Wednesday 16th January 2002

Smile!

Warwickshire dream up ridiculous scheme to save lives

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[Don]

Hmmm. The new smiley face speed camera...

One of those faces you wouldn't get bored of smashing in the teeth...

[Stephen White]

It's all too easy to rant about how pathetic and enraging these sniveling, sanctimonious, safety-schveinhunds are - and they're all of that - but until we have real, fully useful public transport, the traffic problems will just increase, with the inevitable result: our pleasures will be eliminated. Until we enthusiasts are very conspicuous at the front of the parade, ranting and howling for actual, universal public transport, we have no-one else to blame for the erosion of our pleasure. Most of us are just as selfish and short-sighted as the safety-snitheads, since we're apparently willing to hoard our lovely driving experience and let it be buried with our generation, rather than fighting to keep it alive for as long as possible.

[Jason F]

Is the smile that of the Govt accountants as the coffers get filled with the fines ?

Still, it would cheer me up no end knowing that despite reducing limits everywhere and taxing us beyond all hope I will at least get to see Smilies on the roadside...

Are the people who designed this on Acid ??

[spandexx]

Someone - or even a group of people - had to sit down and think this up! I find it astonishing that at least one of those peole did not stand up and say "hang on a minuite; you are all talking bollocks."
W*****s!

[CarZee]

quote:until we have real, fully useful public transport, the traffic problems will just increase, with the inevitable result: our pleasures will be eliminated. Until we enthusiasts are very conspicuous at the front of the parade, ranting and howling for actual, universal public transport, we have no-one else to blame for the erosion of our pleasure.

unless I am very much mistaken, there have been those exact howls of protest with regard to the state of public transport and motoring in the British press, in the courts, and in the public sphere. Particularly at the moment relating to the state of our railways.

The government who are at last beginning to feel like they're gonna lose this one have put their expansion of speed camera programmes etc on hold until some progress is made with public transport. The congestion charging in London will also be on hold until improvements are in place regarding the underground system and the buses.

The weight of public opinion is falling in behind us as those who merely transit from A to B in their cars (rather than relish the experience) are caught out by the speed camera menace. The Association of British Drivers are also doing significant work regarding this.

We must keep pushing though..

Cynically speaking, I think that while the governments of this and every other western country are in the pockets of multinational corporations and at the behest of fuel taxes, there's a limit to how far they'll push in trying to get motorists off the road. Should GM and Ford choose to exert pressure on any government seen as stifling their profits, I'm quite convinced that safety would all of a sudden plummet down the list of priorities and the government would be pushing relief in the direction of motorists and motor manufacturers..

quote:Most of us are just as selfish and short-sighted as the safety-snitheads, since we're apparently willing to hoard our lovely driving experience and let it be buried with our generation, rather than fighting to keep it alive for as long as possible.

Not sure who exactly it is you speak on behalf of but it's not me or (I suspect) many of the other people on this board. that aside, you seem to ignore the fact that selfishness is a fundamental and unassailable aspect of human nature.

Edited by CarZee on Wednesday 16th January 09:30

[nonegreen]

The casulaty reduction partnership or crap for short seems to have a surfiet of tossers in its ranks. Louise Lyle? With a name like that you would have expected a career as an actress/modelle/slapper. and Jon Bond? His mother could't spell "James". (could't spell f*ckin John either). All this bollocks just to shift three deaths onto some other roads and make it somebody elses problem.

[plotloss]

Is this just extracting the urine?

Smile! You're £60 worse off and now have 3 more points than you did before seeing this ludicrous smiley faced tax collector.

Speed is a large factor in road accidents? You dont say Jon, you may also be suprised to learn that sex is a large factor in pregnancy!

The only police force in the country to do so eh? Do you think there could possibly be the reason that no other Cheif Constable want to look like quite such a fool?

The only thing missing is the '...youve been caught on candid camera' slogan at the end.

Matt.

[Fatboy]

quote:Are the people who designed this on Acid ??

No, they should be dissolved in it

[jondokic]

fao nonegreen: Grrrrrrrrr.

There was talk on radio four the other day of using the matrix signs to display smilies. Is this what this refers to ? If so it's not quite as silly as it sounds. The proposal mentioned on the radio was to show one of three smilies or :l depending on if the vehicle approaching was doing the speed limit/below, speeding to a level that could result in prosecution or speeding slightly - a more sophisticated version of the SLOW signs at the top of some long hills. These signs would be positioned ahead of obstacles and/or speed traps to give drivers a warning to slow.
Unfortunately I don't know if it was Warwickshire or another county were this was proposed. Some more research req'd

Yours, Jon Dokic

Edited by jondokic on Wednesday 16th January 11:42

[CarZee]

quote:
The casulaty reduction partnership or crap for short seems to have a surfiet of tossers in its ranks

Humanity has a surfiet of tossers in its ranks. Address this and you address their precipitation in such cretinous organisations.

Surely the likes of poeple who actually buy this casualty reduction 5hite are a small minority ? Well, I'd like to think so but I'm far from sure..

[hertsbiker]

Death is too good for these people.
Removing the damn things is the only way forward, apart from the ones that ARE important (schools, etc).

Hey, I think we're all doing our bit to further the freedom of the driver - aren't we?

I'd like to think that if we stick to the town limits, that one day we're going to be rewarded with total derestriction of fast "A" & "M" roads... afterall, no kids on the motorway?

In between time, pass the industrial pipe cutters.

C

[Steve Harrison]

++++ Press Release from the Department of F***ing Up The Roads ++++

Hi! Did you know that in every single road traffic accident that happened in Britain last year at least one of the people involved was MOVING.

Incredible isn't it? You'd think by now people would have wised up to this and realised that MOVING kills. As long as people keep MOVING, not even the sensible ones who stand still are safe. Try it. If you go and stand perfectly still in the middle of the road, pretty soon you're likely to be seriously injured or even killed by somebody who is MOVING.

Know you know just how dangerous it can be, you'll be glad to hear that your government are taking urgent steps to stop anybody from MOVING any more. We have teams of people working night and day to make sure that Britain's roads are becoming more and more congested and our plan is that pretty soon MOVING will be a thing of the past.

Then we will all be able to stand still in perfect safety and pretty bunny rabbits will frolic and play and world peace will be everywhere and, and... and, Oh f**k, where's my medication?

[nonegreen]

quote:
Death is too good for these people.
Removing the damn things is the only way forward, apart from the ones that ARE important (schools, etc).

Hey, I think we're all doing our bit to further the freedom of the driver - aren't we?

I'd like to think that if we stick to the town limits, that one day we're going to be rewarded with total derestriction of fast "A" & "M" roads... afterall, no kids on the motorway?

In between time, pass the industrial pipe cutters.

C

Carl You sound 10 years younger!!!!

[Umar B]

there is a trick to getting away with speeding points

[nonegreen]

quote:
fao nonegreen: Grrrrrrrrr.

There was talk on radio four the other day of using the matrix signs to display smilies. Is this what this refers to ? If so it's not quite as silly as it sounds. The proposal mentioned on the radio was to show one of three smilies or :l depending on if the vehicle approaching was doing the speed limit/below, speeding to a level that could result in prosecution or speeding slightly - a more sophisticated version of the SLOW signs at the top of some long hills. These signs would be positioned ahead of obstacles and/or speed traps to give drivers a warning to slow.
Unfortunately I don't know if it was Warwickshire or another county were this was proposed. Some more research req'd

Yours, Jon Dokic

Edited by jondokic on Wednesday 16th January 11:42

Presumably these jokers think we are going to take any notice? Perhaps its time to fit a similar matrix to the front of the car to display messages to the government.

Like why are you wasting my money on these stupid signs
or Stephen Byers is public enemy number 1
or Tony Blair is gay
or I dont care what your daft sign says this is a stolen car! mmm and I am going to crash it into a speed camera!!

[hertsbiker]

quote:
Carl You sound 10 years younger!!!!

Speed cameras are one thing I detest utterly. Being caught by Plod is atleast human, and you get to talk to someone who might just care enough about you to give you a lecture - and not a ticket.

A machine doesn't care, has no qualms about nicking you, cannot be reasoned with, or stopped.. and I am in danger of describing "the terminator" if I carry on. Also in danger of ranting like a maniac.

Carl.

PS I still enjoy a bit of excess, just that I moderate it down to speeds that Metro drivers can nearly understand ! And speeds that don't take 1/8 mile to stop from..

[hertsbiker]

quote:
there is a trick to getting away with speeding points

You know you want to tell us, so go ahead!

[nonegreen]

"It cannot be reasoned with or stopped"

is a perfect description of

a) A terminator
b) A member of t2k
c) An anti car campaigner
d) Stephen Byers
e) Most of the female producers at the BBC and Carlton

[plotloss]

f) All of the above?

Matt.

[CarZee]

quote:Presumably these jokers think we are going to take any notice? Perhaps its time to fit a similar matrix to the front of the car to display messages to the government.

This is an idea I've considered seriously - a matrix in the back window of my car with a dozen or so pre-programmed messages.

I'd be interested to know what the legality of this would be... specifically when I drive past someone and flash up "TWAT!!" at them..