Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
PurpleMoonlight said:
Lesson 1: She will firmly believe, without a shadow of doubt, that she is entitled to everything and will be unable to comprehend why you would object to that.
I would be inclined to stay well and truly put for the whole weekend.
Yeah I'm camped - it's caused her some frustration which is telling of her intentions...I would be inclined to stay well and truly put for the whole weekend.
Let her go. The future relationship with your kids won't be decided by anything said today.
But if you kick off it just won't be positive. Possible ammo for her at a later date.
She can think what she likes just let her get on with it short term, then get the arrangements made formally in the proper manner.
I know there are a lot of horror stories but I found the family court to be straightforward and reasonable (though my case was less complex).
Gonna be tough weekend fella, maybe get a mate over once she's gone and use the space without them around to reflect.
Don't do something rash. It's not an American lawyer box set chess game. It's just really really s
t.
My 2p
But if you kick off it just won't be positive. Possible ammo for her at a later date.
She can think what she likes just let her get on with it short term, then get the arrangements made formally in the proper manner.
I know there are a lot of horror stories but I found the family court to be straightforward and reasonable (though my case was less complex).
Gonna be tough weekend fella, maybe get a mate over once she's gone and use the space without them around to reflect.
Don't do something rash. It's not an American lawyer box set chess game. It's just really really s
t.My 2p
OP, so sorry to hear about this. Devastating for anybody but given the context of your recent health issues, 100x worse.
Best of luck getting this sorted.
. 
Best of luck getting this sorted.
theboss said:
Therefore the wife thinks she can stay here with the kids and I should just go somewhere else if I don't like it.
The audacity of such an attitude staggers me. She sounds like an absolute . theboss said:
OK its all going to hell pretty quickly. She is here now, with her mother, they have already stated I "can't look after the kids" because I didn't launder their school uniforms last night FFS.
They are taking clothes but are stating that the new house isn't ready for the kids yet because appliances aren't there (washing machine cooker etc)
Therefore the wife thinks she can stay here with the kids and I should just go somewhere else if I don't like it.
How do I get proper advice on a Saturday morning? Any actual lawyers here?
Geez what a mess, you have my sympathies.They are taking clothes but are stating that the new house isn't ready for the kids yet because appliances aren't there (washing machine cooker etc)
Therefore the wife thinks she can stay here with the kids and I should just go somewhere else if I don't like it.
How do I get proper advice on a Saturday morning? Any actual lawyers here?
As the mother in law is clearly complicit in your wife's plans/actions it might be a good idea that she f*cks off round there!
I'd stay calm and assertive and make it quite clear that whilst you don't like the fact that the snake wants to stay in the property you are going nowhere any time soon.
Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT leave the property, given her actions she'll change the locks before you do!
Your wife won't bother asking whether it's either legally or morally right to change the locks, she'll just do it.
Fight fire with fire, not a blanket.
johnwilliams77 said:
Glade said:
To add to that... Do you really have the mental capacity for the stress of sourcing and changing locks while having a barney with her and her mum.
Sounds like using mental and physical capacity you don't have right now.
Surely a nearby ph'er could help him out...Sounds like using mental and physical capacity you don't have right now.
OP - yes, I am a lawyer (categorically not my area of law though) so seek advice - ring local firms now. Some may be open on a Saturday morning.
I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
Actus Reus said:
OP - yes, I am a lawyer (categorically not my area of law though) so seek advice - ring local firms now. Some may be open on a Saturday morning.
I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
The first really good piece of advice. Making decisions based on comments of random blokes off the internet seems rather dangerous to me. Having gone through a break up or divorce yourself doesn't make you a legal expert. Of course everyone wants to help but shouldn't that be by proving moral support rather than unsupported and contradictory advice?I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
Vaud said:
dudleybloke said:
And tell her she is taking the 15yr old with her too.
Her decisions = Her problems.
Actually the kids need to come first, not parents making arbitrary decisions...Her decisions = Her problems.
At the moment she is getting everything she wants and bullying the op so this little tactic should help burst her bubble a bit.
dudleybloke said:
Vaud said:
dudleybloke said:
And tell her she is taking the 15yr old with her too.
Her decisions = Her problems.
Actually the kids need to come first, not parents making arbitrary decisions...Her decisions = Her problems.
At the moment she is getting everything she wants and bullying the op so this little tactic should help burst her bubble a bit.
At the moment, being in love with her new guy, she is on a dopamine high (which is the same as a cocaine high) and so there is no reasoning with her.
In her eyes, the OP is the devil incarnate, and everything he does or says will be wrong, and yet another nail in the coffin of their relationship.
There's nothing the OP can do about that, except not to add another nail to the pile.
That's the unfortunate reality.
ETA: OP, take comfort in the fact that sooner or later she will be hit by the cold light of day.
The only thing you can really do to hasten that eventuality is to let her take the high ground - she's going to anyway.
It will probably rankle you, but IMHO one of the best things you can do at the moment is to apologise unconditionally to her for being such a s
t and for fking up her life.Edited by Pete317 on Saturday 7th May 13:30
Actus Reus said:
OP - yes, I am a lawyer (categorically not my area of law though) so seek advice - ring local firms now. Some may be open on a Saturday morning.
I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
I agree.I don't have nearly enough details, you cannot change the locks (nor can she). You both have a right to remain there. If you do so she'd be within her rights to ask the old bill to accompany her to the property. This does happen. This is not a route you want to go down. Ignore this thread and seek professional advice as soon as you can get it. This is complicated and a horrible situation, but changing locks, emptying bank accounts and having arguments are not productive courses of action. Try and keep your eye on the long game.
And with that I'm out - Internet forums are bad places for this kind of advice.
Play the long game.
johnfm said:
You're being quite passive.
Stop just letting things happen.
. . .
Empty your bank accounts now.
Stop just letting things happen.
. . .
Empty your bank accounts now.
johnfm said:
Take some initiative and control.
As tonker advised earlier, getting funds out (maybe not emptying but it's an option) is practical and it can be a lifesaver particularly where joint accounts are in single signature authority mode when any one of the two account holders can lawfully 'manage' the account with deposits and withdrawals.
If the ex takes the lot out first, then with beagle input it will all be added up on the day in Court and be taken into account, but until then the guy may have serious cashflow problems.
In any case the Bank of Loyalty & Trust is unforgiving. The ex has accepted a deposit from somewhere else so her account is now closed.
theboss said:
Firstly I've ensured the joint account is heavily overdrawn
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