haven't talked to him since he cheated on Mum with that woman with 'the tan'.
Has massive text on his phone so he won't have to pop his readers on every time 'the bloody thing' vibrates. Would love to have a pint with Farage, but ultimately voted Tory.
Happy to be corrected on this by resident PH XK owners, if they can remember their password that is...
Range Rover: Scrap metal dealer or other self-employed small businessman. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
Vauxhall Corsa: Young chav (male) or airheaded bimbo (female) or worse, a carful of same. Drives while texting / applying make-up / blasting out a dance music track. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
Audi A4: Widget / photocopier Salesman. Likes to outbrake other traffic at roundabouts before cutting across lanes and burying the nose of his car up the jaxi of anything in front. Thinks his TDI is an RS4. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
I could continue but I'd run out of space or get RSI....
t.Vauxhall Corsa: Young chav (male) or airheaded bimbo (female) or worse, a carful of same. Drives while texting / applying make-up / blasting out a dance music track. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant t
t.Audi A4: Widget / photocopier Salesman. Likes to outbrake other traffic at roundabouts before cutting across lanes and burying the nose of his car up the jaxi of anything in front. Thinks his TDI is an RS4. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant t
t.I could continue but I'd run out of space or get RSI....
BGarside said:
Range Rover: Scrap metal dealer or other self-employed small businessman. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
Vauxhall Corsa: Young chav (male) or airheaded bimbo (female) or worse, a carful of same. Drives while texting / applying make-up / blasting out a dance music track. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
Audi A4: Widget / photocopier Salesman. Likes to outbrake other traffic at roundabouts before cutting across lanes and burying the nose of his car up the jaxi of anything in front. Thinks his TDI is an RS4. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant tt.
I could continue but I'd run out of space or get RSI....
Same now with old x5s except the owners are usually poorer t.Vauxhall Corsa: Young chav (male) or airheaded bimbo (female) or worse, a carful of same. Drives while texting / applying make-up / blasting out a dance music track. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant t
t.Audi A4: Widget / photocopier Salesman. Likes to outbrake other traffic at roundabouts before cutting across lanes and burying the nose of his car up the jaxi of anything in front. Thinks his TDI is an RS4. Drives like an aggressive, arrogant t
t.I could continue but I'd run out of space or get RSI....
Bentley Continental/Range Rover Sport - Obviously rich man who wants the world to know they are loaded but have no imagination
Audi Q7 - Footballer or Drug dealer
4 cylinder BMW e36/e46 - Likes to think they're cool and driving a German Whip when really its a 316 with EM FREE wheels and rusted arches
Audi Q7 - Footballer or Drug dealer
4 cylinder BMW e36/e46 - Likes to think they're cool and driving a German Whip when really its a 316 with EM FREE wheels and rusted arches
Edited by SirSquidalot on Tuesday 30th June 15:02
Edited by SirSquidalot on Tuesday 30th June 15:02
My neighbours have 'his and hers' Toyota Prius's. To me, the statement screams "I'm green, I'm ECO, I care!". Despite being mid thirties- ish, I reckon the cars age them by about 15 years. He works in an office and reads the Guardian. She works as a language teacher, and wears skirts to mid-calf length teamed with gladiator sandals. Although I'm not really a gambling man, I'd be willing to bet that she has a hairy fanjina, a trend that we all thought had disappeared around the turn of the century.
Rocketsocks said:
My neighbours have 'his and hers' Toyota Prius's. To me, the statement screams "I'm green, I'm ECO, I care!". Despite being mid thirties- ish, I reckon the cars age them by about 15 years. He works in an office and reads the Guardian. She works as a language teacher, and wears skirts to mid-calf length teamed with gladiator sandals. Although I'm not really a gambling man, I'd be willing to bet that she has a hairy fanjina, a trend that we all thought had disappeared around the turn of the century.
Nothing wrong with that! Give me a hairy klopper any day. Can't stand all this shaven crap.Back on topic: Golf mk4 TDI drivers always seem to have a point to prove. They always give me daggers when I'm out in my chav chariot.
Seat Ibiza/Leon FR: Chav in his 20s with just about enough income to get one on finance. Think the A4/118d/Golf TDaiiiii lot are a nuisance? The tattooed young tt in the FR will show them a thing or two about tailgating. Perhaps he's late for the gym, or just doesn't want to miss Geordie Shore or Only Way Is Essex or whatever the latest reality bks that he's trying to emulate happens to be.
Ten-year-old Renault Laguna: exclusively driven by nutters. Large nutters. Large nutters who wring the poor thing's neck between building site and Screwfix outlet. Ever seen a Laguna without a hi-viz thrown on the back shelf? No, me either.
Fiat 500: Teenage girl who didn't pass her driving test by actually driving. For christ's sake, don't get too close, she probably has no idea you're there. Even if you happen to be driving a fire engine with blues and twos on. Just leave her be, with luck she'll finish updating her Twitbook status and put her phone down before that pensioner steps out into the... Never mind.
t in the FR will show them a thing or two about tailgating. Perhaps he's late for the gym, or just doesn't want to miss Geordie Shore or Only Way Is Essex or whatever the latest reality bks that he's trying to emulate happens to be.Ten-year-old Renault Laguna: exclusively driven by nutters. Large nutters. Large nutters who wring the poor thing's neck between building site and Screwfix outlet. Ever seen a Laguna without a hi-viz thrown on the back shelf? No, me either.
Fiat 500: Teenage girl who didn't pass her driving test by actually driving. For christ's sake, don't get too close, she probably has no idea you're there. Even if you happen to be driving a fire engine with blues and twos on. Just leave her be, with luck she'll finish updating her Twitbook status and put her phone down before that pensioner steps out into the... Never mind.
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