Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
Trophy Husband said:
GOATever said:
Some Guy said:
Amazon have admitted their new drone delivery system may be faulty after a man in Clapham ordered a spade...
Oof. That will get the professionally offended brigade soiling themselves.Trophy Husband said:
Some Guy said:
Amazon have admitted their new drone delivery system may be faulty after a man in Clapham ordered a spade...
Sick and not funny. Also about as racist as one could be.Can you just imagine if your life was that cr4p that you thought that you'd hedge your very life on climbing into the landing gear space of a jet that flies to 6 miles above the earth, with all of your worldly belongings, expecting to survive at minus 30 degrees with zero oxygen?
I suggest you quit PH now because I for one am appalled by your 'contribution'.
It raised a chuckle here, I must say.
Monkeylegend said:
Trophy Husband said:
GOATever said:
Some Guy said:
Amazon have admitted their new drone delivery system may be faulty after a man in Clapham ordered a spade...
Oof. That will get the professionally offended brigade soiling themselves.
Monkeylegend said:
But he only tried to tell a "joke".
Yes, but he didn’t run it past Big Brother, and Ingsock, rookie mistake.Yes, Some Guy seriously pushed the envelope, but sick and not funny?
Sick yes, but sick and/or racist jokes have been around for years, most people don’t think that the world has ended if they hear one.
You might say, “Bit near the mark that”, then move on, but even if you’re “appalled”, where do you get off suggesting that a poster quit the Forum for posting it?
All this reminds me of when I wrote a piece for the rifle club I attend. I wrote about The Puckle Gun, which could fire both roundshot and square 'bullets. The latter were to be used against Turkish Muslims to convince them of the benefits of a Christian upbringing.
Then, the club t
t accused me of being racist!
Fot quoting from James Puckle's patent of 1718? FFS.
It made my mind up. No more articles for the club page.
Then, the club t
t accused me of being racist!Fot quoting from James Puckle's patent of 1718? FFS.
It made my mind up. No more articles for the club page.
havoc said:
Frank7 said:
phazed said:
Paul Khaya said:
Hilarious !!
I'd like to know why he was really being arrested.
Just looks Northern.........I'd like to know why he was really being arrested.
Trophy Husband said:
Can you just imagine if your life was that cr4p that you thought that you'd hedge your very life on climbing into the landing gear space of a jet that flies to 6 miles above the earth, with all of your worldly belongings, expecting to survive at minus 30 degrees with zero oxygen?
His family said he had always been a blue sky thinker, and was going to theUK for a flying visit. Frank7 said:
Monkeylegend said:
But he only tried to tell a "joke".
Yes, but he didn’t run it past Big Brother, and Ingsock, rookie mistake.Yes, Some Guy seriously pushed the envelope, but sick and not funny?
Sick yes, but sick and/or racist jokes have been around for years, most people don’t think that the world has ended if they hear one.
You might say, “Bit near the mark that”, then move on, but even if you’re “appalled”, where do you get off suggesting that a poster quit the Forum for posting it?
Trophy Husband said:
Can you just imagine if your life was that cr4p that you thought that you'd hedge your very life on climbing into the landing gear space of a jet that flies to 6 miles above the earth, with all of your worldly belongings, expecting to survive at minus 30 degrees with zero oxygen?
The outside air temperature at a typical cruising altitude of 35,000 feet is -60°F or -51°C.This is academic because the available space in an aircraft undercarriage bay is minimal, the stowaway was almost certainly doomed to being crushed as soon as the landing gear was retracted. If he was still alive after that, anoxia would have started to affect him above 15,000 feet and death would take him as the altitude steadily increased.
So zero chance of survival.
All in all, if you count the fall from 3,000+ feet, that's four quite horrific ways to go.
Even if you're a racist, it's not really a matter for mirth, is it?
I can understand a bit of gallows humour, but there should be a limit.
I mean, that was far worse than having frozen sausages hammered into your lawn.
Anybody got any good jokes?
Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 4th July 23:24
davhill said:
Dick Turpin was quite relieved at his trial to be given a suspended sentence.
However, on the day...
Gallows humour.
So they were just stringing him along? However, on the day...
Gallows humour.
What happened to Black Bess? ( Are we allowed to call her that? )
Why did they need two carts?
Why did they need three people atop the frame, with just a dodgy ladder at a crazy angle? What if one of them were to fall? Somebody below could be injured. To be safe, they should have erected a scaffold. Who carried out the risk assessment? Where was the Health and Safety inspector? There is so much wrong in that picture.
glenrobbo said:
So they were just stringing him along?
What happened to Black Bess? ( Are we allowed to call her that? )
Why did they need two carts?
Why did they need three people atop the frame, with just a dodgy ladder at a crazy angle? What if one of them were to fall? Somebody below could be injured. To be safe, they should have erected a scaffold. Who carried out the risk assessment? Where was the Health and Safety inspector? There is so much wrong in that picture.
Those were the good old days before health and safety ruined the fun of falling off a ladder or scaffold.What happened to Black Bess? ( Are we allowed to call her that? )
Why did they need two carts?
Why did they need three people atop the frame, with just a dodgy ladder at a crazy angle? What if one of them were to fall? Somebody below could be injured. To be safe, they should have erected a scaffold. Who carried out the risk assessment? Where was the Health and Safety inspector? There is so much wrong in that picture.
Trophy Husband said:
GOATever said:
Some Guy said:
Amazon have admitted their new drone delivery system may be faulty after a man in Clapham ordered a spade...
Oof. That will get the professionally offended brigade soiling themselves.glenrobbo said:
Trophy Husband said:
Can you just imagine if your life was that cr4p that you thought that you'd hedge your very life on climbing into the landing gear space of a jet that flies to 6 miles above the earth, with all of your worldly belongings, expecting to survive at minus 30 degrees with zero oxygen?
The outside air temperature at a typical cruising altitude of 35,000 feet is -60°F or -51°C.This is academic because the available space in an aircraft undercarriage bay is minimal, the stowaway was almost certainly doomed to being crushed as soon as the landing gear was retracted. If he was still alive after that, anoxia would have started to affect him above 15,000 feet and death would take him as the altitude steadily increased.
So zero chance of survival.
All in all, if you count the fall from 3,000+ feet, that's four quite horrific ways to go.
Even if you're a racist, it's not really a matter for mirth, is it?
I can understand a bit of gallows humour, but there should be a limit.
I mean, that was far worse than having frozen sausages hammered into your lawn.
Anybody got any good jokes?
Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 4th July 23:24
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