Chinese Moon Landing Mission Launched Today
Chinese Moon Landing Mission Launched Today
Author
Discussion

Pints

18,448 posts

213 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
(I wonder who the astronauts would have been?)
I'd like to imagine one would have been the spitting image of Basil Fawlty. He'd even have had a moan that the weather wasn't as promised.

Pints

18,448 posts

213 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
That's it! The two British Astronauts would have been MBH and Eric Mc.

MBH would have been recently retired and keen (if that's an emotion he's familiar with) to stifle the boredom, while a bright-eyed Eric would have been just about ready to move on from his fulltime hobby of trainspotting, having recently completed his articles.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

274 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
If you think I'm going in a space craft made from compressed grass aluminium substitute and eating monkey brains in space, you've got another think coming, you monumental cad....irked

Pints

18,448 posts

213 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
You need to learn to live a little.



And then die in the vacuum of space. (I suspect Eric will be along shortly to tell me space isn't technically a vacuum.)

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

274 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Pints said:
You need to learn to live a little. And then die in the vacuum of space.
Oh, thanks. I hope you break out in spots...

Ray Luxury-Yacht

8,918 posts

235 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Eric Mc said:
According to Chinese legend, a giant rabbit lives on the moon.
I fear they are going to be disappointed.
Or they might find this:



biggrin


Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Arhur C Clarke's 1950s novel "Prelude to Space" is about a largely British lunar landing.

The British Interplanetary Society published a paper on a possible manned lunar landing mission in the 1930s with a follow up paper just after World War 2.

NASA studied these published papers very carefully when devising Apollo in the early 1960s.

jmorgan

36,010 posts

303 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Somehow I have the British astronauts in BBC issue brown dust coats and a pipe clenched between the teeth going down to the surface in a lift.

Some Gump

13,006 posts

205 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
You're all way off the mark.
The first british astronaut would have been fred dibnah, chosen for his ability to fix the thing if it wen't wrong.
They also had an eye on budget, and fred could supply his own space suit. All he needed was a couple of laccy bands round tge arms and legs - the blue boilersuit was 95% grease so was gas tight anyway.

Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Two very important elements of the Apollo spacesuit were essentially British designs (which NASA are very happy to acknowledge) - the water coolant system which prevented the astronaut from overheating during an EVA and the soft "Snoopy" helmet which contained the headphones and microphone set.

The former had been developed at Farnborough (a prototype of the cooling garment is on display at the FAST Museum) and the communications helmet had been developed in the 1950s for the V Bomber crews. USAF pilots who had been seconded to the RAF in the 50s and 60s had sent back very favourable reports on the British "hat" and recommended that NASA look at the design for wearing under the helmet of a space suit. They still use a version of it today.

Here's Buzz Aldrin suiting up on the morning of the Apollo 11 launch wearing his Snoopy Hat -


Simpo Two

90,214 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
The question about who the British astronauts would have been was actually a serious one - presumably they'd have been the top test pilots of the day. Who were the likely candidates in, say, 1960? Would we have had Cunningham, Duke (not Charlie but Neville) and Brown, instead of Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins (all made redundant when the Apollo program was scrapped)?

Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Eric "Winkle" Brown on the moon - now there's a thought.

He could have paraphrased Pete Conrad's famous words on stepping off the LM ladder (said in a strong Scottish accent of course) -

"That may have been a wee small step for Neil, but it was loooonng step for me".

Simpo Two

90,214 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
"That may have been a wee small step for Neil, but it was loooonng step for me".
hehe

And being small, he would save fuel - unless he made up for it with extra sandwiches.

Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Very British.

Make sure you bring your packed lunch.

MartG

22,096 posts

223 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Imagine a British moon landing, with mission control in Yorkshire

Astronaut "Tranquillity base here - t'Eagle has landed"
Mission Control "Champion"


And

"That's one small step for a man, but a big jump for my whippet"

smile

Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
On leaving the LM - "Don't shut t'door".

And on the first steps on the lunar surface - "Ayup lads, it's reet booncy 'ere".

Caruso

Original Poster:

7,500 posts

275 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
A British moon landing would have consisted of a titled officer and his batman. There would have been seperate compartments for officers and enlisted men in the LM. Capt. Sir Fortesque-Smyth would have done all the important flag planting and posing for photos, while Sgt Baldrick would have generally skivvied for him and done all the difficult technical stuff.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

274 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
On leaving the LM - "Don't shut t'door".

And on the first steps on the lunar surface - "Ayup lads, it's reet booncy 'ere".
Nice try Eric, but booncy is not from Yorkshire...rofl

Eric Mc

124,332 posts

284 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
There were two men on each Lunar Module.

No reason why one couldn't have been a Geordie.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

274 months

Saturday 7th December 2013
quotequote all
Epic recovery.....claphehe