Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
theboss said:
The point about the evidence gathered (which was left lying around my house) is that it confirms what was suspected all along. The difference is that his wife can draw attention to his 'hidden income' tactics when going for settlement, knowing full well that she's onto something factual rather than purely speculative. The evidence doesn't need to come out - it will be his responsibility to disclose his affairs in a full and frank manner and I believe the court will compell him to do so should there be any vagueness.
I would suggest that maybe his wife and you need to tread carefully - https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/law/improperly-obtain...
Red Devil said:
I would suggest that maybe his wife and you need to tread carefully - https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/law/improperly-obtain...
Understood, but I have not sent her any documents (which were left lying in my kitchen) and don't intend to.My point is that merely seeing these documents - and speaking to my wife about the whole business arrangement - confirms what we suspected which is that he was earning a decent amount of money whilst declaring nil income to her, the CMS and everyone else.
She is well represented (I set her up with the team I used myself) and if he fails to disclose any of this income or business interest on his Form E then it will be up to her, on the advice of her solicitor, to decide whether or not to challenge it. She knows about the business income via my wife but doesn't know I have statements.
My motive in copying these documents was actually to ensure my wife had adequately archived records should HMRC come knocking in the future, as it would be in my overall interests to try and assist her. I don't really need her to be made destitute.
bmw535i said:
Are you aware that the table in that picture has a reflective top?
Remember, tread carefully.
Cheers, it exists in the public domain unobscured, but I'll take it down to save PH any potential headache.Remember, tread carefully.
Wife doesn't have a job. She is looking around for something part time at the moment. I'm not going to give her too hard a time because our elder daughter has ASD and is seriously hard work, she has to put a lot of effort in there which is also reflected in some of the benefits she gets. If her working causes me to have to alter my own working arrangements we're going to be in a lose-lose situation.
I would think very carefully about what you reveal in public. It's probably nice to think you're well respected by people on here for the manner in which you've conducted yourself, but it's not what is important. You never know who might be watching.
I honestly wish you the best of luck, but stay focused on what's important. I get you want to rub the guys nose in it a bit, but it will only reveal a lack of self dignity and cause bitterness.
I honestly wish you the best of luck, but stay focused on what's important. I get you want to rub the guys nose in it a bit, but it will only reveal a lack of self dignity and cause bitterness.
theboss said:
The real s
t kicked off back in the summer when after weeks of collusion and 'getting on well' I actually met socially with his wife and eventually was invited to a family BBQ at her house which I attended with my son. Now word of this got to the guy very quickly, either a nosey neighbour or he drove up the cul-de-sac, because within an hour of arriving threatening texts were flying around damning me for setting foot on 'his property' and hysterically blaming me for pretty much the whole sorry mess.
My reply was very hard hitting and followed with a photo - orchestrated by his own daughters - of me sat on his patio surrounded by his family sporting a huge grin, which was also posted publically on Facebook. This act of pouring petrol on a fire ultimately led to the total breakdown of communications and the subsequent social services allegation along with her becoming very aggressive and dictatorial about my contact with the kids.
That's classic. And how did his ex compare in the bedroom gymnastics contest? How old did you say his daughters are? t kicked off back in the summer when after weeks of collusion and 'getting on well' I actually met socially with his wife and eventually was invited to a family BBQ at her house which I attended with my son. Now word of this got to the guy very quickly, either a nosey neighbour or he drove up the cul-de-sac, because within an hour of arriving threatening texts were flying around damning me for setting foot on 'his property' and hysterically blaming me for pretty much the whole sorry mess.My reply was very hard hitting and followed with a photo - orchestrated by his own daughters - of me sat on his patio surrounded by his family sporting a huge grin, which was also posted publically on Facebook. This act of pouring petrol on a fire ultimately led to the total breakdown of communications and the subsequent social services allegation along with her becoming very aggressive and dictatorial about my contact with the kids.
I know it's long, but at least read the last few pages of the thread. Jonno02 said:
She sounds like she's worming her way back in. Been there. Done that. Won't ever be that stupid(soft) again.
Do be very careful.I would tell her in no uncertain terms that in 3 months you will be pulling the car and the funding for her house.
Respectfully it's not your job to fund her, you are separated.
Then you can have your kids
mjb1 said:
That's classic. And how did his ex compare in the bedroom gymnastics contest? How old did you say his daughters are?
What a terrible thing to think.I did challenge my son to impregnate one or more of them
Latest from the eight year old... she saw a trailer for La La Land, looked at her mother and said "that's you"
Theboss:
Read this from start to finish straight.
I applaud you for how you have handled yourself. You have shown great dignity and restraint.
I would echo this from my first (I emphasise first) marriage. I'm armed forces and spent a considerable amount of time away from home. I heard rumours and knew something was wrong about 5 years into my marriage and confronted my wife to find out she was having an affair with someone on station. I moved into transit (temporary) accommodation and the 6 months countdown before she had to move out of services family accommodation began. Eventually she started saying she had made a mistake and regretted it and could we give it another go. Like a mug I fell for it and moved back in. This in effect cancelled the clock. 18 months later I found out she was at it again.
It would be interesting to see the results of a poll on how many partners who cheat and then get back together when thier new relationships falls to pieces end up cheating again.
It's your choice and your life but I would be very very very careful in allowing this person back into your home.
When you next consider it (and you will), think of the disability living allowance and the false accusations against your family member. Do you want someone of that integrity in your home, she will be in your life but in your home is a different thing.
Finally what happened to the nice young lady you were seeing earlier in the thread. Is she happy with you helping out your ex. Don't ruin your future happiness for the sake of a dream that it can be like it was before all this happened. It just won't be the same.
Read this from start to finish straight.
I applaud you for how you have handled yourself. You have shown great dignity and restraint.
I would echo this from my first (I emphasise first) marriage. I'm armed forces and spent a considerable amount of time away from home. I heard rumours and knew something was wrong about 5 years into my marriage and confronted my wife to find out she was having an affair with someone on station. I moved into transit (temporary) accommodation and the 6 months countdown before she had to move out of services family accommodation began. Eventually she started saying she had made a mistake and regretted it and could we give it another go. Like a mug I fell for it and moved back in. This in effect cancelled the clock. 18 months later I found out she was at it again.
It would be interesting to see the results of a poll on how many partners who cheat and then get back together when thier new relationships falls to pieces end up cheating again.
It's your choice and your life but I would be very very very careful in allowing this person back into your home.
When you next consider it (and you will), think of the disability living allowance and the false accusations against your family member. Do you want someone of that integrity in your home, she will be in your life but in your home is a different thing.
Finally what happened to the nice young lady you were seeing earlier in the thread. Is she happy with you helping out your ex. Don't ruin your future happiness for the sake of a dream that it can be like it was before all this happened. It just won't be the same.
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