Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Ali2202 said:
Usget said:
davhill said:
ApOrbital said:
She stood at the bridge at midnight,
her lips were all a quiver,
she gave a cough
her head fell off,
and floated down the river.
Copyright Eric Morecambe, 19-whatever. But it was her leg, not head. Nothing like the old ones.her lips were all a quiver,
she gave a cough
her head fell off,
and floated down the river.
ApOrbital said:
She stood at the bridge at midnight,
her lips were all a quiver,
she gave a cough
her head fell off,
and floated down the river.
For any old matelots, remember our version :-her lips were all a quiver,
she gave a cough
her head fell off,
and floated down the river.
She stood on the bridge at midnight
picking blackheads out her
she said "Jack Ive never had it"
he said "No not f
king much"Sticks. said:
Hugo a Gogo said:
works better like this
That's neat.ApOrbital said:
My mate sent me a text last night:
"who sang that's neat, that's neat, that's neat I really love your Tiger Feet?"
"MUD", I quickly replied.
"thats right, thats right, thats right, thats right".....
"who sang that's neat, that's neat, that's neat I really love your Tiger Feet?"
"MUD", I quickly replied.
"thats right, thats right, thats right, thats right".....
Vipers said:
Sticks. said:
Hugo a Gogo said:
works better like this
That's neat.ApOrbital said:
My mate sent me a text last night:
"who sang that's neat, that's neat, that's neat I really love your Tiger Feet?"
"MUD", I quickly replied.
"thats right, thats right, thats right, thats right".....
"who sang that's neat, that's neat, that's neat I really love your Tiger Feet?"
"MUD", I quickly replied.
"thats right, thats right, thats right, thats right".....
A delightful young lady named Hilda
Started up an affiar with a builder
She said that he could
and he would and he should
And he did, and he bloody nigh killed her
There was a young plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
She said 'someones coming'
said the plumber, still plumbing
'If anyones coming, it's me'
Started up an affiar with a builder
She said that he could
and he would and he should
And he did, and he bloody nigh killed her
There was a young plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
She said 'someones coming'
said the plumber, still plumbing
'If anyones coming, it's me'
Ali2202 said:
What are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do now?
Research it of course. Apparently, the skits were on the 1826 poem Casabianca (not Casablanca) by Felicia Hemans.
Spike Milligan also parodied the opening of the poem:[6]
The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled -
Twit!
Eric Morecambe created two other parodies:
The boy stood on the burning deck
His lips were all a-quiver
He gave a cough, his leg fell off
And floated down the river.
And...
The boy stood on the burning deck
His feet were full of blisters
He climbed aloft, his pants fell off
And now he wears his sister's.
,
But I recall it, from the M&W show (in black and white) as...
She stood upon the winsdwept bridge,
her legs were all a-quiver.
She gave a cough, her leg fell off,
and floated down the river.
Sources: http://wikivisually.com/wiki/Casabianca_(poem), my memory.
An American tourists wanders up the bell tower in Notre Dame and sees Quasimodo standing by the bell.
Tourists ask Quassi what he is up to, he says "I am about to ring the bell", at that he smashes his face into the bell, the bell sways, rings and bounces back, quassi again shoves it away with his face.
Tourists asks if he can have a go, Quassi says "Of course"
So the tourists smashes his face into the bell, the bell sways, rings and bounces back hitting the tourists knocking him over the edge and he plumits to the ground below.
Quassi makes his was down from the bell tower, a crowd has gathered around the tourists laying on the ground.
As Quassi reaches the tourists someone says "Anyone know who he is"
Quassi says "I don't know his name but his face rings a bell"
Tourists ask Quassi what he is up to, he says "I am about to ring the bell", at that he smashes his face into the bell, the bell sways, rings and bounces back, quassi again shoves it away with his face.
Tourists asks if he can have a go, Quassi says "Of course"
So the tourists smashes his face into the bell, the bell sways, rings and bounces back hitting the tourists knocking him over the edge and he plumits to the ground below.
Quassi makes his was down from the bell tower, a crowd has gathered around the tourists laying on the ground.
As Quassi reaches the tourists someone says "Anyone know who he is"
Quassi says "I don't know his name but his face rings a bell"
Evangelion said:
The version I heard was that as the body was lying on the ground somebody asked, "Is that Quasimodo?", and somebody else replied, "No, but it's a dead ringer."
It's a two part joke. In Pt2 his brother replaces him, dies in similar circumstances and the punchline is "I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother".Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff