Lodger has been taking things...
Discussion
I think you handled it well. I used to have a flatmate that would literally steal my socks and underwear from the dryer as he was either too cheap to buy some more, or too lazy to wash his own. I could understand borrowing a jumper or a jacket, but underwear? I wasn't gonna use any of it again anyway.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
Golfgtimk28v said:
If I was doing this I would have locks on my door. I think that is the only way really.
I think the thing is, you have to trust them, they have keys to your house and share the livingroom, kitchen, bathroom. If you put a lock on the bedroom you only protect one room, but also are openly saying you don't trust them. Taking a lodger typically includes interviewing them, formally or more often informally, during the time you show them around the house. Or atleast it always did when I was doing it.
I always make it quite clear, even to the first person that contacted me about each vacancy, that there where others interested in the room and I would offer it in order of application to the first person who wanted the room (and was suitable) so that, if as I think never really happened, I didn't get the feeling they would work out, I could safely let them down.
As said, in about 8 people, having two lodger over 7 years, I didn't have any issues with them overstepping the mark. Nothing went missing, got used without permission, kitchen livingroom and bathroom left tidy, etc. and I keep in touch with a number of them still.
DaveE87 said:
I think you handled it well. I used to have a flatmate that would literally steal my socks and underwear from the dryer as he was either too cheap to buy some more, or too lazy to wash his own. I could understand borrowing a jumper or a jacket, but underwear? I wasn't gonna use any of it again anyway.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
That is fairly odd. The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
dhutch said:
DaveE87 said:
I think you handled it well. I used to have a flatmate that would literally steal my socks and underwear from the dryer as he was either too cheap to buy some more, or too lazy to wash his own. I could understand borrowing a jumper or a jacket, but underwear? I wasn't gonna use any of it again anyway.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
That is fairly odd. The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
TyrannosauRoss Lex said:
dhutch said:
DaveE87 said:
I think you handled it well. I used to have a flatmate that would literally steal my socks and underwear from the dryer as he was either too cheap to buy some more, or too lazy to wash his own. I could understand borrowing a jumper or a jacket, but underwear? I wasn't gonna use any of it again anyway.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
That is fairly odd. The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
OBV if done intentionally that is very weird.
TyrannosauRoss Lex said:
dhutch said:
Somewhatfoolish said:
TBF This is easy to do, I remember at uni socks/underwear almost became communal.
I can assure you, mind did not. Equally easy NOT to do it!
Oddly I put on some socks today and the "set" (I don't know what the term is for the pair of socks that is put together because I'm not very good at this sort of thing, I prefer to define crankshaft to mattress) had 3 in... 2 of them mine and one my wife's. Either that or she's having an affair with a dwarf. So these things happen. I am not sure how much sense this makes as I am massively self-medicating pericoronitis.
DaveE87 said:
I think you handled it well. I used to have a flatmate that would literally steal my socks and underwear from the dryer as he was either too cheap to buy some more, or too lazy to wash his own. I could understand borrowing a jumper or a jacket, but underwear? I wasn't gonna use any of it again anyway.
The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
Deep Heat; they won't do it again. The only thing that stopped it was by threatening to boot his balls if he did it again.
OFORBES said:
I feel for you OP. Glad to read that it came to a swift conclusion for you, even if it was on your birthday!
We had a similar(ish) experience a few years ago with a Nanny.
She'd come recommended as a friend of another nanny that our neighbours used and she would do 2 days a week so that my wife could have a day off and go out or do anything that she needed to and all was fine for a few months.
Then our eldest son (maybe 2-3 at the time) started saying "bad boy" and "ouch" and began getting upset when taken into his bedroom. The wife mentioned it along with some other suspicions that he was basically being put in his room all the while she was there, that she had friends over when the wife was out and that she wasn't doing the things she said she was doing with him.
Coincidentally, we then had an attempted theft of one of our cars from the driveway and so I installed full internal and external cameras so the whole place was covered.
My wife would activate them when she left the house and on the first day of the Nanny working when the cameras were there, we caught the Nanny on camera pulling up on the driveway and screaming at our son to get out of the car (bearing in mind his age, he needed help to get out) and then dragged him out by the hood of his coat.
The notification came up on my phone and I drove straight home, walked into the house and showed her the video. She went the colour of beetroot, and I asked how she would feel if someone did that to her child?
I then said you need to leave now, before my wife gets home and that was it. She apologised and left! It was a horrendous experience!
Not your fault but I read this before trying to sleep and now I can’t. I’m just simmering with rage. We had a similar(ish) experience a few years ago with a Nanny.
She'd come recommended as a friend of another nanny that our neighbours used and she would do 2 days a week so that my wife could have a day off and go out or do anything that she needed to and all was fine for a few months.
Then our eldest son (maybe 2-3 at the time) started saying "bad boy" and "ouch" and began getting upset when taken into his bedroom. The wife mentioned it along with some other suspicions that he was basically being put in his room all the while she was there, that she had friends over when the wife was out and that she wasn't doing the things she said she was doing with him.
Coincidentally, we then had an attempted theft of one of our cars from the driveway and so I installed full internal and external cameras so the whole place was covered.
My wife would activate them when she left the house and on the first day of the Nanny working when the cameras were there, we caught the Nanny on camera pulling up on the driveway and screaming at our son to get out of the car (bearing in mind his age, he needed help to get out) and then dragged him out by the hood of his coat.
The notification came up on my phone and I drove straight home, walked into the house and showed her the video. She went the colour of beetroot, and I asked how she would feel if someone did that to her child?
I then said you need to leave now, before my wife gets home and that was it. She apologised and left! It was a horrendous experience!
Your poor little boy, 2-3 years old and not understanding why he’s being shouted at. I hope you gave him a massive hug afterwards.
I have no fuse at all for this kind of stuff.
OP: Glad you got this all sorted out.
Edited by Durzel on Friday 20th January 10:11
remedy said:
Come on OP, it's Friday night!
He came round to pick his stuff up, was apologetic and said he'd rather stay but I said at the moment I couldn't trust him, which was important to me. I said that the fact he lied about it when I asked him, coupled with the fact he'd lied numerous times in the past about more minor things (eg laundry detergent, shampoo, my milk etc etc) was what swung it. I said if he'd have owned up, apologised and said it wouldn't happen again I'd have been willing to give him a second chance.
I'm afraid it was all fairly uneventful really!
TyrannosauRoss Lex said:
remedy said:
Come on OP, it's Friday night!
He came round to pick his stuff up, was apologetic and said he'd rather stay but I said at the moment I couldn't trust him, which was important to me. I said that the fact he lied about it when I asked him, coupled with the fact he'd lied numerous times in the past about more minor things (eg laundry detergent, shampoo, my milk etc etc) was what swung it. I said if he'd have owned up, apologised and said it wouldn't happen again I'd have been willing to give him a second chance.
I'm afraid it was all fairly uneventful really!
bad company said:
TyrannosauRoss Lex said:
remedy said:
Come on OP, it's Friday night!
He came round to pick his stuff up, was apologetic and said he'd rather stay but I said at the moment I couldn't trust him, which was important to me. I said that the fact he lied about it when I asked him, coupled with the fact he'd lied numerous times in the past about more minor things (eg laundry detergent, shampoo, my milk etc etc) was what swung it. I said if he'd have owned up, apologised and said it wouldn't happen again I'd have been willing to give him a second chance.
I'm afraid it was all fairly uneventful really!
bad company said:
TyrannosauRoss Lex said:
remedy said:
Come on OP, it's Friday night!
He came round to pick his stuff up, was apologetic and said he'd rather stay but I said at the moment I couldn't trust him, which was important to me. I said that the fact he lied about it when I asked him, coupled with the fact he'd lied numerous times in the past about more minor things (eg laundry detergent, shampoo, my milk etc etc) was what swung it. I said if he'd have owned up, apologised and said it wouldn't happen again I'd have been willing to give him a second chance.
I'm afraid it was all fairly uneventful really!
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