Non married parents separating

[PurpleMoonlight]

Child Maintenance assuming less than 52 nights PA with the father is £176 pw. It would reduce slightly if overnight care is more.

May as well pay that as CMS will come after him if he doesn't.

[MYOB]

surveyor_101]YOB said:

Who paid for the holiday? If your mate did, get him to cancel it. He might lose a little but should get the majority of the money back. [/quote


Well he paid all the bills she she used her part time money to save it up.

She has paid £1200 of a 2900 holiday..

Saw him and the kids today.

His 11 year old said she feels mumy has made out daddy is horrible to live with so granny will move her out.

So sad

Edited by surveyor_101 on Sunday 3rd February 18:55

So he didn't pay for the holiday directly? Sounds like he needs to forget the holiday then if he didn't pay. He may be the lead passenger but if he didn't pay on his card, he won't see a penny.

[woodyTVR]

Just trying to get my head around this.

Are you saying he has £6k in his name and she has £5k in her name?

Not being funny but £11k of lending for someone on £50k is hardly 'in dept' yes they owe it but if that's all he has it shouldn't really break the bank and be looking at bankruptcy. Consolidate and put it over 5 years and it's less than £200pm.

I'd be inclined to let the kids have their holiday but maybe suggest the MiL buys her place. They'll only use it against him to get the kids on their side.

[dhutch]

I've not experience in this at all, but surely while a kick when you are down the £11k dept and £3k holiday are a sideshow to the main story.

What is happening with the children, now their parents are splitting?


Daniel

[C70R]

dhutch said:

I've not experience in this at all, but surely while a kick when you are down the £11k dept and £3k holiday are a sideshow to the main story.

What is happening with the children, now their parents are splitting?


Daniel

This. Tragic that the conversation is all about money/debt.

[NGee]

woodyTVR said:

Just trying to get my head around this.


Not being funny but £11k of lending for someone on £50k is hardly 'in dept' yes they owe it but if that's all he has it shouldn't really break the bank and be looking at bankruptcy. Consolidate and put it over 5 years and it's less than £200pm.

I think you're missing the point, how can someone earning that much money still manage to run up £11K debts.
Whilst I agree your idea is good in theroy, I suspect in 5 years time the debt would be a lot more - not cleared.

[James P]

surveyor_101 said:

NGee said:

£50,000 per year, £11,000 in debt and a £2900 holiday booked.
It was never going to end well.
Sounds like they need a very large reality check. (Preferably without any input from the MIL)

She earns about 11 now.

No my take is a lot if it was keeping her happy.

She thought her debts would get written off leaving him and that isn't the case, she has been told by her mum who initially offered to pay them off no. Then she wanted bankruptcy butt not enough debt.

At that level of debt she’d be looking at a Debt Relief Order. It will be pretty much the same as bankruptcy in operation and effect but will be much cheaper to access. Both procedures are online only and are relatively straightforward.

She ought to think hard about consequences before applying for either. Adverse credit rating for 6 years to start with.

Edit - threshold for bankruptcy is £5k. If the debt is split, neither bankruptcy nor debt relief order are worth the consequences that will follow.

Edited by James P on Monday 4th February 23:11

[The Surveyor]

surveyor_101 said:

The mil has different surname and they pretending no relationship to the landlady?

…....

If they are playing these types of games to secure benefits, she needs to be very careful about making threats about taking your mate to court. They weren't married so your mate owes her nothing, the starting and ending point should be what the CMS says he should be paying for his children IMHO.

[Red Devil]

NGee said:

I think you're missing the point, how can someone earning that much money still manage to run up £11K debts.

Being feckless has nothing to do with how much you earn. It's a personality trait.

[NGee]

Red Devil said:

NGee said:

I think you're missing the point, how can someone earning that much money still manage to run up £11K debts.

Being feckless has nothing to do with how much you earn. It's a personality trait.

Exactly, and that is my point. The debt will only get bigger over time, not reduce.

[dhutch]

Forgot the money, how does the guy feel, what's happening with the children.

[NGee]

dhutch said:

Forgot the money, how does the guy feel, what's happening with the children.

Forget the money? Why?
The original question from the OP was about money, nothing to do with children.

[Superhoop]

This sounds like the MIL has lost her tenant, has a mortgage to pay, so has stuck her nose (and the knife) into the OP's relationship in order to get a guaranteed income for herself.. and a free holiday to boot..

She also sounds like some sort of control freak, with a daughter that has a particularly weak mind..

Good luck OP..

[Gareth79]

Superhoop said:

She also sounds like some sort of control freak, with a daughter that has a particularly weak mind..

Yes - my first thought was that the MIL wants control of her daughter back, and breaking up her relationship and putting her in the house is a perfect way to do it - and having the 'perfect' tenant is a bonus.

[theboss]

I'd say his position isn't that bad really.

Absolute worst case, he does this:

1) takes ownership of the £11k debt, all of it
2) forgets about the holiday
3) forgets about the car
4) never has the kids to stay

He's then liable for £176/week child support based on £50k gross. If he contributes to a pension and/or accommodates the children overnight routinely then that will reduce. If he has them 50/50 with a court order he doesn't pay anything, although this will require him to maintain a suitable home and have the flexibility to look after them which might conflict with work.

That might sound terrible but compared to a married scenario it's not bad at all. He comes out of this dignified, having taken full responsibility for any of the financial problems, fulfils his ongoing obligation towards the kids and doesn't even have to engage in any squabbling with the ex and her toxic mother. He'll be saving thousands by avoiding any sort of legal costs.

She has no basis to start any sort of legal proceedings against him unless they are fighting over jointly owned assets. No ancillary relief, no risk of spouse maintenance or a nasty surprise in 10 years time when he wins the lottery or inherits his parents house.

Most married people in his shoes would give anything for an instant clean break like this.

[woodyTVR]

NGee said:

woodyTVR said:

Just trying to get my head around this.


Not being funny but £11k of lending for someone on £50k is hardly 'in dept' yes they owe it but if that's all he has it shouldn't really break the bank and be looking at bankruptcy. Consolidate and put it over 5 years and it's less than £200pm.

I think you're missing the point, how can someone earning that much money still manage to run up £11K debts.
Whilst I agree your idea is good in theroy, I suspect in 5 years time the debt would be a lot more - not cleared.

Easily, £50k isn't much supporting 4 other people. OP said her car got trashed so new one was bought and she reduced to part time. They could easily rack up £11k of borrowing.

[dhutch]

woodyTVR said:

Easily, £50k isn't much supporting 4 other people. OP said her car got trashed so new one was bought and she reduced to part time. They could easily rack up £11k of borrowing.

You can run up a debt as a single person on £100k, all you need to do is consistently spend more then you earn!

[woodyTVR]

dhutch said:

woodyTVR said:

Easily, £50k isn't much supporting 4 other people. OP said her car got trashed so new one was bought and she reduced to part time. They could easily rack up £11k of borrowing.

You can run up a debt as a single person on £100k, all you need to do is consistently spend more then you earn!

But that implies recklessness and is perhaps living beyond the norm. Whereas £50k and supporting a family 5 you could live a pretty modest lifestyle and still require some lending for things like cars.

[dhutch]

woodyTVR said:

But that implies recklessness and is perhaps living beyond the norm. Whereas £50k and supporting a family 5 you could live a pretty modest lifestyle and still require some lending for things like cars.

Granted.

[PAULJ5555]

WonkeyDonkey said:

Can you really get benefits to pay rent for homes owned by family?

That seems ridiculous and wide open for lots of abuse.

I know of 2 families that have done this, maybe they used different names but never got caught.

Even if your name is Smith and you rent off a Mr Smith do they ask for proof you are not related before you receive any benefits - I very much doubt it.