"40 over small crest, seven left slippy, don't cut, opens and mid over small crests into two right."
I'd known this was how the first corners on my first WRC stage were going to go. I'd read, practised, annotated and reread the pace notes. I'd made lists and schedules, and checked, double-checked and triple-checked them. But right now, a shiny new set of Kumho R800 175/65 R14s on the car, helmet on, strapped in and queueing for the first stage, any pre-rally elation had morphed into a screwed-up bundle of nerves.
Of course, the plan to compete in the 2015 Network Q WRGB National Rally had been hatched months before. An off-the-cuff suggestion from driver James Newbould in April after our first road rally together was followed by the exciting confirmation of our entry in September, then a flurry of organisation and spannering by James and father Derek to prepare the 2004 1.8-litre Vauxhall Corsa for what lay ahead.
Which was why even unrelenting rain couldn't make the trundle up and over the ceremonial start ramp in Llandudno anything other than very special. Because once a year, us mere grassroots rallyists have a chance to compete alongside the world's best, on some of the WRC's most iconic stages.
Back in Hafren Forest the following day, heavy rain turned into hail which gave way to sunshine. We'd witnessed four seasons of weather in a few minutes and nerves were now tinged with frustration; still we were waiting. Then the news came that the stage was cancelled.
As disappointments go, that was pretty epic. But the extra thinking time helped with the nerves. So as we sat on the start line of SS2, the world-famous Sweet Lamb, and I started the countdown, for the first time I actually felt ready.
Rain turns to hail giving way to sunshine
The clock hit zero and the next three minutes and four seconds went by in a flash. It's amazing how when it's time to go, something clicks and you slot automatically into the roles you know so well. Short but very sweet, the moment we landed the jump and crossed the flying finish, a wave of relief washed over our car. We'd finished our first WRC stage.
Onto Myherin, which at 18.78 miles was going to be a much sterner test. James's aim was to keep us sunny side up. Mine was to not get lost in the notes and to settle into a rhythm - timing is everything.
24 minutes and 46.1 seconds later we passed the flying finish and it felt we were making progress. It turned out I'd been oblivious to a number of large moments we'd had. And we'd parted company with the Corsa's nearside rear mudflap. But we'd reached the end of day one.
First forestry stage was 'awesome'
Day two of running a high-speed office started with something of an anomaly: Chirk Castle. Not only was this one of the few tarmac stages, it was also one the national crews tackled before the WRC big boys. As WRGB was James's first gravel rally, he'd very much been looking forward to the familiarity of tarmac. Indeed, straight away from my seat he felt very at home here - neat and quick.
It was back into the forests for the rest of the day and on the drive to Gartheiniog (SS9), the weather began to close in. Snuggled in the Corsa my assessment was simple: awesome. This stage also marked a small victory for me as it was the first forestry stage where I didn't stumble or get lost in the notes! With nerves subsiding and confidence growing, we made the short drive to Dyfi. 16.07 miles later, I was exhausted, exhilarated, giggling and out of breath - and I'd 'only' been reading the notes! From start to finish it was wet, slippy and rough, the windscreen wipers working overtime and James working wonders next to me, underlined by the number of cars we saw strewn at the sides of the stage.
'Exhilarated, giggling and out of breath'
A brief stop on the following road section to cable tie a guard into place and it was time for more of the same, albeit with a bit more smooth, in Dyfnant. This time, I was more than aware that we'd had a few 'moments', but this soon paled into insignificance after the day's final stage, Aberhirnant.
It had been gusty and raining heavily all day. Coupled with the sunshine and hailstones of the previous day, we really were having all of the weather. At once. Light was fading fast when we reached the stage start at around 4:30pm. We'd been asked several times why the Corsa was wearing spotlights when many other cars weren't, but now no one doubted that decision. Dense patches of fog meant seeing anything, let alone the corner you're entering, was close to impossible. How James got us through when I couldn't see the corners I was calling, I do not know - and hats off to the marshals and plucky spectators still out there when we came through!
Plenty of mud and wind made it interesting
Come the end of day two, James had managed to damage my side of the car - typical! Now minus the nearside front wheel arch trim, the return to service was also a chance to swap the front Kumhos for a fresh set, to tighten one of the Avo suspension top mounts that had worked loose after a punishing day, to rebend the exhaust hangers, to scrape piles of mud out of the wheels and to top up the screen wash. Knackered, we went to sleep with warnings of gale force winds.
Indeed, early on Sunday morning, news came in that all stages would run, but high winds meant spectators weren't allowed on Great Orme. And as we made our way through the day's first stage, the fast Alwen, filled with crests and jumps, I was amazed at the number of spectators out in these ghastly conditions. The number of cars off in the stage was also a timely reminder - this was the final day, we just wanted to finish. And I was pleased that in liberating the Corsa's offside wheel arch trim and side skirt, James had finally inflicted damage on his side of the car!
Enjoying the tarmac stage at Chirk Castle
Down to the unbelievable sunshine of Llandudno and we were ready to tackle the famous Great Orme. Kerb-lined, this deceptively tricky 2.95-mile stage was soon dispatched with and we could enjoy a quick breather at the regroup. After months of prep, nerves, excitement and build up, we had only one stage to go before we could say that, yes, we'd managed to finish a round of the World Rally Championship. What could possibly go wrong?
Just 6.61 miles of wet and windy Brenig lay before us. We'd been told that if we'd thought other stages were rough, we'd seen nothing. And those warnings were spot on, plenty of cars off proving that the big rocks were ready to bite, though in the end it was a head-on interface with a chicane. Ouch. With the car still running, the gauges looking healthy and my notes retrieved from the footwell, we carried on.
Powered by a potent combination of adrenaline, caffeine, Percy Pigs and Tunnock's Teacakes, we might've remodelled the front of the mighty Corsa, but we'd finished Wales Rally GB! Taking the ceremonial finish back at Deeside was a moment I will never forget. Who'd have thought our years of enjoying grassroots motorsport would culminate in something like this? But it goes to show that, if you want to, anyone can do it. And, in the process, we raised money for a good cause too, in this case the Malawi Association of Christian Support.
We couldn't have done it without the support of family and friends to whom we're so grateful, as well as the generous support of Competition Supplies, Kumho, Lifeline, Puma, Avo Suspension and Bell.
20 years since Colin McRae won the World Rally Championship, to be competing in the wheel tracks of a childhood hero was just that little bit more special. But don't forget that next to him was another superstar, Derek Ringer. For every Ogier, Evans and Mikkelsen, there's an Ingrassia, Barritt and Floene. The dark art of co-driving is much more than just being along for the ride - and it's also a hell of a lot of fun.
Watch the onboard video here.[Apologies for the terrible noise quality]
[Photos: Chris Gage and Jakob Ebrey ]