Is this inappropriate behavior?

[Dr Doofenshmirtz]

I blame Trump

[Zigster]

TooMany2cvs said:

Gavia said:

It’s exactly that simple. Your earlier post about their age is irrelevant. From the moment kids become socially aware they should understand which bits are private for them and others. Why you’re suggesting otherwise is weird, especially trying to blend it on society, if anything society has helped in this.

I bet those saying "Nah, too young" would regard kids of this age groups as more than old enough to know the difference between an adult helper holding their hand and an adult having a crafty grope...

I don't agree with you. If kids were that clear on these issues then we wouldn't need many of our safeguarding policies. Those safeguarding policies are there to protect all the young people (including those much older than Beavers) from adults and other young people taking advantage of not understanding where boundaries lie.

[xjay1337]

sugerbear said:

Yes "Grabbing someone by the genitals" is inappropriate behaviour. Just because he was kicked first of all doesn't excuse what he did even if he didn't understand what he was doing (which is really inappropriate). Hopefully his mum will sit down and explain why and in future he will punch or kick back if needed.

He should have gone to an an adult when he was attacked. Life isn't fair etc. etc.

Cos going to adults fixes everything.
Most adults can't even sort their own lives out let alone their kids.

Fight fire with fire (sometimes).

[foxbody-87]

Pistom said:

This to me would have been a better way of dealing with the situation.

Seems the common sense way to address it. Give them all a bking, make sure young lad understands going near the family jewels is a no-no, and a week later everyone has forgotten about it. If it happens again then you take further action.

All this talk of suspensions and training your kids to cage-fighter standards. Kids are by and large stupid, so they do stupid stuff. Once they’ve had a bking they generally straighten out unless they’re proper little sts, in which case you’re fighting a losing battle.

[Chamon_Lee]

foxbody-87 said:

Pistom said:

This to me would have been a better way of dealing with the situation.

Seems the common sense way to address it. Give them all a bking, make sure young lad understands going near the family jewels is a no-no, and a week later everyone has forgotten about it. If it happens again then you take further action.

All this talk of suspensions and training your kids to cage-fighter standards. Kids are by and large stupid, so they do stupid stuff. Once they’ve had a bking they generally straighten out unless they’re proper little sts, in which case you’re fighting a losing battle.

Exactly what I was about to write. Seems to have almost been blown out of proportion: as the OP said they all should have into trouble, your nephew told off that its not ok to brab genitals. End of topic move on.

If it happens again then thats a different issue that needs to be addressed. OP things obv run a certain way at this place so I would lodge a complaint about bullying irrespective of how your nephew reacted.

[roadsmash]

I wonder if this will make it in the top 100 of weird PistonHead threads?

[Sa Calobra]

Firstly I mistakingly read the OP as nephew was a beavers helper/leader.


Then realised.

My son is 8. He knows right from wrong and knows how private genitals are.

I'd be asking a few more questions as to why the nephew twice grabbed other children's privates.

Sorry.

[Pistom]

Sa Calobra said:

Firstly I mistakingly read the OP as nephew was a beavers helper/leader.


Then realised.

My son is 8. He knows right from wrong and knows how private genitals are.

I'd be asking a few more questions as to why the nephew twice grabbed other children's privates.

Sorry.

This is why I mentioned age earlier but someone more correctly refered to social awareness being the critical factor. At 6 I didn't know a fanny from a flower but by 8 I certainly did.

[yanyan]

I'm glad I was at school in the 60s and 70s.

[Gavia]

Pistom said:

This is why I mentioned age earlier but someone more correctly refered to social awareness being the critical factor. At 6 I didn't know a fanny from a flower but by 8 I certainly did.

I mentioned it. I couldn’t tell you what I knew at 6 or 8, nor do I have huge recollection of many events then, so I think you’re exaggerating. However, I’m pretty certain that children are made aware of where is private and shouldn’t be touched. I know my young nieces do, as it’s important when they start interacting in the real world with adults.

[pavarotti1980]

yanyan said:

I'm glad I was at school in the 60s and 70s.

As a pupil or a teacher?.....

[yanyan]

A janitor.

[hotchy]

Depends on the age, at 5/6 I was in total shock when a girl showed me she had no Willie while the teacher was reading a book.... i was Confused for a week. It's funny because that girl is now married to my best mate. Leeds to great convos....

By 8 I'm sure we pretty much knew everything. Has he been watching movies? Vinne Jones rip your balls off movies. The ball grabs used in alot of shows and movies tbh.

At that age a kick in the shins worse than your balls as far as I remember. Tell him to smash there shins but never touch there.

[aka_kerrly]

skwdenyer said:

Vaud said:

aka_kerrly said:

Huh, girls at Beavers? Are there boys in the Guides these days to?

Probably a shared hut/space for the different groups?

No, girl Beavers, girl Cubs, girl Scouts etc these days. Boys can only join Brownies if they identify as female.

Oh come on, is this women's version of equality? wanting to be allowed to be involved with everything whilst maintaining their own exclusive clubs to.

Anyhow, i think we have all agreed that the children involved in the OP need a talking to, that's it.

[Antony Moxey]

Was any action taken against the two bullies who attacked the OP’s newphew and provoked his retaliation, or was that forgotten about because he clumped them in the plums (which, from a previous experience, he knew would hurt)? I would hope the OP’s nephew wasn’t singled out for punishment and that the other two scrotes who instigated the attack were reprimanded too.

Edited by Antony Moxey on Friday 14th September 08:20

[Lenovo]

For those interested as things have quietened down my sister got my nephew's side of the story (he clammed up initially):

They were all playing a game, my nephew got put out and went to sit next to his friend who was already out, so they ended up like this: kid1-nephew-friend.

Kid1 stood up and started kicking him on the leg (my nephew is not sure why he started doing this, I would imagine it he has probably knocked into him whilst sitting down or maybe he was the one that put him out the game first) from a sitting position my nephew then poked him in the genitals.

This stopped kid1 kicking him, kid1 then went and got his sister (kid2)

Kid2 comes over with kid1 and the both start kicking him (he's still sitting) he then pokes kid2 in the genitals, at this point the helper sees whats happening and breaks it up.

The confusion of the punching/grabbing came from the helper as that's what they said.

The bit that makes my sister angry is not that he's being punished for fighting, it's the fact they are only suspending him and not the other two kids as he poked them in the genitals and they are treating this like some sort of sex crime. Nevertheless she's had a good long chat with him about how what he did is wrong and how in the future he needs to tell a leader/helper if someone starts hitting him rather than hitting back and also a chat about genitals and hitting there. He's also lost quite a few privileges for a week. She has no plans to take this any further other than being annoyed by it.

[sc0tt]

Tell him to aim for the nose next time.

[Pistom]

Lenovo said:

The bit that makes my sister angry is not that he's being punished for fighting, it's the fact they are only suspending him and not the other two kids as he poked them in the genitals and they are treating this like some sort of sex crime. Nevertheless she's had a good long chat with him about how what he did is wrong and how in the future he needs to tell a leader/helper if someone starts hitting him rather than hitting back and also a chat about genitals and hitting there. He's also lost quite a few privileges for a week. She has no plans to take this any further other than being annoyed by it.

This was my point too when I was talking about over sensitivity with the result of the situation being handled so poorly.

The helper couldn't see any further than genitals = sex crime. Had it been dealt with as Zigster suggested, everyone could have learned from it.

[Kuji]

sc0tt said:

Tell him to aim for the nose next time.

Back of the head, via the nose.

[Rude-boy]

All comments duly noted.

It also appears to me though that the helper might be in need of a little training.

Also, and i am not saying that this has happened here, but in such clubs there can also be wider social factors that erroneously impact upon such situations - for instance the Helper might well know Kid 1 and Kid 2's family, their children may even be friends.

I recall as about a 10 year old child leaving a local kid club after having been set upon by one kid a few years older and putting him on his arse i got a bking and banned for a month and they got off Scot free. It was rather odd that his mother was an occasional helper and good friends with the people who ran the club...

[/devilsadvocatemodeon]

This is a vital lesson in life for OP's nephew - retaliation is best done some time later, in private, length of 2x4 or chair optional on relative size of parties involved...