Discussion
martinbiz said:
Seriously you need to go back through this and put some punctuation in and correct the typos so it makes sense
Punctuation is the last thing the thread needs. I think the OP needs some professional help. One would suggest selling his drama queen crown and investing the money into some counselling.
surveyor_101 said:
So I have had 3 out of 4 wrong calculations from the cms, they lost the court order and started making up the days I have the kids, I have 50 50 shared care, so should not be paying a small fortune but if you earn over 25k I think the incompetent staff class you as boris Johnson and assume 1300 a a month when you have buy clothes when they are yours is not problem for you! I have complained but they take 6 months and write back a load of twaddle and review the wrong calculation, not even the current calculation.
She lied several times calling them and saying I didn’t pay when I had the first few times they write to me and i have provide bank statements within 28 days. There is no ramifications for calling and making false statements. The last time they did not bother contacting me, did nothing for 5 months then sent an attachment to earnings assuming now I had built up sizeable arrears when I hadn’t. Then they forged a back dated letter to cover their bums. I have Screen shot of portal showing no pre warning letter it appeared magically when I wrote challenging it. They add 20% to your payments as well if they have to collect them.
Long and short if it was I resigned as my employer assuming how can I run multi million value contracts when I don’t pay my bills was not happy with attachment earnings. I was all set up to go freelance and my ex called them to to find she would have to wait 3 or 4 months before the cms made payments, she decided that maybe she did like my reliable reasonable payments. They she called me demanding I make payments, i of course said I these are now taken, so she promptly closed the claim down, to ensure cash flow. My payment is around half her income as she works part time so she cannot afford to go a 1/3 of year without as it pays her mums mortgage on the house she lives in soon to be sold as her step dad got fed up with this level of stress and took his own life in may.
She basically sends msg saying just to let you know I have booked to take the kids out on your weekend or in this case out of school NS if I point out it’s my weekend or she needs my agreement to take them out makes various threats like call the cms.
The cms will not take any payments I have made already into account outside of a live claim.
This sort of thing is the primary reason I gave up pursuit of a career in the legal profession. I simply can't be bothered to spend my days reading screeds of this quality. Prolix and confusing, to paraphrase a judge. She lied several times calling them and saying I didn’t pay when I had the first few times they write to me and i have provide bank statements within 28 days. There is no ramifications for calling and making false statements. The last time they did not bother contacting me, did nothing for 5 months then sent an attachment to earnings assuming now I had built up sizeable arrears when I hadn’t. Then they forged a back dated letter to cover their bums. I have Screen shot of portal showing no pre warning letter it appeared magically when I wrote challenging it. They add 20% to your payments as well if they have to collect them.
Long and short if it was I resigned as my employer assuming how can I run multi million value contracts when I don’t pay my bills was not happy with attachment earnings. I was all set up to go freelance and my ex called them to to find she would have to wait 3 or 4 months before the cms made payments, she decided that maybe she did like my reliable reasonable payments. They she called me demanding I make payments, i of course said I these are now taken, so she promptly closed the claim down, to ensure cash flow. My payment is around half her income as she works part time so she cannot afford to go a 1/3 of year without as it pays her mums mortgage on the house she lives in soon to be sold as her step dad got fed up with this level of stress and took his own life in may.
She basically sends msg saying just to let you know I have booked to take the kids out on your weekend or in this case out of school NS if I point out it’s my weekend or she needs my agreement to take them out makes various threats like call the cms.
The cms will not take any payments I have made already into account outside of a live claim.
Edited by surveyor_101 on Wednesday 23 November 19:59
A definite question posed in simple English gets one a long way in life.
sospan said:
Get a copy of the court order. You said it was “lost”.
Who lost it?
Get back to the court for details. Then comply with the order. I assume the OP is complying, if so then is his ex?
The court order is a more rigid agreement thanone simply agreed to between the parties informally.
CMS claimed they never had it however i had calculations mentioning it, the incompetence is unbelievable they then stated to send it and took almost 5 months to recalculate the claim and again it was wrong, I believe someone has worked out CMS are causing male suicides! Who lost it?
Get back to the court for details. Then comply with the order. I assume the OP is complying, if so then is his ex?
The court order is a more rigid agreement thanone simply agreed to between the parties informally.
I have had a phone call with her today first she stated she wanted to use the cms so she can use the income to apply for a mortgage, i have offered a formal agreement but she has msg since she wishes to keep the money separate to her income for the girls aside, she changes her argument like the wind so it's very hard to agree anything with her.
She sobs n court and plays the victim I can refer her to court but it's a waste of time, last time I got a solicitor to write to her she accused of stalking and following her into work, she works in a hospital in a maternity ward it easy to check cameras to confirm that its rubbish the police know she tells porkies.
She wants annual increases in the money as apparently 2 holidays a year on part wages work is hard going she dropped her hours to part time recently!
She also wants annual increases.
Edited by surveyor_101 on Thursday 24th November 13:47
carl_w said:
With inflation running at 10% I'm not surprised
Yeh I have not had a 10% increased in pay, she has gone part time this year limiting her income so she is basically asking me to pick up the tab, she buys the Girls hunter welly’s she got a 2000k puppy in sept she burning money and expecting me to fund itSo difficult to read and understand, but I did spot you said you had 50/50 shared care. If that's for all your kids then you should pay nothing at all in terms of child maintenance. Which should make the following all moot - but I gather from your post that you are paying direct to the ex a value that's been calculated through the CMS.
Not sure where the comment about annual increases comes from. if you are paying child maintenance to the value of the CMS calculation it goes by your declared earnings that CMS have access to via HMRC - nothing to do with inflation.
Are you confusing a consent order which may well note an annual increase? If you are then a CMS agreement overrides any consent order you have in place.
In my case, I was relieved when I went through the CMS rather than relying on my initial consent order - I have zero contact with my ex now, and the random demands/threats of going to court because she or the kids want an expensive holiday have ceased.
Not sure where the comment about annual increases comes from. if you are paying child maintenance to the value of the CMS calculation it goes by your declared earnings that CMS have access to via HMRC - nothing to do with inflation.
Are you confusing a consent order which may well note an annual increase? If you are then a CMS agreement overrides any consent order you have in place.
In my case, I was relieved when I went through the CMS rather than relying on my initial consent order - I have zero contact with my ex now, and the random demands/threats of going to court because she or the kids want an expensive holiday have ceased.
surveyor_101 said:
Yeh I have not had a 10% increased in pay, she has gone part time this year limiting her income so she is basically asking me to pick up the tab, she buys the Girls hunter welly’s she got a 2000k puppy in sept she burning money and expecting me to fund it
Wouldn’t want to clean up after that pup…
Cold said:
You need some proper legal help with this from a family solicitor. As hilarious as these PH "comedians" are on this thread, they can't offer you the legal advice you need.
It's a waste of time women are king in my local family court! 4k to get an order she ignores the cms lose!What i need is her to be reasonable but half the issue seems to be her new bf doesn't want to have to think or see me!
QBee said:
As this is (mostly) a motoring forum, I think the answer to this problem might be to borrow a DeLorean from Back to the Future, and go back far enough in time for a vasectomy to be an effective solution.
sounds like a plan although missing my kids might be an issue!Have thought about ending it to be honest but its not the kids fault, her step dad clearly had enough!
surveyor_101 said:
QBee said:
As this is (mostly) a motoring forum, I think the answer to this problem might be to borrow a DeLorean from Back to the Future, and go back far enough in time for a vasectomy to be an effective solution.
sounds like a plan although missing my kids might be an issue!Have thought about ending it to be honest but its not the kids fault, her step dad clearly had enough!
Try to hang on in there and make some sense of it if you can.
10 years ago my daughter, son in law and kids aged 4 and 1 turned up at our house with 2 days warning. With all their clothes etc.
We lived in a 3 bedroom bungalow at the time.
After 6 months we sold our dream bungalow (it came with 8 acres and 6 stables for our horses), and moved further away from my work in order to find a three bedroom house we could afford with a separate 2 bedroom granny annexe.
10 years later they have just moved out.
Huge sigh of relief.
We have done the right thing, the parents' marriage is still intact - it had been heading for the financial (and mother-in-law stress) rocks - and the kids have had a good and safe childhood.
Do we miss them? Well, now that we have got our life and peace and quiet back, next move is to sell the house, followed by leaving the country.
But I will always treasure the memories.
Like the look on my grand-daughter's face when I have to remind her in public that I have changed her nappies on more than one occasion. And reminding my grandson that going for a number 2 is known by me and Gran as going for a Harry, after he came back (aged 7) from a week's holiday with Nanna in a strop - when asked why, he said "Nanna called me a little [sierra hotel india tango]". Bang on, Nanna, seen through him at last.
EmailAddress said:
Yellow Lizud said:
Skellum said:
TheDrownedApe said:
surveyor_101 said:
So in order to be guilty of blackmail can you threaten to do something if I don’t agree to something else.
<snip>
yes<snip>
dodsi2000 said:
EmailAddress said:
Yellow Lizud said:
Skellum said:
TheDrownedApe said:
surveyor_101 said:
So in order to be guilty of blackmail can you threaten to do something if I don’t agree to something else.
<snip>
yes<snip>
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