Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
bristolracer said:
I've often said on this thread 'chin up, it will get better' there is life post divorce and generally it's a better life than you had before.
This all day long. It’s so so difficult when you’re knee deep in divorce misery to see that you’ll ever be happy again.
I’m now happier than I’ve ever been by a long stretch.
bristolracer said:
Depends on your divorce really.
I would have loved some support from anyone,even internet strangers, when I found myself on anti depressants, unemployed lying on the sofa all day,afraid to answer the door and finally taking an overdose which was then used against me as another reason why I wasnt fit to see my children.
Some have it easier than others, its good you didnt need so much support,but many many do.
Guess you didn't see it coming? Mine was a gradual breakdown and was on the cards for a while.I would have loved some support from anyone,even internet strangers, when I found myself on anti depressants, unemployed lying on the sofa all day,afraid to answer the door and finally taking an overdose which was then used against me as another reason why I wasnt fit to see my children.
Some have it easier than others, its good you didnt need so much support,but many many do.
Glad you are ok now
wiliferus said:
bristolracer said:
I've often said on this thread 'chin up, it will get better' there is life post divorce and generally it's a better life than you had before.
This all day long. It’s so so difficult when you’re knee deep in divorce misery to see that you’ll ever be happy again.
I’m now happier than I’ve ever been by a long stretch.
I am going through a situation of my own and have been reading this thread for the last 2 months, may be brave enough one day to post it on here.. not today though.
To anyone reading this thinking that you just can't fight it anymore and you can't do it, I promise you have greatness within you that you can't see yet and this will get easier, things have to get worse before they will get better, it will all be worth it, hang in there!
wiliferus said:
This all day long.
It’s so so difficult when you’re knee deep in divorce misery to see that you’ll ever be happy again.
I’m now happier than I’ve ever been by a long stretch.
Hi Wilferus i was only asking about you a few months back .It’s so so difficult when you’re knee deep in divorce misery to see that you’ll ever be happy again.
I’m now happier than I’ve ever been by a long stretch.
I seem to recall you took your ex back but things were still not right?
Sounds like you've moved on well
FocusRS3 said:
Hi Wilferus i was only asking about you a few months back .
I seem to recall you took your ex back but things were still not right?
Sounds like you've moved on well
Crikey, that’s going back some. Yes I went back... huge mistake. Left again. Followed by two years of pain and misery (kids involved and I really struggled not being a family unit with them). I seem to recall you took your ex back but things were still not right?
Sounds like you've moved on well
Eventually for a variety of reasons came out the other side. Decree absolute cake through 2 months ago, and I’m now with an amazing young lady.
It was one hell of a journey that saw me on anti depressants and seriously considering very bad things.
I’m now happy, but crucially the kids are settled and love coming to my place, I see a lot of them, and have a really strong bond with them.
The ex has also moved on and is apparently happy.
So a happy ending to a story I suppose.
wiliferus said:
Crikey, that’s going back some. Yes I went back... huge mistake. Left again. Followed by two years of pain and misery (kids involved and I really struggled not being a family unit with them).
Eventually for a variety of reasons came out the other side. Decree absolute cake through 2 months ago, and I’m now with an amazing young lady.
It was one hell of a journey that saw me on anti depressants and seriously considering very bad things.
I’m now happy, but crucially the kids are settled and love coming to my place, I see a lot of them, and have a really strong bond with them.
The ex has also moved on and is apparently happy.
So a happy ending to a story I suppose.
Good for you it did seem a very torturous situation but glad you are back on track Eventually for a variety of reasons came out the other side. Decree absolute cake through 2 months ago, and I’m now with an amazing young lady.
It was one hell of a journey that saw me on anti depressants and seriously considering very bad things.
I’m now happy, but crucially the kids are settled and love coming to my place, I see a lot of them, and have a really strong bond with them.
The ex has also moved on and is apparently happy.
So a happy ending to a story I suppose.
elanfan said:
Johnny Raydome said:
Can you imagine just how wonderful it would be if Mrs FR read these forums.
Whilst it might prove entertaining to you I’m not sure FR would agree with you and I’m certain you wouldn’t like it were you in his shoes.I've been through the extremely painful, lengthy and expensive process of divorce myself and I don't remember laughing very much at the time (nor since) about the experience.
My comment was a gentle leg-pull. If FR wishes to share the details of his marital discord online, I can't stop him.
I don't think I've been nasty or vindictive.
Anyway:
techiedave said:
I'm sure that FR will find the confidence to keep his chin up in this situation
Right on, Bruv 
bristolracer said:
Depends on your divorce really.
I would have loved some support from anyone,even internet strangers, when I found myself on anti depressants, unemployed lying on the sofa all day,afraid to answer the door and finally taking an overdose which was then used against me as another reason why I wasnt fit to see my children.
Some have it easier than others, its good you didnt need so much support,but many many do.
Agreed, if support is offered then it's always best to at least make a connection, becasue if you dont need it there and then you will need it at some part of the process. I would have loved some support from anyone,even internet strangers, when I found myself on anti depressants, unemployed lying on the sofa all day,afraid to answer the door and finally taking an overdose which was then used against me as another reason why I wasnt fit to see my children.
Some have it easier than others, its good you didnt need so much support,but many many do.
I'd have been lost without the support i received, whether it be from guys / boss at work easing up workload and giving me an outlet to vent, or my best mate taking me out to get wasted to forget it all. It was all needed at some point.
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
Yep.
For those going through it, take comfort in the expectation of better times ahead.
Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
The new Mrs H is younger, more attractive, has bigger knockers and a motorbike licence.
I have a great relationship with my kids. I even get on well with the ex.
My first marriage lasted just short of 20 years.
The first 18 months post separation were hard work, particularly from a financial point of view, and seeing the kids unhappy was horrible.
But my only real regret is not doing it sooner. My ex and I were flogging a dead horse for a few years before we finally admitted defeat and five years on life is much sweeter.
For those going through it, take comfort in the expectation of better times ahead.
Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
The new Mrs H is younger, more attractive, has bigger knockers and a motorbike licence.
I have a great relationship with my kids. I even get on well with the ex.
My first marriage lasted just short of 20 years.
The first 18 months post separation were hard work, particularly from a financial point of view, and seeing the kids unhappy was horrible.
But my only real regret is not doing it sooner. My ex and I were flogging a dead horse for a few years before we finally admitted defeat and five years on life is much sweeter.
mr_spock said:
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
Congratulations and best of luck to you.So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
I remarried last year only 2 years after my nightmare divorce. Our three daughters (2 from my first marriage and 1 from hers) aged 10-15 get on perfectly well, and we have a baby son due in the new year who will complete our family unit (I’ll be making sure of that).
It’s a totally different relationship just as you have described your own. Hopefully I’ll be able to say the same in 5,10,20 years time etc.
Pat H said:
Yep.
Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
The new Mrs H is younger, more attractive, has bigger knockers and a motorbike licence.
Thats great news!Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
The new Mrs H is younger, more attractive, has bigger knockers and a motorbike licence.
Next you'll be saying she can do an oil change, plugs and filters and is a scratch golfer!
Now that would be perfect
mr_spock said:
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
...
It's still getting better, slowly.
Great news, good to hear things moving in the right direction. Wishing you all the best for the future, live long and prosper. ...
It's still getting better, slowly.
mr_spock said:
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
Pat H said:
Yep.
For those going through it, take comfort in the expectation of better times ahead.
Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
For those going through it, take comfort in the expectation of better times ahead.
Five years after my divorce I find myself remarried.
theboss said:
Congratulations and best of luck to you.
I remarried last year only 2 years after my nightmare divorce. Our three daughters (2 from my first marriage and 1 from hers) aged 10-15 get on perfectly well, and we have a baby son due in the new year who will complete our family unit (I’ll be making sure of that).
It’s a totally different relationship just as you have described your own. Hopefully I’ll be able to say the same in 5,10,20 years time etc.
Congratulations, especially theboss. I remember your posts on the divorce - quite a remarkable turn around to be comfortable in such a serious new relationship quite soon after the messy split.I remarried last year only 2 years after my nightmare divorce. Our three daughters (2 from my first marriage and 1 from hers) aged 10-15 get on perfectly well, and we have a baby son due in the new year who will complete our family unit (I’ll be making sure of that).
It’s a totally different relationship just as you have described your own. Hopefully I’ll be able to say the same in 5,10,20 years time etc.
I've been single for for over 4 years now (we weren't married, so I didn't even have the added complication of an ugly divorce). But not so much as a sniff of a new relationship despite being totally over the ex and ready to move on.
mr_spock said:
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
Congratulations mrspock, glad things are a lot better. So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
Congrats mr spock, I remember reading your posts so it's great to hear you're largely out the other side and happy.
My decree nisi is due to be pronounced 2 weeks today, then it's onto consent and clean break order plus absolut application. So far so amicable, hope it continues, and maybe will all be done early 2020 which should mean a good start to the year.
My decree nisi is due to be pronounced 2 weeks today, then it's onto consent and clean break order plus absolut application. So far so amicable, hope it continues, and maybe will all be done early 2020 which should mean a good start to the year.
Thanks guys. The kids are still dealing with the fallout which I don't want to minimise, and I still have reactions to other people including my intended which I've learned over the course of my marriage, but I'm trying to support them as best I can and re-educate myself! I still have dark days, but they're much less frequent.
mjb1 said:
Congratulations, especially theboss. I remember your posts on the divorce - quite a remarkable turn around to be comfortable in such a serious new relationship quite soon after the messy split.
I've been single for for over 4 years now (we weren't married, so I didn't even have the added complication of an ugly divorce). But not so much as a sniff of a new relationship despite being totally over the ex and ready to move on.
Thanks. I don’t see it so much as a disaster now - more of a character building experience. I try not to think of the financial destruction and waste, and instead feel glad I was “released” in my mid thirties instead of 20 years later in life. Each monthly maintenance payment brings me closer to absolute clean break and discharge of my obligations. I have met a much better woman and am also a better person, partner and parent. My practise wife set me up for a great future, for all she cost.I've been single for for over 4 years now (we weren't married, so I didn't even have the added complication of an ugly divorce). But not so much as a sniff of a new relationship despite being totally over the ex and ready to move on.
Edited by theboss on Friday 4th October 20:01
mr_spock said:
Hi all, thought I'd check in a little over 2 years from my divorce. I'd been afraid of the financial consequences, having to move further from friends and family to afford somewhere, losing my relationship with my kids and so on - I posted a fair bit earlier in this thread.
So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
Pft, sat with a friend and chatted.So two years on... I'm financially better off than I've been in a long time. I'm not flush with cash (I wish!) but without someone else spending I've been able to economise and prioritise as I see fit. I havent been overdrawn once, nor have I had a horrible unexpected credit card bill! Which is nice.
Living where I do now, I'm in a friendly village community with great local services, and still see friends. I've been putting crazy mileage on the car though, and the driving gets a bit much at times, but it's bearable. It's lucky I work from home though, but I could commute to London if I had to.
My relationships with my kids seems better than ever. I won't go into details, but we're pretty close and can talk about pretty much anything, which is pretty great when you have late-teens!
I also met a great girlfriend about 18 months ago. It started slowly, we've had our "moments" but we actually discuss things, resolve disagreements amicably and have a laugh. We're quite different in many ways, but we're happy to do things together but also have our own interests. In fact, it's all gone so well we're getting married in January! And my kids (and hers) have given their approval - well, so far, long may that continue.
I know I'm very lucky to have got out more or less well. My counsellor has been amazing, my mates also, you guys really helped (thanks Don1), but I still have issues to deal with. It's still getting better, slowly.
I am so very, very glad to hear there's light at the end of the tunnel, a smile on your face and light around you. Hold on, that sounds like you're dying...
Seriously though, proud of you. Nice one.
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