Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
Red Devil said:
Sonic said:
4x4Tyke said:
As a director her fiduciary responsibility is to the company, not herself.
What really matters here is has every played a part in actually running the company.
If she considers this an asset to be leveraged to her benefit, she will be in for a shock.
I suspect she may struggle to complete her Self Assessment for 2014-15 without theboss's assistance, let alone run a business as a sole shareholder and director with no income and substantial taxes outstanding to HMRC after theboss has resigned and surrendered his shares, should she does not do the same What really matters here is has every played a part in actually running the company.
If she considers this an asset to be leveraged to her benefit, she will be in for a shock.
Paper return: 31st October 2015.
Online return: 31st January 2016.
Payment: 31st January 2016 either way.
She will be subject to the late filing penalty of £100.00 and racking up daily late payment charges as well.
http://www.rossmartin.co.uk/index.php/sme-tax-news...
What reasonable excuse can she come up with?
StottyEvo said:
Joey Deacon said:
V6Pushfit said:
Same happened here its incredible how naive the ex was, thought I earned huge money by just multiplying up my max hourly rate and conveniently ignoring overheads and suchlike. She convinced herself she was up for a huge payout for maintenance and looking at the current calculator I was still paying over the odds but about 60% less than she thought it should be.
What I found disgusting is that at the devious planning stage of it all she had been dreaming of her future being based entirely on my funding. Having no proper income herself.
What annoys me is that us divorced men are always called bitter and twisted when we post in the Match.com or any thread about a breakup. Time and time again we hear stories like this where the woman doesn't work and plans her escape with the new boyfriend while dreaming of her ex husband paying for her future and giving her the house.What I found disgusting is that at the devious planning stage of it all she had been dreaming of her future being based entirely on my funding. Having no proper income herself.
Seriously, you have to be absolutely mental to get married anymore.
Shockingly her answering this question didn't make the penny drop. People eh.
He made my life a misery
He made me go elsewhere
He made me bend over for someone who understands me.
He should be made to pay - why should I have to live somewhere else because He was a nightmare to live with?
The lack of respect for the chap who was probably working his ass off to make a better life for his family beggars belief
In these circumstances the wife spends a lot of time dreaming (as ALL women do) and fantasising about a wonderful future without the husband. During this time they are fertile to any and all of the crap told to them by the new bloke or other divorcees who share stories of how they live a life of lunches on their husbands bill. The expectation of paid-for freedom is huge so when the husband puts up ANY resistance they are scared/annoyed, go ballistic and fight back with ludicrous arguments so everything 'becomes' the husbands fault.
Thankfully I then met the girl of my dreams and my only regret now is I hadn't met her before, as I would never have got married to who I did. She's got her head screwed on and she can't believe the distorted rules we have which enable divorcing wives to get so much.
Thankfully I then met the girl of my dreams and my only regret now is I hadn't met her before, as I would never have got married to who I did. She's got her head screwed on and she can't believe the distorted rules we have which enable divorcing wives to get so much.
I've just had a more civil exchange of texts. So:
1) she has almost finished moving out. Two more things then keys get popped through letterbox (I have locksmith booked anyway, she has probably made copies)
2) she wants a regular maintenance payment to be setup, I have said weekly because I know she'll blow any larger sum and come crawling back. She hasn't suggested 'more' this time so may have done the sums and accepted my offer is generous for what I'm drawing from the limited co
3) she has agreed she will sign tenancy and business resignation / stock transfer forms as soon as I put them in front of her
4) she is going to bank to have name taken off joint account. I will make sure her card is destroyed. I have cancelled 'her' direct debits on the account. This is easier than setting my own account up at this stage.
5) I am having the kids Friday/Saturday nights but she wants them back Sunday evening. We have yet to discuss a regular ongoing agreement
6) she knows the car is being provided on a good will basis rather than as part of any agreed settlement/maintenance, and will organise a replacement as soon as feasible. I have explained I can't afford to keep providing it.
This seems to be good progress from 'the mental' last night. Lets see how much of it she sticks to.
1) she has almost finished moving out. Two more things then keys get popped through letterbox (I have locksmith booked anyway, she has probably made copies)
2) she wants a regular maintenance payment to be setup, I have said weekly because I know she'll blow any larger sum and come crawling back. She hasn't suggested 'more' this time so may have done the sums and accepted my offer is generous for what I'm drawing from the limited co
3) she has agreed she will sign tenancy and business resignation / stock transfer forms as soon as I put them in front of her
4) she is going to bank to have name taken off joint account. I will make sure her card is destroyed. I have cancelled 'her' direct debits on the account. This is easier than setting my own account up at this stage.
5) I am having the kids Friday/Saturday nights but she wants them back Sunday evening. We have yet to discuss a regular ongoing agreement
6) she knows the car is being provided on a good will basis rather than as part of any agreed settlement/maintenance, and will organise a replacement as soon as feasible. I have explained I can't afford to keep providing it.
This seems to be good progress from 'the mental' last night. Lets see how much of it she sticks to.
Congrats boss.
I hope you realise that your cool head has ALREADY paid absolutely HUGE dividends here.
Perhaps even set the tone for the whole ongoing relationship.
It's not right to say I am "happy" for you but given the very first post, this does seemed to have turned out much better than many (including me) were expecting... WELL DONE!!!!
You should be giving yourself a massive pat on the back.
I hope you realise that your cool head has ALREADY paid absolutely HUGE dividends here.
Perhaps even set the tone for the whole ongoing relationship.
It's not right to say I am "happy" for you but given the very first post, this does seemed to have turned out much better than many (including me) were expecting... WELL DONE!!!!
You should be giving yourself a massive pat on the back.
Well done for living up to your name and taking control. That's obviously what's saved you here after the initial shock subsided. As you say, now let's see how much she keeps to what's been discussed...
berlintaxi said:
He will as soon as you pull your tongue out his arse.
I'm not sure he'd be able to feel it anyway given his recent medical problems Would it be worth asking her to agree that X amount of the 'maintenance' (given that it's more than required, show her the link) goes directly to a kids account that can't be touched until they're older? Then you can be more sure that it's not all going on frilly panties, rose wine / takeaways.
theboss said:
Red Devil said:
Sonic said:
4x4Tyke said:
As a director her fiduciary responsibility is to the company, not herself.
What really matters here is has every played a part in actually running the company.
If she considers this an asset to be leveraged to her benefit, she will be in for a shock.
I suspect she may struggle to complete her Self Assessment for 2014-15 without theboss's assistance, let alone run a business as a sole shareholder and director with no income and substantial taxes outstanding to HMRC after theboss has resigned and surrendered his shares, should she does not do the same What really matters here is has every played a part in actually running the company.
If she considers this an asset to be leveraged to her benefit, she will be in for a shock.
Paper return: 31st October 2015.
Online return: 31st January 2016.
Payment: 31st January 2016 either way.
She will be subject to the late filing penalty of £100.00 and racking up daily late payment charges as well.
http://www.rossmartin.co.uk/index.php/sme-tax-news...
What reasonable excuse can she come up with?
However Sonic's reference was to the previous tax year. He got his wires crossed. 
As I'm sure you know, each taxpayer is responsible for their own return and payment. If you have a professional do your return for you, it's still you HMRC go after if it's late even if the person you hired failed to do their job properly. You shouldn't have anything to do with her next balancing payment. She is going to have to take on that responsibility for herself. Something else I doubt she has considered when deciding to shack up with her new man.
theboss said:
4) she is going to bank to have name taken off joint account.
How far do you trust her to actually do this? You should be proactive here.Go to the bank yourself, explain the situation and ask them to:
Freeze the joint account.
If you don't already have one, open one in your sole name.
Transfer all your DDs and tell the originators.
Banks see this scenario all the time and will have procedures in place.
They differ between institutions so you'll to find out what yours is.
theboss said:
I will make sure her card is destroyed.
Unless it's in your hands, how exactly do you propose to do so? Happy to take her word for it?Even if she hands it over, how do you know she hasn't already ordered a replacement?
She has already deceived you in the most important matter of all, so why trust her with the small stuff?
Good points on the bank, I will go down on Friday when I'm near one. I'm keeping the joint account near the o/d limit anyway so she can't have much out.
Just received a shameful settlement figure on the M5 to confirm it's approximately £13k in negative equity
just incase she's telling her solicitor about all these expensive 'assets' she can lay claim on
I doubt my dealer is used to administering the usual arse raping and being told 'fantastic, just what I wanted to hear!'
Also just spent an hour and a half on the phone to solicitors and will be getting the ball rolling asap on a divorce. It'll be interesting to see if the wedding certificate is still in the filing cabinet when I get home, or if she's pinched it for the same reason. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see her try and divorce me first for all my 'unreasonable behaviour' especially if she thinks she can assign her legal costs.
Just received a shameful settlement figure on the M5 to confirm it's approximately £13k in negative equity
just incase she's telling her solicitor about all these expensive 'assets' she can lay claim onI doubt my dealer is used to administering the usual arse raping and being told 'fantastic, just what I wanted to hear!'
Also just spent an hour and a half on the phone to solicitors and will be getting the ball rolling asap on a divorce. It'll be interesting to see if the wedding certificate is still in the filing cabinet when I get home, or if she's pinched it for the same reason. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see her try and divorce me first for all my 'unreasonable behaviour' especially if she thinks she can assign her legal costs.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Not agreed firmly 'every weekend' but that I want them 2-3 nights a week. I'm working from home quite a lot these days so can do school nights easily.She has said she wants to be flexible and I'm sure she will want weekends with the kids as well as without them.
I'm also going to be working less hard from now on. I no longer have a high maintenance wife to provide for. The £650/month I've offered her in maintenance I'll save just on all the silly s
t she used to buy on Amazon etc.theboss said:
5) I am having the kids Friday/Saturday nights but she wants them back Sunday evening.
So, er, your social life? Obviously you won't be going on any dates then. You might have just been stitched up with 1-4 thrown in to get you to take 5. Obviously, you need to see your kids as much as possible but 'every weekend' reads like a quick hatchet job and you being used as their free baby sitter. You do need to ensure that you have some weekends free as you are a free, single man now with a brilliant future ahead of you.DonkeyApple said:
theboss said:
5) I am having the kids Friday/Saturday nights but she wants them back Sunday evening.
So, er, your social life? Obviously you won't be going on any dates then. You might have just been stitched up with 1-4 thrown in to get you to take 5. Obviously, you need to see your kids as much as possible but 'every weekend' reads like a quick hatchet job and you being used as their free baby sitter. You do need to ensure that you have some weekends free as you are a free, single man now with a brilliant future ahead of you.I'll be interested to see what state they are in after 5 nights in their new house with this strange new fellow.
Joey Deacon said:
Until she moved her new boyfriend in my ex wife would be on the phone asking for money as soon as anything went wrong or she needed a bill paying. If I refused I would be called the worst father ever and she would threaten to stop me seeing the children. If that didn't work she would threaten to go to her solicitor and to take me for spousal maintenance etc.
One of my friends is going through something similar at the moment, with emphasis on playing God with his child. Speaking from the outside, it's upsetting that at one point in your life, you can foresee spending the rest of your days devoted to that person, you make a home but then, one day you discover that deep down they can be so vile, and exact mental pain on you that you'd probably not think about dishing out on your worst enemy. I'm not sure how these things go so wrong, they just do but as somewhat of an agony uncle at the moment, any man/woman in this position has my support...and I take kindly to all the free beer bought for me down the pub in return for my shoulder.
theboss said:
DonkeyApple said:
theboss said:
5) I am having the kids Friday/Saturday nights but she wants them back Sunday evening.
So, er, your social life? Obviously you won't be going on any dates then. You might have just been stitched up with 1-4 thrown in to get you to take 5. Obviously, you need to see your kids as much as possible but 'every weekend' reads like a quick hatchet job and you being used as their free baby sitter. You do need to ensure that you have some weekends free as you are a free, single man now with a brilliant future ahead of you.I'll be interested to see what state they are in after 5 nights in their new house with this strange new fellow.
Yes, if they don't know this chap then suddenly going to a new home and having to get to know him extremely quickly is going to be hard. At the end of the day it is all about seeing them right as best as possible above all else.
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